(Closed) Vendors are doing my head in! Long rant

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yikes!!! That is a lot to deal with.  At this point it might just be best to let everything lie.  No reason to stress over people you can’t control.  Breath. And Im sure everything will work outbeautifully! 

Post # 4
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Pokemon:  a lot of this is DEFINITELY beyond the ordinary, and a few things are the part every bride deals with.  


Dont worry about the barn venue… We originally wanted ours held in the barn of a local farm… But they charge about $4,000 just to rent the place, no tables or food included. What is your wedding theme?


on the makeup, that sounds like it ultimately worked out for the best. Make the most of it! Start by hitting up Starbucks before the appointment, I’ve heard several brides say they got a free drink on their wedding day 🙂


As for the stationer, do you have anything on paper showing you paid them a deposit? Because you should be able to threaten legal action. It’s $100!!! Not sure about your budget, but I am just going to barely come under mine… $100 would cover tips the day of for a couple vendors, or give me all the supplies I need for all my DIY ceremony decor. Take steps to recover that money!


For the baker, don’t stress too much! It sounds like she runs a good business and that you trust her… In my experience small business owners do whatever they have to to follow through. I know my mother used to run an embroidery business and when her machine broke and work was due she sent the remaining orders to my cross country coach, who owned a sports store and did embroidery for teams. She gave him 75% of the profit on the shirts he did and kept 25% since she put the time into the designs. My guess is your lady has at least one friend/acquaintance who is in the same business, and will utilize that person if she has to in order to fulfill her commitments. And obviously she couldn’t help that she became pregnant! Just as a side note, maybe closer to the wedding during one of your appointments with her it might be nice to give her a card and/or small gift. Just small like a blanket or a little outfit. Not something you have to do by any means, but it would be a totally sweet gesture.


Photographer, don’t stress about the distance. Our DJ will be coming from 3 hours away, and our photographer does destination weddings. GOOD vendors are few and far between, and they are used to traveling. As for reviewing pics, etc… See if she can put all her work on a laptop and select a halfway meeting point… A Starbucks or Panera that is about 2 hours away for each of you. She should also have things set for you to see things via email and her website. I only have to meet with my photographer twice after the wedding… Once to confirm the pictures I want in our album, and once to review/pick up the finished product. everything else is online.


Bridesmaid #2… I’m in a similar situation. A friend I asked to be in my wedding hasn’t spoken to me at all since January… She got mad at me because she came over for my “bridesmaid bash” where I wanted my girls to meet each other, watch wedding movies, and make sashes to wear dress shopping… Because she spent the entire time talking about a friend who she likes… And has liked since they broke up.. Four years ago. I finally pulled her aside and tried to gently explain that the purpose of this get together was to do some stuff for my wedding, and that when we have these little wedding related get togethers I needed her to put her relationship issues aside until the next day. She hasn’t spoken to me, or any of our friends at all, since. If she doesn’t contact me before we go dress shopping then I’m assuming she is out of the wedding. So I can’t really advise but I can sympathize.




Groomsman 2… I can’t relate, other than to sympathize again because I am having my own groomsman issues… More problems with them than bridesmaids.


Engagement ring I can relate, my engagement ring is crap. My Fiance was duped by the sales guy about how the ring was made of this amazing new metal… Crap. The damn ring is sterling silver plated with this supposedly wonderful metal… The plating has worn off and the ring is tarnishing. It needs replaced at some point. I’m irritated because my wonderful Fiance who spent an entire day driving to jewelry stores, visiting some of them 2-3 times to do comparison… Now feels like crap because the ring was a fail. 


In laws I can’t compare… My parents love my fiancé and my fil’s love me… His sister, brother, and sister in law love me too. My sister sometimes loves my Fiance and sometimes hates him… But she’s all of 13 years old and gets mad when she thinks he is taking her big sister away (we don’t have any other siblings, it’s just the two of us).



listen, the most important part is that you will be married. I am having fun planning my wedding… But the parts I am most excited about… Saying “I do”, heading the priest announce us as mr. And mrs. Stephen Thomas Neugebauer, and stepping out of the bathroom in our hotel room wearing the beautiful white slip I bought for our wedding night. My favorite thing is to wonder where he will be when I step out… Will he be laying on the bed waiting for me? Will he be so impatient that he is standing right outside the bathroom door ready to pick me up and carry me to the bed? I’m just most excited to have his arms around me and know that I get to be with him forever.

Post # 6
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Pokemon:  no problem! I’ve only been on here a day, but even in that time I’ve already committed to trying to answer long post, especially when not many ppl are bothering to answer. Because if you took the time to type all this, then you deserve at least one good response. And I know, personally for myself, that I don’t post just to rant, I wanna be able to actually talk about it! I try to give others the same treatment.

Post # 7
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wowww that is a lot, I’m so sorry 🙁 

I think you ended up winning on the hair/makeup and venue.

I’d just straight up ask the baker about it.  It may be that she has a reliable backup person already in place, for example.

I’m so sorry your bridesmaid and groomsman are being so obnoxious. 

Your in-laws sound horrible ugh. 


It sounds like you went through a lot, but *knock on wood* things are settling down now.  You got this!

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