(Closed) Vendor Relative Etiquette?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should My cousin be asked to do my wedding photos?
    Ask her to do engagement pics : (6 votes)
    40 %
    Ask her to do the wedding : (0 votes)
    Ask for both : (0 votes)
    Hire a Local Professional : (9 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 3
    9668 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I think it’s perfectly fine not to ask her, and if she asks just say you want her to be able to relax and enjoy the day with you 🙂 I will be asking my aunt and uncle to do our wedding photos, my aunt did our engagement photos and did a great job. They are both doctors not professional photographers, but they travel a lot and take lots of photos and are very camera savvy!

    Post # 4
    857 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @ForeverAndEverAfter:  YES. I think it is great to not ask her  to shoot your wedding. That is her job. She is invited as a guest. 

    I was discussing this with my photographer yesterday, and she’s made the choice not to shoot any friends’ weddings. It’s just too hard to enjoy yourself while also working the party.

    I would talk to your cousin, and tell her she’s got the night off, and you’d love to have her opinion on some local photogrphers! 

    Post # 5
    13251 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Don’t ask.  There are so many threads about these situations going horribly wrong.  Just hire a professional, invite your cousin, and let her enjoy the wedding.  If she’s fantastic, I’m sure she’ll bring her own camera anyway and will share some of her shots with you after the wedding!

    Post # 6
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Has she offered to take the photos already? If she hasnt offered, then I wouldnt bring it up. 

    Post # 7
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    You could always ask her to do engagment photos (and be willing pay her rate as well- she may give you a deal or make it a gift) but then hire someone to do your wedding photos. that way she is a part of the day and you have some awesome pictures!


    Post # 8
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @ForeverAndEverAfter:  it wont insult her if you dont ask her but if youre worried say something like “i want you to enjoy my wedding as a guest, but could you give me a tip hwo to find a photographer with a similar style. i love your work”

    honestly, the pro photographers (and other wedding related vendors) prefer NOT to be asked to do friends and family weddings simply because

    – theyre working and not a real guest. so they dont enjoy wedding

    – theyre often expected to do it for free as a wedding gift or with a massive discount. so theyre neither enjoying themselves nor making money

    and also its easier to have a professional relationship with vendors as family relationships can conflict with expectations etc

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