(Closed) VENT: Baby shower for second child…

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think multiple showers are tacky! I guess it must be regional.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@UpstateCait: Ya, that’s really not kosher to me either. That definitely sounds like a gift grab, that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And why are you in charge of inviting other people?! That’s the host’s job! I would conveniently be “busy” that day if I were you. The only only only way that I could think this would even be remotely reasonable was if the child was of the opposite sex of the first one. Then you couldn’t really make due with the clothes you already have. But even at that, my friends have been really great with saving and boxing up clothes by size & gender, and then sharing amongst themselves! Most of my friends have too much because of that system! Have you asked your friend about why she’s having another shower? I’d be interested to hear her reasoning (if it was other than, “I want new stuff”).

Post # 5
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@OttawaBride2011: Have you been to a shower for a second child? I’ve never heard of it here in the GTA. I know girls who have had 2+ showers for the first baby (one friends/one family/work/etc), but I don’t know anyone who’s had one for the second (or any subsequent) child. Just curious to know since we’re relatively close together!

Post # 6
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@bakerella: Lol. Well I don’t have any friends with babies yet, just my sister and she only has one. But in my head, when I think about it, I don’t think it would bother me. Maybe I would feel different if it actually happens to me…

Post # 7
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@UpstateCait: It really depends. I had a baby shower for my first daughter. Her father and I are not together. She is 4 right now. My SO and I want two more of our own and I’m sure his family is going to want to throw the baby shower and enjoy having their first grand child. I’m not going to turn it down because I’ve already been there done that.

Every situation is different. I think if they are super close in age, then a baby shower is pointless and gift grabby. If you have a six year old by the time you have a new baby, then I feel like it’s okay. In my situation I feel like it’s perfectly fine and I will flip off the etiquette police if they try to arrest me. ^_^

Post # 8
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

The multiple shower thing wouldn’t be a big deal for me (I personally think they are totally fine), but I do think the rest of the shower sounds a bit….interesting.

Post # 9
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree baby showers for 2nd baby are not looked upon kindly where I come from. Maybe if the baby is a different gender, for fun and to get a few gender specific things. But definitely not for the same sex as the first and so close together.

Post # 11
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m split on this one. I recently threw a 2nd shower for a friend, whom I met after she had her 1st child… we’re in the same play group. SO, the playgroup had a shower. None of us were at her first shower. In this case, we just really wanted to throw her one… we would have bought her gifts anyway and wanted to get together. 

Most “2nd baby showers” that I’ve heard of or been invited to listed that gifts were optional and not expected. Everyone brought one, but again, we all would have gotten the mom gifts anyway. 

 

Post # 12
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t see the problem with having a 2nd shower…what if it’s a different gender? But I do have a problem with having a shower and not providing snacks/food! That’s not cool..

Post # 13
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Multiple babies showers don’t really bother me. I think every child deserves a celebration. I threw two showers for the same friend and enjoyed planning and hosting both of them. For the second shower, she didn’t register and I made it clear on an insert in the invitation that no gifts were needed but if they wanted to bring something, they could bring diapers in various sizes and bottle liners.

Having said that….I am not really cool with people throwing THEMSELVES a baby shower…that DOES seem gift grabby. However, if someone offers to throw one FOR you…why  not?

Post # 14
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hm. Good points from all the PPs. I hadn’t thought about the child from a previous relationship vs child from new relationship type scenario…. That would be really exciting for the family, very true. 

I don’t think I would go to a second shower formally, but I have no problem buying a congrats gift for mom and the new baby when someone does have a second child. We always give a little outfit or whateve, it’s not like the second child is less special. I just always think of showers as an opportunity for the parents to get some help with the big ticket items like a car seat, high chair, stroller, monitor set, etc.

I guess I could just say that for myself, I wouldn’t want a shower for my second child (not that I even have a first yet! LOL!). Different strokes for different strokes, and I agree, situation dependant.

*As a side note, thanks to the other posters who offered varying opinions/ experiences! I never thought of the things you mentioned. Along the lines of another thread, you guys made me reconsider my viewpoint! Cool!

Post # 15
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am always happy to attend showers for others, even if it is for their second or third child.. I appreciate all that my friends, family and bridesmaids have done for me throughout my engagement, and just want to reflect that back to others.. Seriously, I find myself giving nicer presents to others because people have been so generous with me! True, the details of this shower sound a bit odd, but if you are truly friends with this girl, you will support her, regardless of her neurotic/trashy family. She probably needs you there for support! In the south for a second baby, sometimes there is a “sip and see” where friends and family are invited to come and meet the baby after he or she is born and enjoy some light appetizers and punch or champagne…Instead of having another baby shower for instance.. Hope you’ve gotten some clarity and gotten the frustration out! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s definitely not kosher in my family/circle of friends to have more than one shower unless there are special circumstances like some listed above (different husband, kids years apart, etc.).  I guess I just don’t see the need if you’ve already had one (you’d have everything you need!).  It is customary to buy the new baby some outfits, onsies, blankets, or something small when it’s born, but to have a second shower and to register is definitely considered gift-grabbing. 

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