- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2016
I appologize in advance for the length! I have a lot to get off my chest.
A little backstory: I loathe my Future Mother-In-Law for the way she has treated my Fiance and myself in the 4 almost 5 years we have been together. She told him he couldn’t come home from college on the weekends anymore because his stepfather didn’t want him there. Last year, she packed the entire family up and took them to New York to visit extended family for Thanksgiving but my Fiance wasn’t invited because he had to house sit for her. Over the summer, she called him while he was at work and told him he needed to come get his stuff out of his room and from storage. She told him it had to be out by the next day at 6. So, he moved out and into his grandparents house. Also, my Fiance had severe liver issues. I attended every doctors appointment with him because he asked me to. (His mother works as a medical assistant at his family doctor). During a check up, she entered the room and told the doctor we were seeing that her son “was still a virgin. At least thats what they say”. I WAS HUMILIATED. Then, we went on vacation to Graceland (I’m an Elvis fan). She called him and told him not to knock me up. Uhm, EXCUSE ME, pretty sure that what we do is not her business.
My Future Mother-In-Law hates me. No surprise there. But, I hate what it is doing to my relationship with my Fiance.
He is a good man but really hates conflict. If he thinks he will hurt someone’s feelings by doing or saying something, he will just about break down. I love that he is so caring and compassionate but sometimes I could just scream.
We just got engaged on September 2nd of this year. It was a big surprise for me because we are still in college (but are graduating in May of 2016) and we hadn’t really discussed getting married yet. Nevertheless, I WAS SO EXCITED! I have been in love with this man basically my entire life, so I was thrilled and of course said yes. (We got together our senior year of high school but have been friends snice 8th grade). And thats when it began.
First, she was NOT pleasant when my Fiance told her about our engagement. Her exact response was “well thats great but when you have your baby don’t forget that I was a good mom.” Uhm, no. I’m not pregnant and even if I was how rude?!
Next, she was unhappy that I didn’t ask his sisters to be my bridesmaids so she called him and cried and complained that his family was being left out. My Fiance and I agreed that we wanted a small wedding, not an elaborate affair. I chose to use my two sisters and he chose his brother and my brother. Small was the goal.
She stopped by his grandparents house (where my Fiance lives) and pretended that she didn’t know my Fiance. She told him she should have swallowed him. Can we just talk about how inappropriate and disgusting that is?
My FI’s younger sisters go to the same high school as my younger sister. Both of our sisters are in choir and had a fall concert recently. I attended with my entire family. I didn’t see my Future Mother-In-Law there because I was busy watching my sister. The next day she message my Fiance on facebook and told him that I was rude to her and his sisters. She told him that they would be moving soon and she was counting on him to take care of his siblings. (Again, uhm, no).
All of this stress has really taken a toll on my Fiance. I know that he doesn’t want to hurt his mother’s feelings and I respect that. But, what about our feelings?
I know it is only going to get worse. But, how would you handle a situation like this? Any advice, Bees?