(Closed) Vegetarian Faux Pas? Please Help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is having an all vegetarian reception an etiquette faux pas?

    Yes- Your reception is for your guests-respect their tastes

    Yes- Only if you don't provide one meat option for your guests who dont share your beliefs

    No- It is only one meal;also it is free they shouldn't complain

    No-If you are morally against animal consumption then don't pay for it on your wedding day

  • Post # 47
    Member
    836 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    The thing is, for most meat eaters, the entire meal does not consist of ONLY meat. There are plenty of meat-free sides that go along with any dish, and so most meat eaters also eat foods that are not meat. Vegetarians, however, cannot eat a meat dish just because it has non-meat in it. The two situations are not equal. At an all-vegetarian wedding reception or party or even a friendly dinner, meat eaters still have plenty to eat and the meals are likely to be just as filling and satisfying, considering the entire menu will be geared toward providing a balanced, full meal. 

    If you’re morally opposed to providing meat, then don’t. Etiquette be damned. People pick and choose what etiquette they want to follow, anyway, and most never even think twice until it’s about a wedding, and then it’s an etiquette-nit-pick free-for-all. So it’s bad etiquette to serve all meatless food at a reception? Well, it’s equally bad etiquette for your guests to then bitch about it or give you a hard time for it. You could just as easily have opted for a cocktail reception where you provide limited appetizer-like food that won’t fill up anybody.

    I don’t buy the idea that a reception is for your guests, therefore you must cater to their desires. They’re there to celebrate you and your spouse and be happy about your union and the life you’ve chosen together. For you, that includes being a vegetarian. For one meal, it won’t kill any of them to suck it up and enjoy something new and thoughtful. Because knowing that they’re mostly omnivores, you’re likely to be even more particular about what foods you serve to ensure maximum enjoyment so that nobody feels like they’re “missing” something on their plate. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    1463 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I say go with a vegetarian meal, if you can get creative with your choices people probably won’t even notice that you’re not serving meat!

    Post # 49
    Member
    250 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    A common misonception about vegetarianism is that the dishes are not substantial. Obviously, you have full capability to provide substantial meat-free dishes, and I don’t believe you need to make an announcement ahead of time.  Heck, if you were vegan there would be no need to announe that your cake was milk- and egg-free (unless there was a signifiant allergic contingent, of ourse).  While I have never been vegetarian, someone in my family had significant cholesterol issues that caused us to eat low-/no-meat diets, and I’ve really never noticed the difference.  To this day when I am in buffet settings, I often bypass the meat option if for no other reason than that the vegetarian option simply looks tastier!

    Post # 50
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’ve been a vegetarian for 14 years and I would never prevent someone from eating meat. To me, it’s a decision that is personal. I will have meat at my wedding for those that eat meat. 

    Would you treat your friend at a restaurant and tell them they couldn’t order meat? 

    Post # 51
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s not rude to offer only vegetarian options.  As long as you offer your guests plentiful and tasty food, you’ve met your hosting duty.  Give me a delicious veggie dish over rubber chicken any day!

    Coming from a woman who always eats the red meat option at weddings.

    Post # 52
    Member
    9832 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    definitely ok to serve all vegetarian options, unless some of them are carnivores (ONLY eat meat) then there is no issue, as all will eat vegetarian food, no meat required 🙂

    Post # 53
    Member
    9182 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Reception etiquette revolves around providing for your guests and making them comfortable. It does not state that you must indulge their every whim. So as long as you treat your guests well- provide them with food and drink in a comfortable enviornment eg seating etc then you are fulfilling your etiquette requirements.

    So you should definately not feel guilty for providing a vegetarian or vegan reception as long as it meets the basic criteria of providing for your guests.

    I find these threads interesting as posters throw up comments about guests comfort (so serve some meat) but will post in a child free wedding or plus one thread stick to your guns no kids/partners those evil people even suggesting that they bring them etc etc.

    Post # 54
    Member
    9182 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @MissNapaBride:  Nope I would probably take them to vegetarian restaurant though if I was paying!

    Post # 55
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t see how this would be a problem at all! I think the main issue is that a lot of people assume a vegetarian meal is not filling, which isn’t true at all. If you’re morally against the consumption of meat, it’s crazy to have meat at your wedding. People should also respect your beliefs. And it’s one meal, so they should be fine. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I mean, I personally as a guest wouldn’t complain. I’m not a vegetarian, but I love vegetarian food and would be totally fine with it.

     

    The rest of my family might throw a fit.

    Post # 57
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Go for the veggie menu!

    I wouldn’t put anything up on your website, however, as a PP suggested–to me that’s like you’re apologizing ahead of time, saying “hey, you’re gonna hate our menu so go out and get a burger on your way here!” I think people will be more unhappy about it if you focus their minds on it. As others have said, even omnivores don’t eat meat at every meal, and if you have some more substantial, less “weird” options they may not notice, or at least won’t grumble.

    Post # 58
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    As long as the food is good, then who cares! My husband probably wouldn’t be blown away by the options, but I guarantee he’d find SOMETHING to eat. I love all food as long as it’s delicious, so I’d eat his share. 🙂

     

    Post # 59
    Member
    9832 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    one option could be vegetarian lasagne or something, very similar to beef lasagne, crowd favourite 🙂 and very filling!

    Post # 60
    Member
    836 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    View original reply
    @Jacqui90:  Very true! My family is comprised of meat lovers (I’m not a vegetarian but I am not a big fan of meat taste-wise) but our lasagna has always been vegetarian. And I don’t even mean chock-full of vegetables. Just pasta, cheeses and sauce — things even most carnivorous folk love! 

    Post # 61
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think you should go with whatever you are comfortable with.  Face it, people go to weddings all the time where they aren’t thrilled with the food.  Heck, I have more than a few friends that aren’t happy with the ubiquitous “steak, salmon, or pasta” choices. Your international stations sound wonderful.

    However, I would mention your menu on your wedding website.  For those that are on some sort of Atkins like diet, it gives them the opportunity to have their protein before they show up.  I wouldn’t mention it in a apologetic way, I’d just post the menu on the website.  For most, it would give them something to look forward to.

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