(Closed) Vegetarian Faux Pas? Please Help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is having an all vegetarian reception an etiquette faux pas?

    Yes- Your reception is for your guests-respect their tastes

    Yes- Only if you don't provide one meat option for your guests who dont share your beliefs

    No- It is only one meal;also it is free they shouldn't complain

    No-If you are morally against animal consumption then don't pay for it on your wedding day

  • Post # 34
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @bellapiece:  I doubt it’ll come off as any different than other times they’ve been around you guys and you’ve ordered vegetarian food or had to turn away food that wasn’t vegetarian. I think this feeling of being judged isn’t something you two would be actively conveying, more just something that arises unavoidably in situations where food choices come up. I don’t think you need to feel guilty about it. If your guests are truly supportive, they should be understanding. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Funnily, as a vegetarian myself I was having a conversation about this with my grandmother the other day.  She was telling me a story about how she went to a vegetarian wedding years ago with my meat-loving grandfather. At the end of the meal he commented to my grandmother how amazingly tender the “meat” was.  He’d enjoyed the dinner so much, he’d actually forgotten that it wasn’t real meat!

    I served a dinner to a group of meat-loving males a while ago without telling them that it was all vegetarian.  They all loved it or didn’t feel full afterwards – and my spies tell me not one of them even really paid attenton to the fact they hadn’t had meat for dinner.

    It sounds like you are serving a lot of food and as long as you have some nice filling dishes your guests will probably be pleasantly surprised.  Some people will still complain I’m sure, but I don’t think you should compromise your beliefs in this instance.

    Post # 36
    Member
    2135 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I know a lot of people who would be bothered by this. Me, however, I am not a vegetarian, but I like veggie food. There could be a lot of good options that would still be delicious!

    Post # 37
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    This is totally random, but it just popped into my head…. I had these mushrooms in a Thai stir-fry once at a restaurant where I used to work. I think they were fresh wood ear mushrooms, and everyone thought they tasted exactly like chicken, and had a very similar texture. We could only get them very rarely, but when we could, many of us carnivores had the mushrooms instead of meat. We went nuts over them! If your caterer could get something like that, maybe it could help? 

    Post # 38
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it’s fine!  Nearly all non-vegetarians have meals or even days when we don’t eat any meat without even thinking about it.  The fact that this is an ethical issue for you guys makes this even more ok.  I wouldn’t expect to be served meat at a vegetarian’s wedding any more than I would expect pork at an Orthodox Jewish one or alcohol at an Islamic one.  I don’t think you will appear judgmental unless you draw a lot of attention to it.

    Post # 39
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    So maybe you could do a little information card in your invitations, and/or if you do a wedding website put a note on that, about the fact that the reception will be vegetarian. The note would be a way of stressing the non-judgmental, positive aspect of your choice. Something like “As many of you know, we have been vegetarians for almost a decade and we are so excited to share with you just how great vegetarian food can be. Our reception will feature a variety of filling and delicious meatless dishes from around the world, so bring your appetite!” Or maybe you can think of a slightly less cheesy variation on that. Anyway, that way no one will be unpleasantly surprised, and people who insist they haven’t really eaten unless they’ve eaten meat can eat beforehand if they must. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I can see both sides. I wouldn’t expect you to serve meat if you are morally opposed but I would go to your reception and make sure I ate first. I don’t eat grains or Beans of any kind so pastas and rices would be off the table. I usually don’t expect people to accommodate my diet so I k ow in advance I won’t be eating. 

    On the other hand I do agree with your parents about guests and their comfort. In the end I think it’s your wedding and if you are ok with people’s reactions then you should just do what you want. People will get over it. 

    I wouldn’t make any announcements about your moral stance though. That would probably be offensiv.  We served pork as the main dish at our wedding. I do not eat it but I knew my guests did and so does my dh. Like I said, I can see both sides. 

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Do what I did once to my SO; serve them fake meat (veggie “chicken”, etc.). He used to be a big meat eater, and did not notice the difference 😉 (he is now a vegetarian too for moral reasons).

    In all seriousness, if you both are against it (I am also a veggie so I understand totally what you mean), do not serve meat.  In fact, find some awesome vegetarian dishes (we came up with a new recipe involving goat cheese, hummus, eggplant, and garlic..so good!) and I bet you’ll even have people wanting to try new things after the wedding.

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    I would stick to my morals and beliefs. I wouldn’t expect alcohol at a Mormon wedding, even if I drink myself. You shouldn’t have to throw a reception with meals that are against your morals. Your guests know you and I think they should be expecting a vegetarian meal. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Why would someone expect to be served meat at a vegetarian’s wedding? To me this is like serving kosher food at a Jewish wedding. No one is going to expect the bride and groom to provide a non kosher option for the non-Jews. Going meatless won’t kill them. Just choose dishes that are meant to be meatless, and don’t weird them out with any “fake meats”. Should be delicious!!

     

    Post # 44
    Member
    898 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Stick to your guns, my friend.

    I’m having a hindu ceremony and a regular american ceremony, and there will be no meat served (no alcohol, either) at the hindu ceremony for religious reasons. And anyone who doesn’t like it….is free to not have any of our amazing indian/sri lankan food.  =) =)

     

    But seriously.  I haven’t even told people there won’t be meat…because I’m assuming they would never be so rude as to complain about what we’re serving at our wedding.  And, probably if a person had a big problem with not eating meat for 1 meal, they would also have a problem with spicy food/curries/”strange” foods, so they would’t like anything we’ll be serving anyway.  And if they were THAT picky, they probably wouldn’t be in my circle of friends in the first place. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    6737 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    A vegetarian reception is NOT the same as a vegan reception, which I think would be extreme. I don’t think people would go home hungry.  Think about all the vegetarian options there are! 

    Here’s a sample vegetarian menu:

    http://www.snuffins.com/client/assets/files/vegetarian,%20vegan%20dinner%20menus.pdf

    If it’s against your beliefs to eat meat (like, you’re not doing it b/c of health reasons but b/c of moral reasons), I can’t see how you could be ok with paying for other people to eat meat at your own wedding!

    Maybe you can add to the invite ‘Vegetarian Reception to Follow’ and if people are afraid they’ll be hungry, they’ll know that they should eat before coming. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    I didn’t serve a vegetarian option at my wedding (buffet with meatless sides) due to a farming background so I wouldn’t expect a vegetarian to serve meat. 

    It’s your wedding, do what you wish. 

     

    ETA: lol, and THIS is my 5,000 post, haha. 

    The topic ‘Vegetarian Faux Pas? Please Help!’ is closed to new replies.

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