Post # 1
There is really no reason for me venting about this, except that I feel a need to just say it.
I really can’t stand it when people complain about all the “bad” things about wedding they went to, complaining about petty little things like the chicken was cold or the brides makeup didn’t look right… anyway, the reason is because I have the belief that you invite people to your wedding to have them celebrate your marriage with you – you invite them because they’re a special part of your life and you want them to take part in this journey with you…
and if they just want to come and complain, why should they come at all? I can’t stand it when I hear people complain about other people’s weddings. I may not be the richest person in the world and so I’m trying not to worry about what people will say about my wedding, because I’m sure to some people there will be crazy things.
anyway… does anyone else feel like that? I just think that the special meaning of having a wedding and inviting your friends and family has somehow been lost…
Post # 3
Yeah, this is a big reason why we’re having a very small ceremony. I’m inviting the people who won’t be critical of me on my special day, who love and support me and my fiance! People who agree that alcohol or appetizers aren’t necessary to create a great union between two loving individuals. I really try not to be critical of other people’s choices in their event 🙂
Post # 4
Ya I agree – Similarly to Beekiss this is one of the reasons we are having a small wedding. We only really want the people who are REALLY important to us there!
Post # 5
Even though it’s nice to have a wedding with special touches, I totally agree that the day should be about the people, and the celebration of you and the love of your life joining your lives together. For me, I am only getting picky about the stationery and whatnot, because I am a graphic designer and so I take pride in that stuff. It’s just a way I express myself haha. But at the end of the day, even if I design the coolest invitations and place cards and programs, no one will even remember because they will all be tossed after the wedding!
And I’m okay with that! Because I really hope that by the end of the night everyone will have had a great time socializing with each other, seeing old friends and dancing! *crosses fingers*
Post # 6
OMG. I can’t agree more. My dad’s family (primarily his one sister) are very competative when it comes to weddings. I am still trying to figure out how you can make a wedding a competative sport???
Two of my cousins got married in the same year a while back. One in August and the other September. My aunt actually came over to our table during dinner to talk about how her son’s wedding was going to be so much nicer. She kept saying how the food was terrible and the the decor and blah blah blah blah. It was insane!
Post # 7
haha oh my gosh I totally hate that @gvsusara, I don’t understand the competition either. And I hate how it divides friendships simply because your friends aren’t engaged when you get engaged.. umm yeah?
@lindsaylee – oh no I have several special touches in my wedding, I’m still trying to make it beautiful and “me”, making a lot of DIY projects etc. I still think weddings should be done how you want them to be done, I just don’t like the idea of everyone judging it simply because it’s not their taste
@beekiss, yeah my fi and I are trying to make it at small as possible. I think we’ll have about or a little under 100 people. I tried to keep the guestlist to those people who are closest to us, but I don’t know anyone on his side of the family, haha, so I don’t know what to expect!
Post # 8
I have had several friends get married in the last year and a couple who will in the coming months I get this totaly! Here are a few of my “favorites”
One of the mom’s found out I was engaged ..She informed me that I shouldn’t feel bad if my wedding was not as nice as her duaghters!!
One of thie girls got engaged after me and said that when she gets married her dress would’nt be as plain as mine
When asking one girl who her photographer was I was told,” I don’t think you could afford him”…just to find out from a family friend of hers that didn’t want my photos to compete with hers since they get posted up on his website!
And I think the worst of all is the fact the my future brother in law got married last year(love him to pieces!) And his mother wont’ stop saying”Well at Matt’s wedding we did this, or why aren’t you doing this like matt”.
Post # 9
haha oh my gosh @girlbrat, that’s awful! How did you stand people saying those kinds of things?!
Post # 10
Smile, Nod and realize how lucky I am that I am not the one marrying them!
Post # 11
miss-spunkin agree, except I don’t think it’s “been lost” I think if you look back at letters going as far back as letters existed you’ll see evidence of people judgement weddings. Some people will and some people won’t, it’s just human I think. Any large meaningul party will attract the competitors and judgers. I know that not all of my guests will like my wedding and some will complain but eh, I think they are unhappier people than I am.
Post # 12
People judge things every day, so I don’t think it’s going to magically stop for anyone’s wedding. I agree it’s bad form to make petty comments to the bride or openly at the wedding itself. But that’s probably half the purpose of the comments on sites like WB – so that these opinions can be expressed in some way without actually hurting the feelings of anyone involved in the wedding.
Post # 13
You know, it’s funny, but the only place where I have heard people comment negatively on weddings is on wedding forums and websites- maybe because we are all in the planning stages and looking critically at our own choices. I’ve never been to a wedding and heard negative comments from anyone.
Post # 14
I think the more of a production people make out of their wedding, the more people will be judgy about it. An intimate wedding with 50 of the closest fam and friends will have less judgment than a 300 person affair with all the bells and whistles because those weddings are showier and more in your face with the amount of choices and details that go into it. That being said, anyone that vocally comments to guests at the wedding or to the bride and groom is an asshat.
Post # 15
People complain about weddings because they made an effort to attend an event planned by someone else and their own comfort is at stake. I agree that complaints about the brides makeup are just petty, but I think it’s OK to complain that you waited 6 hours to be fed while standing in the cold. You are away from home, out of your comfort zone and everything is out of your control. There’s really only a certain amount of leeway couples can get away with when inconveniencing guests.
I was 26 in a serious relationship (with FI!) and invited to a cousins wedding without a plus-one and seated at the kids table. After traveling 4 hours each way, paying out the nose for a hotel room and spending all night at the kids table I think I’m allowed to complain.
Post # 16
OMG, I agree completely. Even moreso now than ever since I’m planning our wedding.
My cousin did a big rehearsal dinner the night before her wedding. Since they really, really wanted to include everyone in the dinner, they kept the food very simple and affordable (sandwiches, a variety of salads, etc). My older cousins complained for AGES about the food. She made the choice to do simple food so that she could include everyone, including THEM so I didn’t feel like they should be so bratty.