(Closed) Vent About Long Engagements

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

*high five* totally agree!

Post # 4
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

People just need to keep their noses in their own business – how ridiculous! That’s like saying the same thing about couples that date for several years. I completely 100% agree with you btw! Ours is a year and a half and we get “why so long?” Ugh.

Post # 5
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You are doing the right thing by waiting a bit longer and paying in cash! People sometimes just don’t understand  what a bad cycle it is to start your lives together with not only debt, but then interest charges as well! No thank you!

PS- facebook is so annoying like that! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow…you know what they say about people that “assume” anything.  That is just a stupid comment to make.  (was this comment made by a friend of yours?)  It would be just as bad as someone saying “Why are you having such a short engagement, afraid he will end up changing his mind?”

We had a 2 year engagement…reason being that we wanted to pay for the entire wedding in cash and needed that amount of time to save up enough.  Period. 

Post # 7
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I totally agree! We are in the same boat!

Post # 8
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Our engagement was close to two years, and we just needed extra time to make sure we could pay for the wedding in full ourselves and to plan the whole thing, since we were on a tight budget and couldn’t afford help like DOC, etc… It’s okay to have a long engagement! It doesn’t make you any less likely to be committed to one another.

Post # 10
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I do agree that there are a lot of factors in having a long engagement and I think that there are some good reasons for doing so. Saving up money, waiting for a particular date, waiting for graduation or something. It’s better to wait then to end up in debt.

I do however know people that get engaged and never set a date or try to do any planning or anything. That I don’t understand. I know somebody that has been engaged for 3 years with no date set and no plans at all. A long engagement in that case I don’t think makes sense. I feel like they just got engaged to be engaged.

Post # 11
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We were engaged in April of 09 and didn’t get married until December of 10.  We paid for everything ourselves in cash–and let me tell ya, that money did not appear on its own ๐Ÿ˜‰  Admittedly, a lot of that time was going back and forth of exactly WHAT we were going to do for the wedding, because we didn’t start actively saving until probably Jan/Feb of 10…but we also were not in a hurry & were definitely not “evaluating” if we wanted to be together.  Isn’t that decision made when you get engaged??????

Post # 12
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You poor thing, I guess it goes along with people saying to me every other day before we got engaged….you’ve been together 3 years, wow? So, are you going to get married, why hasn’t he proposed? don’t you want a family…blah blah blah…

We got engaged after 3 years together, and now we are having a very short engagement, 6 months…I wouldn’t suggest to anyone, I feel like a chicken running around with her head cut off, an elopement sounds better and better every day…. to all those people who feel the need to voice their opinions about your relationship, just turn it around on them, Soooo you and Uncle Tom have been married for years, huh….does it bother you he has that HUGE playboy collection in the game room? It’s weird how he’s so nice to Aunt Sally, he really has a special place in his heart for her Cool

Post # 13
48 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hear you girl!!  By the time we get married, we will have been engaged for one month shy of two years.  I have heard all of the same things, but I am just like you and we are paying for our own wedding!  To top it off, my fiance’s brother and his sister both got engaged after us, and are both getting married before us!! 

And the comments haven’t stopped–from the rudeness about long engagements, to the attitude about my outdoor ceremony–I almost want to elope right now and get out of dodge ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I def agree!! Our long engagement isn’t bc we’re not sure if we’re ready to get married, its for financial reasons. We are also very independent, Fiance has a son & we have a daughter together. A lot of responsibilities, so we’re saving slowly we’re paying everything in cash.

Post # 15
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have heard some snide comments about long engagements as well.  People have asked me why even bother waiting.  They obviously don’t understand that we want to take our time for several reasons:

  • We’re paying for the money
  • We don’t want to be stressed and fight over the wedding
  • We want time to plan
  • My Maid/Matron of Honor and I plan to do a lot of DIY projects


It’s none of their business as to why we want to wait.  I am currently staying with J and his parents (we’re working on getting our apartment soon) and she even said that if we wanted to, we could get married in the courthouse and keep it hush-hush then do the big wedding for in October 2012.  This has crossed my mind, but I like the excitement of waiting for the big day as well.  So, we shall see how things works out.

Pay no attention to the nay-sayers and debbie downers.  The economy right now is no help or in any shape to get 100% better by the time we do plan to get married.  Focus on you, your plans, and what lies ahead.  As my mother told me yesterday, you’re going to be so glad you waited awhile to get married because it’s nothing but stress.  It’s worth taking your time and making it absolutely perfect.

Post # 16
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 1999

@DisneyBride2Bee:Totally agree!

Engaged at 6.5 years together.

Now at 7+ years together.

Thinking about the wedding in 10 years (2013).

We want to save up and buy a house and have the wedding there instead.

No one should have to justify wedding plans or relationship status to anyone else!


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