(Closed) Vent

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

well you have 2 weeks to make your choice… can you do this for the rest of your life? is it just because it’s so close to the wedding? i’m sorry you guys are going through this 🙁

Post # 4
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I got so stressed-out I didn’t recognize myself… maybe just take a break from thinking about anything wedding for a couple days?  You’re so close to the wedding day… takek a deep breath and don’t do anything until you’re calm and you’re able to think clearly. 

Post # 5
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m so sorry you feel that way, and even sorryer I have nothing comforting or helpfull to say. I really hope it’s just pre-wedding stress.

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

*hugs*  ive said before that my guy and i never fought until we became engaged and one night i said we wont make it to the wedding if we continue this way.   sit down and talk to him, tell him how you want to remember this time for better reasons other than the bickering – im sure he feels the same way

Post # 7
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When you say you fight about money, what specifically? Someone is overspending? Someone is under earning? Wedding expenses?

Sort this out now and see a financial counselor. Money is often a major factor in divorce. You’re going through wedding burnout. If you can get the money arguments under control your marriage will thank you for it.

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Money is a big factor in a relationship.

Think long and hard and what do all the bickers have in common? Does it boil down to habits and how they affect long term goals?

Before the wedding I would sit and each of you write out your 5 year goals, 10 year goals and so on. And include what you think is a reasonable plan to get there (IE money saved each month)

Then compare and talk. Its really important to be on the same page. Sometimes someone is more free with the spending and not realizing how it can affect a family’s ability to take a vacation or save for retirement. Other times people can be afraid to spend money not realizing that they have wiggle room.

I would do this tomorrow.  You need to make sure you can agree on major things such as money because that is not something that goes away or will just get better. You have to make a plan and work at it.

Post # 9
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ndwilkerson: Well, married or soon to be married, who doesn’t fight about money. No relationship is perfect, it’s up to you and your FH to figure out how you want your marriage to be. You both need to sit down and find a common ground and to start talking things out vs. fighting. When I met my Fiance, he never paid his bills on time, had creditors calling him non stop, and when we became serious we both sat down and talked about how we can get him back on track. He didn’t like where he was financially, so I told him this is what you have to do, and it’s up to you to do it. So that’s what he did. He paid off all of his debts, and has been paying his bills on time ever since. He doesn’t spend money to spend money any more. We both agree that whatever financial decisions we come across we both have to discuss it because if either one of us makes a decision without the other it could really impact us both. Like the saying goes “Behind every good man, there is always a woman” It’s so true. Marriage isn’t always a walk in the park, you’ve gotta do what you can to get through those tough times, and when you do, you will come out stronger than before.

Post # 10
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Take a step back and think about why you love him and want to spend your life with him.

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