(Closed) Vegetarian Faux Pas? Please Help!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is having an all vegetarian reception an etiquette faux pas?
    Yes- Your reception is for your guests-respect their tastes : (46 votes)
    8 %
    Yes- Only if you don't provide one meat option for your guests who dont share your beliefs : (75 votes)
    14 %
    No- It is only one meal;also it is free they shouldn't complain : (190 votes)
    35 %
    No-If you are morally against animal consumption then don't pay for it on your wedding day : (237 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

    I’m not vegetarian, but totally respect your wish to serve whatever food you like at YOUR reception! It won’t kill people to go without meat for one meal!

    Post # 4
    Member
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I see no problem with it. 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Just as a vegetarian expects to be somewhat accommodated at a wedding (having a vegetarian option on the menu, or being able to get the sides on the plate with no meat), carnivores really should also have an option they would like.

    If your crowd contains a lot of vegetarians, this advice might be slightly different, but just think about how you would feel if you showed up to an event and were told that you could not eat anything.  That may sound extreme, but there are a lot of people out there who don’t consider anything without meat a full meal.

    (I was a vegetarian for many years, and now eat fish.  I know where you’re coming from, but I’m answering your question with proper etiquette.)

    Post # 6
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    if you are veggi for moral and ethical reasons OF COURSE you are not going to serve meat! that makes total sence. We are against factory raised meet and pesticides, why would we serve non-organic factory farmed meat at our reception? Just as my Jewish family woudln’t serve a non-kosher meal, you shouldn’t be forced in to something that goes against your morals. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    This is a gray area because it’s where your personal moral values rub up against etiquette. The reception is indeed for your guests and, like it or not, many omnivores feel they haven’t eaten a full meal unless they’ve had meat. Although I eat meat, I would have no problem enjoying a vegetarian reception. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable having a meatless reception knowing some of my guests…

    The way you say “the overwhelming majority of our deeply southern relatives” makes me think that a meatless reception could ruffle a lot of feathers, so I guess you need to decide whether you’re willing to do that to have your reception conform to your principles, and if you are, accept that it might not go over well.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    While I would eat at your reception, odds are I would go home hungry and grumble about your wedding after it to other meat eatters who were there. I would understand if you don’t morally eat meat, but that doesn’t mean I would be happy about it. I do tend to agree, the point of the reception is for the guests so if the majority of your guests aren’t veggie only, then having a meat entree would be nice for them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @futuremrsfitz18:  Agreed.

    I don’t know.. I love meat and I guess if there were some yummy salads etc. then I’d be ok going without, I don’t eat meat EVERY meal.. but I would be a bit miffed I’m sure. It’s kind of the principle of the thing. I’d remember the wedding as one where there wasn’t even the option of meat. I’d feel like the couple was selfish by imposing their views on me, basically saying that their tastes matter more than anyone else’s. If I were having a big wedding I would definitely have some veggie options because I’d want to please everyone.

    I just see people being ticked off even though yes it is your wedding and yes it is only one meal. Just my 2 cents.

    Post # 10
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee

    @globalmargaret:  This. If it is against your moral beliefs then don’t do it. End of story. Serve tasty vegeterian food. Serve pasta. Whatever. Stay true to your own beliefs- Nobody would ask you to have a service that wasn’t aligned with your beliefs. Same thing for the reception. If people would prefer meat, well- too bad.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    If you just didn’t *like* meat, I would say go ahead and serve a meat option to satisfy those who do.

    But this is a moral and ethical issue for the two of you. I don’t think you need to sacrifice your moral standing on something for the sake of people wanting to eat meat. It’s not necessary to have meat at every meal and there are many ways to get your proteins – if you’re offering hearty entrees, most normal people aren’t going to miss the meat. Yes, the reception is a means of thanking your guests for sharing your wedding day with you, but that doesn’t mean you need to go against your core belief on something.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1052 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    I’m a vegetarian, so I would love it.  My SO is not and I’ve found lot of things that we can both eat and he’s still satisfied.  But, I guess it matters what you have as veggie options.

    Does vegetarian mean simple veggies and “healthy” food?  Because I think you’ll have a lot more upset people than if you serve heavier meatless options, like potatoes, mac and cheese, french fries… I dunno.  You would need something like cheese or heavy cream sauces or something to not have the meat eaters complaining, IMO.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t think you need to fold, but that is just me… I don’t know your family, so I have no idea how they are going to react. Half my my family are all vegans anyways. I think that if the food is so delicious that they don’t even notice it is missing meat then whats the harm, just tell your parents not to say anything and see who comments. What about dishes that don’t typically have meat involved? Eggplant parmasan? Stuffed manacotti shells? 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Serve the food you want.  There are plenty of veggie options that meat eaters will like.  Who hasn’t eaten pizza, mac and cheese, etc.  I wouldn’t overload them with tofu and vegetables.  Maybe go the vegetarian comfort food route since you have so many southern guests?  I don’t see a problem with sticking up for your beliefs.

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