(Closed) Vegetarian wedding? What do you think?

posted 12 years ago in Food
Post # 47
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Since I was kind of harsh in my response, I’m just going to add that my FH and I HATE HATE HATE desserts of any kind, especially cake, but since we know we’re a very small minority, we are serving cake and dessert trays. It’s all about pleasing your guests – just keep that in mind when planning the menu.

Of course, if one of my beloved friends or family was vegan (if you look at my profile you’ll see I’m into animal rights) and I knew ahead of time it was going to be an all veggy wedding, I would try to keep an open mind out of love of that person. BUT I would still be kind of annoyed.

Post # 48
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I eat meat but as long as the vegetarian food was good I probably wouldnt even notice.  I love my pasta so if you did that it would definitely be a nice change from the standard steak/chicken served at a wedding.  I love the ideas that someone earlier said about the mac and cheese, portabello burger, etc.

Post # 49
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

  I am having a vegetarian wedding. My fiance and I are both vegetarians and although only a few of our friends and family members are vegetarian or vegan we haven’t heard a single complaint about our choice. Most people think it’s pretty cool, and I’ve talked with three catering companies in Dallas who all do vegetarian events regularly. As the other posters have said your wedding day is not the day to compromise your values. Are YOU going to be happy surrounded by people eating dead things on your wedding day?

  I also think it is an unforgivable breach of etiquette for a guest to criticize the meal that you’re giving them. I cannot think of anything quite so ungrateful, ungracious, and flat out rude as to say to someone who has spent months of their time and thousands of dollars planning and event than, “I don’t want eat your food, this is terrible, your food’s not good enough for me, etc.” So I say go for it, have your vegetarian reception and if anyone complains just take satisfaction knowing that you are on the high ground and they are being unconscionably rude! 

Also, follow Miss Sprinkle! She had a great post a few days ago about her vegan menu, some really great ideas!

 

Post # 50
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My wedding will be 100% vegetarian, and I feel no guilt whatsoever.  The difference between meat-eaters at a vegetarian wedding and vegetarians at a meat-eaters wedding is that not many meat-eaters are morally opposed to eating vegetables.

To me, my vegetarianism is one of my most core ethical beliefs, and I cannot imagine that any of my friends or family would want me to compromise those beliefs for what will ultimately be 5 hours of their lives.  That said, we’ve worked very closely with our caterer to ensure tasty, tofu-less treats.  Nothing on our menu is something completely foreign to a carnivore.  There are even going to be some artery-clogging fried plantains and beignets, so we’re talking comfort food at its finest.  Rather than spotlight the lack of animals, we’re highlighting my Cuban heritage and our New Orleans upbringing. 

To the people who suggest that if they went to a vegetarian wedding they’d be annoyed, I have a question.  Is there really nothing without meat in it that you enjoy eating?  No soup, sandwich, pizza or french fries ever satisfy your cravings?  My dad is like the carnivore to end all carnivores and he’s dealing with it just fine. 

I would genuinely hope that all of your guests will be there to celebrate the two of you for exactly who you are.

 

 

Post # 51
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Bubblybride, please come back and tell us what you’re doing!

I took a look back over your post and wanted to bring out a different angle: was your Fiance suggesting you two include meat after the friends jeered, or was he pulling for meat before anyone put that choice down? If you two were both vegetarian, there should be no questioning your all-veggie wedding, but his omnivorous ways complicates things. Your menu should be based on what you two want, not from outside pressure. It looks like some positive responses have come through on this second page.

Post # 52
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t have a problem eating vegetarian food if I knew it was important to the couple–after all, you’re throwing the party and I can’t very well dictate what you’ll serve me! But on the other hand, not many people feel as I do, especially in the Midwest where I live. It sounds like your fiance would really like to have meat, and since the wedding is about both of you, I’d probably encourage you to incorporate some meat to make him happy. I assume this is an issue you guys have talked about before, so I say you should just settle it in a way that can make both of you happy, if possible.

Post # 53
Member
10 posts
Newbee

As a meat eater, I’d be totally fine with a vegetarian reception, as long as there was lots of variation in the food choices (meaning, for example, not beans in every single appetizer or entree selection).  To be honest, I go to weddings to celebrate and dance dance dance, so I spend very little time eating my food at the table.  I went to a family wedding last weekend, and barely touched the food because I was too busy having fun. I never would have minded an all veggie meal there.

Post # 54
Member
369 posts
Helper bee

I hate, hate, hate when there aren’t vegetarian options for guests at any event. I’m a meat eater, BUT I have specific religious beliefs when it comes to the type of meat I eat so I can’t usually eat any meat anywhere. Sometimes getting stuck with a plain old salad isn’t fun. I’ve had many friends who are strict vegetarians and find themselves in this position too much. How hard is it to include one vegetarian dish? Or just have a smaller amount of vegetarian food made if it’s the cost that’s causing this.

Post # 55
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Looks like everyone and her dog has shared an opinion on this, but I thought I’d throw in my two cents, too!

If your fiance doesn’t want an all-veggie reception, I don’t think it’s at all fair to force that option. If he’s on board, I think you should go ahead! Veggie food can definitely delicious, and done right I don’t think it would really matter to guests. As others have said, good food is good food. 

I am a long-time veggie and my fiance is a hunter and meat eater. He is not interested in becoming a vegetarian, but he did decide this year to eat only meat which he has personally killed or that was raised locally according to practices he agrees with. I didn’t make him do that, but I appreciate it enormously. We coexist just fine. He does not mind eating veggie most of the time and cooks his own meat when he wants to eat it, and I don’t nag him about it. Not saying that’s the only system, but it works for us. For our “heavy appetizer” reception, we emphasized to the caterer that we wanted plenty of veggie options and also to utilize local food resources, and she is working with us. I don’t think anyone will be disappointed!

Good luck!

Post # 56
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’ve avoided posting here so far even though I’ve been following this thread because I wanted to be clear in what I wrote. For background – we had a 100% vegetarian wedding over three days due to religious beliefs. My husband is Irish-German and you can imagine that he comes from a family of meat-eaters. In three days, not one person complained or said anything about the menu. Everyone had fun and I can’t imagine what I would have said if anyone had tried to complain about the food to my face.

What bothers me is the comments in this thread about “if it was good vegetarian food I would be ok with it” or something like that. I can’t imagine anyone would ever say “Oh I’d be ok with chicken at the wedding as long as it was good chicken” I would imagine if the OP is having an all vegetarian wedding she would ensure that the food would be good and that everyone would enjoy it. I’ve been to so many weddings when most of the non-vegetarian options were not nearly as appetizing as the vegetarian ones.

Anyways… off my soapbox. My point to the OP is that if you and your fiance want to have a vegetarian menu then you should go for it. We always tell the bride “it’s your day” so in this case I say “it’s your day” and you should do what you want in this matter!

Post # 57
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wanted to chime in that my coworker brought in some pesto pasta dish today and it smelled INSANELY GOOD. i was just drooling over the smell of it. mmmmmm.

I do hate having bad chicken at a wedding, too, lol, but in general, it is ONE MEAL OUT OF MY LIFE. I promise I won’t starve if I don’t loooove everything on my plate to death. I would never blatantly complain, how rude to do so! Maybe your FI’s guy friends are just joshing him since he, too, is a meat eater.

There’s always animal carcass drive through for the way home Laughing

And i’m dying to know what you guys decided to do and what you’ll serve!

Post # 58
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I can see the issue with having a vegetarian bbq. Most people just see bbq as having meat. However, I think there are plenty of other meal options for which vegetarian would be ok – maybe different types of pastas/salads?

Post # 59
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

No matter what you do you will get people saying “there must be x at a wedding”. But what do you and Fiance want? If your parents are involved with planning are they ok with it?

My Future In-Laws were at a wedding recently that was vegetarian… and some of the members of the brides immediate family are hunters! Future Father-In-Law still gripes about the lack of meat, but he survived. Future Mother-In-Law loved the meal (as did most others)! I think if you both feel strongly about it go for it, and have a standard “reply” ready in the wings for any flack-givers! 😉

Post # 60
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I dont think that is a good idea because not everyone who will attend your wedding may not be a vegetarian

Post # 61
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This is your wedding, so do what makes you happy. I personally would not enjoy a veggie wedding, and it sounds like your Fiance would not either. If both of you were vegetarians I would so go for it 100%. If you do decide to have a vegetarian wedding consider having a hearty pasta dish as an entree. Let us know what you decide, and what your menu choices are. Good Luck!

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