(Closed) vent, am i overreacting

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@ejbri:  First of all, I don’t think you’re overreacting. I would definitely be upset with my husband (even when he was my boyfriend…probably more when he was my boyfriend, actually) paired up with another girl to this dinner party thing. That’s a couples thing. I’m sorry you’re going through this =( definitely stop texting him and wait until you guys can have a serious talk face to face. You know?

Post # 5
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

you are definitely not overreacting, i would be upset too!

Post # 6
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@ejbri:  Yes, it should definitely be the other girl joining you guys…. Grr, I’m mad at him for you! lol

Post # 8
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@ejbri:  Not overreacting at all!! I would seriously be upset. That is so thoughtless!!!

Post # 10
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You have been together 2.5 years and pairing up with another girl for a dinner party dish is even a option?  WTF is that about?  I’d be pissed he wasn’t making spending at least some quality time with me during the weekend a priority.  Maybe try distancing yourself a little?  I’d focus on myself for a while, but not before I made it clear how completely uncool I thought this all was.  I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 12
Member
8361 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t know -I think you are overreacting. You changed your mind aout going to the party and since he didn’t know that he had already made plans. I don’t think you can be angry with him because you changed your mind.

As for him working witht he other girl- well what is actually wrong with that? Why can’t he work with another person and why can’t you for that matter? I mean will the world stop spinning if you work with different people? Will your relationship and feelings for each other spontaneously disapper? Shouldn;t it be about having a fun night with friends?

As for the help with uni stuff- well maybe he misunderstood or maybe he thinks you should complete your uni course work yourself? It is unfair that he promised to help but backed out but is it really the end of the world or something you need to fight about?

And you will only be “stuck at home” tomight because of yourself and not because of anything he does or say. You are both adults and were both invited to the party. Go if you want to but don’t blame your Boyfriend or Best Friend if you choose not to attend.

Post # 13
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

NOT overreacting. He is being a douche.

Post # 14
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

DONT TEXT ANYMORE!!!!! It’s seriously the worst way to communicate. It’s so easy to say hurtful things you would never ever ever say in person, and take things in ways inflection or expression would have solved. I think you are right to be hurt, but I also think you should keep your cool about it. If you lose it you’ll just end up looking more needy/clingy or whatever than you are. If you are too mad to see him, do something fun that’s totally focusing on you this weekend, like see movies you want, go to the spa, go out with girlfriends, whatever, then talk to him once the weekend has passed, or next time you see him in person. But I do think it’s messed up for him to pair up with another girl for the cooking thing. Srsly. wtf dude? 

I’d say this sittuation is 60% obliviousness, 30% selfishness/lack of regard for you, and 10% duchey-ness. I think it’s entirely possible he has no idea what a huge duche he is being. 

Post # 15
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Oh, excuse my spelling. Apparently duche is spelled dOuche 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Not over reacting. I would be pissed also. After 2.5 years, he should be checking with you  (and you with him) when there is any free time in his life to see if there was something you wanted to do- spend time. It is called priority. You should come first- especially when it includes couple things like the pairs pot luck dinner. It’s a given! Sit him down face to face, and hash out WHY you feel the way you feel. It makes you upset that you have to be the one to coordinate your couple time together- and that you don’t come first when weekend plans are forming in his life.

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