(Closed) VENT & Are my expectations unreasonable?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

rusticchic212:  It’s ok to be disappointed, but I think this is a case where work trumps friend’s wedding. As I understand it, running these events is Frank’s fiancee’s job, and it’s a busy time of year. So I’m guessing it costs her too much (in money and perhaps in business reputation) to block out a weekend in peak season. So it’s not just a shift worker asking for Saturday off – it’s central to her entire business.

It would be better if she could find someone else to help so Frank at least could attend the wedding. But in the end, if there’s no one else who can help (or is qualified to help) then perhaps Frank has found the best compromise.

So it’s ok to be disappointed, but don’t be angry at them. I think it’s just one of those things.

Post # 3
Member
6906 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It sounds like the other couple are trying to make the best of a difficult situation. You can’t be in two places at the same time. Don’t ruin a friendship over this.

Post # 4
Member
1795 posts
Buzzing bee

<<we didn’t want to inconvenience anyone! Now that philosophy is biting us in the ass!>>

But it sounds like really, deep down, you did expect people not only to inconvenience themselves, but to actually lose money by putting your wedding ahead of everything else. 

As PP have said, it’s fine to be disappointed, but sometimes life gets in the way of something we’d like to do.  I’m sure they’d probably prefer to be at your wedding partying than working, but self-employed people have to work when they have the opportunity.  If her business is heavily seasonal, then what she makes now has to carry her over on the months when she’s not working. 

Many, maybe not you – but many, would complain if their FI went to a wedding without them when they were working, by saying that their FI should be more loyal to them than to someone else.  Frank is kinda in a no win situation. 

Post # 6
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

rusticchic212:  if she went to the trouble of sending you a gift then she obviously feels bad about not being able to attend your wedding.

Are you being a bit unreasonable in your expectations?  Yes I think you are. I completely agree with the other posters. My FI runs his family’s business and their busiest time of year is during the summer so he constantly has to turn down invitations to events or come really late. Fortunately his friends are very understanding and never give him a hard time.

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