(Closed) VENT Being a Mother is Superior to Whatever You are Doing

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee

Mommy martyrs are the worst. 

Post # 47
Member
7455 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

There’s a term for people who do that kind of shit….it’s called “mommy-jacking” and I see it ALL the time on Facebook. Moms who like to chime into every post essentially to tell everyone how much harder their life is because they have kids.

Honestly I’d just unfriend her and move on. She’s not likely to change so really you aren’t losing out on much.

Post # 48
Member
385 posts
Helper bee

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anonbee911 :  Gotta be honest here….I was the perfect mother…….and then I had kids. wink Unfriend her and don’t put up with it.

 

Post # 49
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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anonbee911 :  FFS. I would cut this idiot out of my life. She sounds insufferable. And boring.

Post # 50
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’m the least passive-aggressive person on the planet. i would literally say, “hey, K, when you make comment X, it makes non-mothers feel like Y, and when you make comment Z, it makes non-mothers feel like A.” her reaction to you calling her out would be the deciding factor on whether or not to end the friendship. if she persists and still feels she’s in the right, or is defensive, i’d put an end to the friendship, unfortunately.

Post # 51
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To people on this thread who’ve brought up SAHMs vs working moms, there’s nothing to indicate that OP’s friend has said that being a Stay-At-Home Mom mom is harder than being a working mom. She’s “just” saying that being a mom (of any description) is harder than any other job (which of course isn’t true). (And would still be obnoxious to continually post about even if it was).

Post # 52
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee

I’m a mom and stayed at home when my kids were little. Was I exhausted? Hell yah…. but this woman would drive me crazy and I’m not sure I would have even wanted to be friends with her when I also was staying at home. She sounds so smug….. and that would drive me crazy.

 I would let this friendship slide. She sounds terrible!

Post # 53
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

I empathize with you completely. Ugh. Also wanted you to be aware there is a “no kids’ board on the bee here you might appreciate  😉  I don’t know if I will never have kids but I do know I never want to be THAT sort of parent. 

And if you enjoy reading relatable stories you should definitely check out r/childfree on Reddit. Sometimes they go too far but it can be a breath of fresh air if you feel overwhelmed by constant mommy bombardment on FB etc… 

Post # 54
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee

Eurgh I don’t think I could put up with her, that would be really annoying. The thing is there is always someone worse off, more tired etc. But it doesn’t mean you go berating someone like she did. Everyone is allowed to have a moan about being tired etc.

There probably isn’t a lot you can do to change her thoughts, and she clearly can’t resist sharing them even where they aren’t welcome. If it bothers you enough it may be worth calling time on the friendship. 

Post # 55
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee

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anonbee911 :  She reminds me of a girl I have on FB. She complains about being tired and how marriage is a joke, but her kids are her life blah blah blah.

I have still friends on FB with her due to knowing her brother well and not wanting to start a shit storm. So I just unfollowed her updates.

In you’re case time to end the friendship.

Post # 56
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

I’m a career woman and a mother so you can have it both ways. It is hard though but I have never tried to make someone else feel less because of my choices to do both. Your friend needs to stop.

Post # 57
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

This reminds me of my sister. When I graduated with my masters degree and everyone commented on what a great achievement it was, she said that her having her twin daughters was a real achievement. Years later I am still angry at that comment. 

Post # 58
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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winterash :  Love this comment so much! 

Also loving the ‘second hand rage’ and ‘Golden Uterus Syndrome’ phrases, adding these to my vocabulary. 

These sanctimonious women either don’t know or don’t care how hurtful they’re being. I have a family member I love very much who can’t have children. She may end up adopting &/ or being a step parent or may choose to be child-free, but whatever she chooses, to imply that you’re not a complete and whole woman unless you’ve birthed some babies is horrendously insensitive. 

Also, it’s a petty petty woman that needs to put others down to puff her own ego up. How dare she trivialize others accomplishments or choices or act like she has some kind of dibs on being tired, there are all kinds of reasons for being tired, whether it’s juggling too many things at once, working stressful or long hours, health issues, caring for a sick relative or aging parents etc. I’m a mom and love my kids dearly but I don’t use motherhood as a weapon to cut other women down. Shame on  her. 

Post # 59
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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hikingbride :  Tell me about it! And the moms that are loudest about how tough it is to be a mom and how it’s the most important job and such a sacrifice are usually NARCISSISTIC and AUTHORITARIAN. Kids aren’t there to make their mothers feel important or give them a sense of purpose. My mom and aunts were like this woman and it was hard on their kids.

Post # 60
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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msgulin002 :  That’s disgusting. You worked hard for your masters degree and getting pregnant is a breeze. Having kids is not an achievement. Raising them well is certainly an achievement but just popping them out from between your legs, come on. (Yes, obviousl pregnancy and labor and post-partum stuff hurts) but that’s so insufferable.

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