(Closed) Vegetarian Faux Pas? Please Help!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is having an all vegetarian reception an etiquette faux pas?

    Yes- Your reception is for your guests-respect their tastes

    Yes- Only if you don't provide one meat option for your guests who dont share your beliefs

    No- It is only one meal;also it is free they shouldn't complain

    No-If you are morally against animal consumption then don't pay for it on your wedding day

  • Post # 77
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I just went to an all-veggie wedding for a couple who weren’t vegetarians… and it was delicious. I don’t think anyone complained, although my husband made sure to get his fill of meat earlier in the day! 😉

    Post # 78
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Please stick to your beliefs and serve your guests a vegetarian meatless meal.  A wedding should be personalized to reflect the couple, and I would not expect vegetarians to feed me meat.  You could get your caterer to serve some meatless alternatives (the fake meat stuff), but I always hated that stuff and think your guests will just be annoyed.  I think your best bet is to go with portobella mushrooms or quiches, etc.  Make fresh healthy vegtables and fruits and such be the focus of the meal.  Even carnivores eat meatless meals to save money or get their 5-7 a day in.  I don’t think it is that big of a deal

    *I was veg for over seven years, but am paleo now.

    Post # 79
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    And I should add, maybe you can compromise that your parents can provide meat for the rehearsal dinner (since they will be paying for that?).

    Post # 80
    Member
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I agree with your family that the “reception is for the guests,” however the idea that someone will only be satisfied with a meat-based meal seems far-fetched. I think the food stations sound fantastic…DH (who is a Fogo de Chao junkie) would be all over it!

    Edit: And I agree with other posters- I wouldn’t expect alcohol at a Mormon wedding, non-kosher food at an Orthodox wedding, meat at a Hindu wedding, etc. I will respect my host’s dietary choices for the evening, even if they’re not mine.

    Post # 81
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Stick to your guns for a meat free meal.  It will be fine.  When I was a strict veggie, I was dating a guy who ate meat.  I wouldn’t even pay for his dinner if he ordered meat.  It’s your hard earned money, and there is no need to support something you find ethically wrong.  I currently don’t eat red meat, and not one person made an issue of our steak-free wedding.  We served salmon and chicken family style (from a local sustainable farm– no factory farming), with lots of veggie sides.  I think family style could be a great way for people to try lots of options, especially if its things people aren’t otherwise used to.  It’s ONE MEAL.  They can deal, and there are lots of veggie dishes that people are sure to love.  Didn’t Natalie Portman just have a vegan wedding?

    Post # 82
    Member
    5493 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think EVERYONE can stand to forego eating meat for one meal.  In fact it’ll probably be good for their health.  There are so many delicious and filling meals that absolutely do not contain any meat at all, (lasagna, pastas with roasted veggies, etc).  You’re guests will be fine.

     

    Post # 83
    Member
    9830 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would be a bit annoyed but it wouldn’t kill me. My Fiance is a big meat eater so I’m pretty sure he’d be crabby and want to sneak out and go get fast food or something though lol.

    Post # 84
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    Just to throw in my two cents… I had a totally vegan wedding and didn’t care what anyone had to say. Most folks were totally fine with it— good food is good food. The kids did have mac and cheese, and a few adults on DH’s side requested that over the adult spinach and tofu filled manicotti with curried vegetables or roasted vegetable napolean with curried rice. I flat out told them it was one meal, and they could handle choosing an adult option. End of story. I felt a little “guilty” for about 2.5 seconds. But it really came down to the caterer being able to pull it off. We had to use the venue’s caterer, and the first tasting was a totaly bust. I ended up giving the chef my own recipes to cook, and they ended up pretty tastey.

    Morally, there was no way in hell I was going to serve dead animal to a bunch of my friends and family when I haven’t consumed an animal product in 16 years.

    I will say i didn’t advertise it was all vegan, but it was clearly all vegetarian, and most people figured vegan.

    Post # 85
    Bee
    11808 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

    Your guests can go one night without meat. Maybe they’ll even enjoy it!

    Post # 86
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I haven’t read the PP but we had a vegan cocktail hour/dinner with a vegetarian dessert bar. We are vegetarians (usually vegan) ourselves and devout animal lovers. In fact, our favors were charitable donations to animal rescues and our venue is an educational center that promotes marine conservation.

    We are 100% happy we went with a meatfree wedding and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We had some complaints from people who simply couldn’t fathom a meal without meat, and one of these comments made it to FB, where their friends – not guests – commented that we should’ve somehow notified the guests so they could “prepare” ahead of time. To me, these comments are simply ignorant. I mean, you wouldn’t see “Italian reception to follow” or “Buffet reception to follow” on an invitation or website. Why should we alert people with “Meatfree reception to follow”? It’s not as though we will not have enough food that people may leave hungry, as in the case of dessert receptions. We did ask for allergy information and passed that onto our catering staff.

    Plenty of notable celebrity chefs have vegetarian tasting menus and dishes on their menus and honestly, this is ONE meal in their lives. Heaven forbid they have to eat some vegetables for a change. The food we served was creative and unique – not just pasta with marinara sauce and salad (aka “rabbit food”). The majority of the diners loved the food and didn’t even comment that it was meatfree.

    We did serve chicken tenders to the two kids there but they are like 3 and 4 years old. Their parents were fine with non-meat food, but since we knew they are picky eaters, we figured we will serve them something they’re used to.

    Post # 87
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    View original reply
    @Mrs. Gremmlin:  That’s the type of meal I have an issue with.  I don’t know what it is, but in the past when I have eaten curry, my stomach has swollen up so badly that I have trouble breathing and I end up throwing up everything.  Why would you not allow people to go with another option?

    Post # 88
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I definitely think you should have a vegetarian meal if it is this important to you! Seriously, it’s one meal, and I’m sure it will be DELICIOUS. I bet a lot of people won’t even notice. I also sort of feel like if people would complain about not getting to have meat at a dinner, they should consider getting some real problems.

    Post # 89
    Member
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Honestly, it would annoy me and i would probably grumble a bit but I would live with it and have a good time.

    If you had any of the below I would be happy and full:

    Mushroom Risotto

    Vegetarian Lasagne

    Mac & Cheese

    Roast Pumpkin Ravioli with Sage Burned Butter Sauce

     

    Post # 90
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    View original reply
    @AB Bride:  The curry was just a side, not a main dish. No one had any alergies to anything that was served. …What does curry have to do with dead animal, anyway? The discussion is about serving dead animal at a wedding when the couple is vegetarian. Morally, I would not serve dead animal. If you don’t like curry, that’s a different issue.

    ETA: If you’re talking about the mac and cheese guy… he had no alergies and didn’t even not like the options. He’s just a difficult guy. Plus, kids meals are for kids alone.

    Post # 91
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    So I read this and wasn’t going to respond because so many other had, but it’s bothering me so I came back to give my 2 cents.

    It would be ingenuine at best and hypocritical and worst for ethically minded vegetarians to offer meat as a reception meal.

    Good caterers, especially those who specialize in vegetarian meals, can make even the most dedicated meat-eater into a lover of non-meat. It doesn’t mean you’re only serving them salad. Please don’t go against your morals to serve people meat. It can certainly be a declicious and filling meal without meat. If they don’t like it they can stop at McDonald’s on the way home.

    PS- I am NOT vegetarian and I’d be more than happy to try the veggie food at your wedding!

    The topic ‘Vegetarian Faux Pas? Please Help!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors