(Closed) Vent about Best Friend not in touch now when she should be

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have two thoughts about this…first of all, I want to acknowledge how challenging this situation sounds…it sounds like it’s hard to not be able to rely on her in the same ways you used to be able to.  I’d imagine that can be upsetting and hurtful, and can really feel like a big loss.  And with that being said, considering the little bit I know of your friend’s situation, you may have to realize that your friendship is not going to be the same as it was. 

Not to invalidate your feelings in ANY way, as they are totally valid, I want to take your friend’s perspective just for a sec.  I’ve worked with highly emotionally disturbed kids, (kids with psychiatric diagnoses, kids with severe problems, etc) and I’ve worked with their families.  If you have a child with a psychiatric diagnosis, the role of a parent is intensified, like, a lot.  I can’t fully speak from experience, as I am not a parent, though having worked with the families of psychiatrically ill kids, it’s not so easy to disregard the needs of the child, even if there are important situations that arise.  For example, her missing your granddaugthers’ baptism becaus she couldn’t get her daughter into the car is probably more than that.  With a high needs child, this could mean an hour of trying to get the child comfortable, then needing to exert HIGH levels of energy to keep them comfortable for 4.5 hours (and face it that’s a long trip for ANY five year old).  And then there’s the ceremony to sit through. 

I guess the point of me saying all this is that your friend has a lot on her plate right now, and unfortunately it sounds like she can no longer be the friend she used to be because her circumstances have changed.  It’s no doubt not at all a reflection on you, but moreso a reflection of the extra hours and challenges that go into being the parent of a high needs child. 

I’d say there’s nothing wrong with calling her to find out if she can attend the wedding.  Though don’t be surprised if she says she can’t because of her daughter, and please, try not to take it to heart, as it really is most likely about her special circumstances. 

The topic ‘Vent about Best Friend not in touch now when she should be’ is closed to new replies.

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