Post # 1
My RSVP deadline is a week away. I got a facebook message last night from my best friend from highschool saying that she can’t come to the wedding because her husband has to work, her dad has to work, and she’s afraid to drive (my ceremony and reception is 2 hrs away from where she lives.) I invited her, her husband, her sister, her mom, and her dad to my wedding. I have been friends with her for 16 years and I am quite close to her and her family.
Her decline to my wedding invitation hurts me because I have always been there for her. I was a bridemaid in her wedding. I traveled 3 hours one way to go to her shower, her bachelorette party, and her wedding.
She has known about my wedding for over a year. I even asked her last summer if she was planning to attend and she said, “yes”. My save the date cards went out 8 months ago.
Her excuses are just that: excuses. And poor ones at that. I know deep down she just doesn’t want to make the effort to go to my wedding. I’m not worth it to her anymore. In fact, she hasn’t gone out of her way to see me since her wedding 5 years ago.
Last night I cried when I got her message, because it puts the nail in the coffin to our long friendship. I wanted to message her back and tell her off but I decided to ignore the message (I haven’t fought with her in over 10 years). My bridal shower is this weekend and my mom told me that she RSVP’d for it. I feel like I’m just going to be angry towards her. Part of me wish she would have declined that invitation as well.
Post # 3
🙁 That’s a sad thing. Does she have problems driving? 2 hours isn’t a long distance to drive (my Fiance and I live an hour away and I don’t even blink at the thought of that drive). Maybe at the shower, if she is there, then you can just let her know how hurt you are that she isn’t able to make it. You could suggest she take a greyhound/some other public transit there? Give her options to make it to see if it’s just the driving or she just doesn’t want to take the time out of her life.
Post # 4
@adnama: She lives in my hometown so it wouldn’t be hard for her to hitch a ride with one of my aunts or cousins. I guess I could suggest that, but what if she says “no” to that?
Post # 5
@kelly105: Well if she says no to that option, then you’ll know that she just can’t take the time to make the effort. At least there’s no confusion on your end about what’s happening. After that all you can realy do is tell her how sad you aren’t she won’t be making your wedding. I hope that she’ll come though!
Post # 6
I’m so sorry you’re feeling sad about this, I can understand it. How about writing her an email explaining how much you miss her friendship and how much her presence at your wedding would mean to you. I know you may feel hesitant about putting your emotions out there to potentially be rejected, but, then again, she may not realize how much it means to you. She should, of course, but if you spell it out to her then no matter what, going forward, you’ll know from that point on you did everything in your power to salvage the friendship. You’ll never have it on your conscience because the ball will be in her court. I wish you all the best!
Post # 7
Umm… not sure what happened there, but the response I had here was for a different post. Thank you dumb netbook. What the donkey.
I feel like if she’s not willing to make the effort to make the 2hr drive to your wedding, she probably won’t do so for the shower. So I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that. It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this.