(Closed) VEGAN WEDDINGS: Are you doing one, how's the planning going?

posted 4 years ago in Reception
Post # 61
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

ClaudiaKishi:  I guess that depends on where you’re from and your circle of friends. In the Midwest US, no, most people don’t eat those things. People still very much eat meat, potatoes, bread, and vegetables for dinner in this part of the country. Trust me, I’ve tried to get Darling Husband to eat those things, and he hates it. It’s all about how your palate developed as you were raised. 

Post # 62
Member
4244 posts
Honey bee

bywater:  That’s ridiculous. Non vegans eat vegan food all the time. I’ve eaten exclusively vegan food today, even- a banana for breakfast and some soup for lunch. Feeding your guests vegan food is completely different than only having non-vegan food for a vegan. Most people can eat vegan food no problem (and do it all the time). If you have food issues then of course you would communicate that, but most people don’t AND any reasonable person would accommodate your health issues. 

But then again, you’re the same person who said CFBC people need to get over themselves because their choice is hurtful to people who can’t have kids, so they basically need to shut up about it, so I’m pretty sure you’re just one of those special snowflakes who think other people’s choices need to revolve around your issues. 

Post # 63
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

gingerkitten:  But, potatoes and vegetables are vegan, as is most (shop bought particularly) bread… So what’s the issue? You also have pasta, which again, most people, even super fussy people, eat; pasta arrabiata for example is often a crowd-pleaser and is tasty, filling, and, yes, vegan. I also make a lot of dishes using vegan soya ‘mince’ (eg chilli con ‘carne’) and most people can’t tell that it isn’t actual mince.

Some vegan dishes can be more divisive, but there are loads out there that even super fussy eaters will happily eat.

Post # 64
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee

ClaudiaKishi:  Yes, I do think CFBC people need to get over themselves and realize that people who aren’t CFBC are hurt by people who throw away their ability to have children.  That’s not what this is.

It’s a fact that I cannot survive on what you can – I absorb next to NO nutrients out of food.  NONE.  My intenstines are constantly inflamed, no matter I eat or take to help with it.  When I go out, I make sure that I have something ahead of time so that I’m not forcing the medical requirements of my body on others.  What does that mean?  It means that  I need 150+ grams of protien a day so that I can absorb 60g of protien a day and about 150 grams of fat a day to ensure that I absorb the 30 grams of fat I need to keep my neurons happy so I don’t suffer brain damage.  It means that I cannot in good conscious and good health eat a vegan or vegerian meal and still get enough nutrition into me.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  bywater. Reason: Fixed a grammar agreement problem
Post # 65
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

edited to use reply function.

Post # 66
Member
4244 posts
Honey bee

bywater:  Which is why you inform your host of that fact or eat before 🙂 

Your assumptions that others choices need to revolve around you are again, too ridiculous for words. 

Post # 67
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

bywater:  Once again, it is up to you to inform your host/s; they are not mind-readers, and cannot possibly know what your individual requirements are, especially when they are so specific/unusual (for example, at ours we made sure we had gluten-free, pescatarian, and vegetarian options available throughout the day, as these are common requirements; however, if guests had had any other issues/restrictions that are less common, it would not have been a problem to cater to those). I am sure that the host/s would have made sure you were catered for had you informed them.

I must say I find it crazy that you wouldn’t do so. Like I said, I have a severe Quorn allergy, which, while not life-threatening, is extremely nasty and, were I to eat it again, I would end up in hospital on an IV. I ALWAYS inform hosts of this, and, if ordering something like a veggie breakfast with meat-free sausage, always check that it does not contain Quorn. That’s called being a responsible adult, so personally I cannot understand why, when you apparently have such a serious condition, you would not do this. It is not difficult.

Post # 68
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

bywater:  

i’m sorry for your issues. it sounds like any meal prepared outside your home would be inadequate and insufficient for your needs which must be very difficult. I think in your circumstances it would be best not to eat at all, if the host knows your restrictions but for some reason hasn’t catered for them, they are the rude ones not you for not eating.

 

Post # 69
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t expect others to cater to my needs.  I have to be the responsible person ALL THE TIME.  I won’t ask my host and hostess to alter their plans.  I’m the queen of quick fix, nutrient dense, high protien foods and I rarely eat out.  It’s not worth the hassle.

Just like at our wedding, Fiance wants a full meal including a salad, multiple veggie sides and a cake.  I’m fine with getting all of that and not eating it.  Just like I won’t force my guests to not have a wedding cake when I can’t eat it. 

Post # 70
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

bywater:  I have to say that from a host’s perspective, I would be mortified if a guest felt unable to inform me of their dietary restrictions, and would find it hugely embarassing to have other guests potentially assume that I had been informed and not catered for them (which is what I would assume as a guest if I saw someone unable to eat the meal provided). I would be more than happy to work with a guest to ensure I was able to provide them with a meal that met their needs, no matter how complex their requirements were.

I also have to say that given your follow-up post, I am unclear as to what exactly your issue is with vegan weddings. It appears that you have very specific needs, that likely cannot be met by a standard menu that includes meat; and further, you appear to refuse to inform hosts but rather make your own arrangements. So what exactly is your issue with vegan weddings? Because it sounds to me like from your perspective, you will have issues regardless.

And with regards to the event you mentioned previously, I don’t understand why you chose to eat foods that you know cause you problems. That really makes no sense to me, and yes, it comes across as dramatic.

What I’m getting from your posts is basically this: you have super-specific needs, but you refuse to tell your host/s so that you can be catered for, and instead go and eat foods which you know make you ill. I’m struggling to understand why; it seems almost like you are creating problems where none need exist.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  barbie86.
Post # 71
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee

barbie86:  My point is that people who belive that “it’s okay for their guests to eat Vegan/Vegetarian” need to realize that not everyone can eat that way and it’s not because they won’t make those choices.

Post # 72
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

Unfortunately a general menu cannot cater for everyone, that’s why hosts need to know specific dietary requirements! If you’re saying that because vegan is bad for you, people should realise vegan weddings can’t be a thing, then the same applies to weddings with shellfish, milk, gluten, tomatoes, nuts, and on and on and on. You plan your menu and adapt as people let you know about dietary requirements.

Post # 73
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

bywater:  Again, from what you have said, you would likely not be able to eat the food whether or not it contained meat, because your requirements are so specific. Which is why, as myself and PP have said, YOU need to inform the hosts of YOUR requirements so that they can cater to you. It is really very simple; you are making a huge deal out of something that frankly should be a non-issue.

Now, if you informed your host/s of your needs and they refused to cater for you, that would be rude. But you are not even giving them a chance; you are simply assuming that they can’t/won’t cater for you, which is ridiculous.

Post # 74
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I haven’t read all the comments, but wanted to add my experience.  My fiance and I are planning a fully vegan wedding.  It’s been smooth so far, and fun!  

Catering:

Our venue had an option of 6 different caterers.  We contacted them all, and all of them were eager to do a vegan wedding.  Most had done one before but some hadn’t and you could tell they really wanted to add it to their repertoire (obviously this is becoming a common thing!).  We went to like 8 different venues in total, so we talked to more than just those 6 caterers.  All were willing to accomodate, but some of the venues with in-house catering or only one option I could tell would be more of the standard catering food which we DID NOT want.  I go to a lot of caterered events and I am sick of pasta primavera and vegetable stacks!

We did tastings at two different caterers.  Both were great, one was better.  Phenomenal actually.  She gave us multiple hors’ douevres options, and we picked our favorites.  One is a tomato pesto crostini thing, and the other was roasted seasoned chickpeas.  Salad is a summer corn, tomato, cucumber, and basil salad.  Entree is a cashew cheese lasagna.  It was a big portion and seriously delicious.  There were other great options too though – a quinoa stuffed bell pepper (which we’ll keep as the gluten free/nut allergy option), a veggie pot pie, a mushroom wellington, and something else I think.  Multiple choices in sides, including mashed cauliflour, sweet potato hash, and the more common options.  We picked what we thought our guests would find delicious and slightly unusual, but not so far out of their comfort zone.  No fake meats or anything (they didn’t give us that option but I probably would have declined it anyway.  I don’t like them that much.)

Dress:

I went to try on dresses and didn’t think I’d buy one at the time, so I wasn’t being very vigilant about materials.  I did actually end up falling in love with a dress that had some silk on it.  🙁  Well, when I got home I looked it up and noticed there was silk and crossed it off my list!  I should have paid more attention, but at least I didn’t buy it.  Other than that, I thought it was pretty easy to avoid silk.  Most of the lower to mid range designers don’t use it much.  Lace, tulle, taffeta, and organza are almost always silk free (unless you’re going super high end), and surprisingly, so is satin.  Trust me, the brand will brag if it’s silk satin, so it’s easy enough to spot.  I’d check before you go shopping and come prepared with a list of styles you like that don’t have silk.  I doubt most bridal store consultants will know.  

Cake:

It was a little challenging at first, but we were able to find quite a few places that made vegan cakes.  I just Googled some – a few actually said they were vegan friendly right on the website so that was easy.  Some said it on weddingwire too.  We did 3 tastings.  One was good, but tasted more like store bought cake, and one was a little more amateur and she did more cupcakes than cakes so we weren’t confident in her ability to make a traditional tiered cake in July.  The third was the most expensive of course but was delicious.  Moist and flavorful.  All her chocolate cakes were vegan, even if customers didn’t specifically ask for it.  She said she liked the texture better than non-vegan.  And she was willing to make white cake vegan too.  We went with 3 flavors: mexican hot chocolate, carrot cake, and strawberry (real strawberries mixed into the white cake, omg delicious).  

Suits:

My fiance is having his custom made at a place in Chicago that uses vegan fabrics (among others).  He is buying the groomsmen suits.  We’ve found several options at Macy’s that aren’t made of wool.  Probably going with this one: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/kenneth-cole-reaction-tonal-blue-shadow-check-slim-fit-suit?ID=2241141&CategoryID=17788&LinkType=#fn=COLOR%3DBlue%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D153%26ruleId%3D%26slotId%3D2 

Jewelry/hair accessories:

Bridal accessories use pearls more often than I thought, but it’s easy enough to find fake ones or avoid pearls completely.

Makeup artist:

I started out by searching for vegan friendly makeup artists, and didn’t have much luck.  So I just found some I liked and emailed them and asked if they’d be willing to use vegan products.  They all said yes so I just picked my favorite.  Lots of airbrush makeup brands are vegan, so that’s good.  And I have my own recommendations for other vegan makeup products if they’re stumped.

Favors:

I want to do edible favors just to provide one more opportunity to feed people (like the few comments I’ve read on here, I want to make sure no one goes hungry!)  I’ve found several chocolate truffle favors that come in vegan flavors.  We are probably going to go with a little cookie place I found on Etsy that can do vegan cookies.  

 

I think that’s it.  I might be forgetting something.  Luckily, my fiance is totally on board with a vegan wedding even though he’s an omnivore (we eat vegan at home, and he shares the cooking too, so I’m grateful he’s so okay with it).  My mom, stepdad, and sister are all vegan, so no huge struggles with the family.  My mom and stepdad are chipping in for most of the catering too, and my mom is a more opinionated vegan than I am, so her buying meat or dairy would be out of the question anyway.  My dad and stepmom are used to our veganism by now and expected it to be vegan.  My friends expect it.  If my distant family is upset with it, I won’t lose any sleep if they decide not to come.  

My fiance has “warned” many of his family and friends that it will be vegan.  Any time I’ve gone to any of their houses they’ve been very understanding about it, so I’m not too worried.

I think the most important factor that influences how hard or easy of a time you’ll have planning a vegan wedding is where you live, specifically in a city or in a more rural area.  We live in a relatively large city, but it’s in the midwest, so it’s not like it has to be one of the coasts.  If we were trying to do this where we lived before (small town in a more rural area of midwest) we’d run into a LOT of problems.  

Good luck!  I might post again if I feel like reading all the comments.  

Post # 75
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

bywater:  I feel like you should probably just stop now..

What in gods name do you mean by ‘not everyone can eat that way’? If you have a serious allergy (no matter what your dietary preference) its your responsibility to inform your host. The vast majority of people can eat vegan just fine, you seem to be the special one.. In more ways than one.

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