(Closed) VENT….

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What to do?
    Change my plans to suit everyone else? : (8 votes)
    31 %
    Be happy with who can make it even if my BF cant? : (13 votes)
    50 %
    Pay for myself so its less for everyone else? : (5 votes)
    19 %
    Suggestions please? : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Are your bridesmaids local? Why not just do a local bachelorette – something more low key. There is no required amount as to how much a bridesmaid should spend for a bachelorette party. Its whatever works for everyone, collectively. My girls couldnt afford a weekend getaway so we stayed local and went to a nice dinner and bar hopping. I had a lot of fun and I dont think anyone spent more than $100 for the weekend.

    Post # 4
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I think it should be something that YOU like and your friend could find a way to come if she really wanted to….

    Post # 5
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Can you dial it back a notch? Why do you have to go to AC? Can you just do a night in the city or do something less expensive? I think it’s a lot to ask your girls to pay for an overnight stay for you and them in AC b/c it’s darn expensive!

    Post # 6
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would never pay anything more then a 100.00 for a bachelorette (unless I was hosting). I had my stagette in Whistler (out of town for me and all my BM’s) and everyone came. My Maid/Matron of Honor planned meals and they split the cost of that, a condo and drinks…it was about 100.00 each and everyone was happy.

    To me though…a bachlorette is just one day. I wanted to be with my friends more then doing something silly and expensive. I would have given up whistler if it meant my friends couldnt come…

    Post # 7
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If you want to do it – do it.  If someone doesn’t want to cough up the money, they don’t have to come!

    If wedding planning has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t please everyone, and you shouldn’t even try.

    Post # 9
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    @BrookeClouser: You sound a little immature. Ya, you are only having 1 bachelorette party. But the rest of your friends have their own lives too. Expecting your friends to all travel for the weekend is a lot to ask. As well as expensive. I think you should choose something more local.

    Post # 10
    575 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Since she has bought a home, her priorities have changed and it is a valid question, but maybe you took it the wrong way?  For my bachorelette party, I’m flying to my friends.  I don’t really expect them to pay a lot for me to party, I will definitely be picking up my part of the tab.  If you do that, I think it will make everyone happy.  If she can’t come, she can’t come and you should be OK with it, too.

    Post # 12
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you need to step back and readjust your priorities. You shouldn’t even be planning your B-party. If you want it in Atlanta City, then you should pick up the costs if your girls can’t. Your Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids are suppose to be planning it within their budget. If the friend who just bought a house is short on cash then she is short on cash. Buying a house is expensive and if she doesn’t want to shit out $500 to go to Atlanta City to get shit faced then so be it. If I were you, I would let them plan something local and something that everyone is comfortable spending. Personally, I would not shell out money for a bridesmaids dress, hair, makeup, gifts for the bride, helping out with the shower, and an expensive weekend getaway on top of everything else. That’s too much.

    The other PP said you sounded immature because it sounds like you are whining that you only get one b-party and your friends should bend over backwards to make it happen for you. To me, it sounds bridezillish. You can have as much fun at a local bar or local casino.

    Post # 13
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    @BrookeClouser: I apologize, I didn’t mean to be so harsh.

    I guess your post hit a nerve-we recently bought a house, and then my SO was laid off. Money is so tight right now and my friends have been giving me a hard time for bailing on things. My friend is trying to put together a girls weekend and I feel horrible that I can’t go. Even though theyre trying to keep costs down, it just isnt possible. So when I read your line about “I know everyone is tight-but I only have ONE bachelorette party”, it just hit a nerve.

    It sounds like your other friends want to go, so I would say just plan the party and hope that your best friend can make it.

    Post # 14
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    It’s not fair to ask your bridesmaids to set aside their financial priorities because you’re having a bachelorette party. I have a child and a tight budget. I’d want to know how much a bachelorette party was going to cost before I committed. Why is other people having financial obligations some kind of shock? What does her recently purchasing a home have anything to do with it?

    Post # 16
    2 posts
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If you still want to go to AC, then you should go.  But, I think you should also give your friend an out…if she can’t afford to go let her know you understand why she can’t make it, eventhough you’d love for her to be there.  You have to find a way to have fun and enjoy the celebration no matter what.  Unfortunately, not all my bridesmaids will be able to make it to mine, they live far away, and the expense is just too much, especially when they are already buying dresses and shoes, plane tickets and hotels, hair and nails, etc for my wedding day.  I’d love to have that time with them but I understand why they can’t come and I’m not going to let it spoil my party.  My friends that can come will be there and we’ll have a great time together – and it’ll make me feel better knowing I’m not putting anyone out.  And, for the ones that can’t make it, I plan going out 2 days before the wedding somewhere local for dinner and drinks, nothing major – just as a chance to get together.  Hope it works out for and your girls…and remember nothing in wedding planning goes *exactly* as planned – just roll with it and remember to enjoy the moments!

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