(Closed) VENT: Dealing with a Groomzilla

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Take a deep breath and walk your man to the counselor since he won’t listen to you at all.  I think you need a neutral party to talk too.  The wedding is not a race and he should feel how much stress you are under.  Stick to your guns and move your date.  i think you will feel a lot better about the whole process.

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

Follow ur heart hun and his sister should of talked to you knowing you got engaged first and make sure the weddings are at least 2 3 months apart.I feel for you I would hate for this to happen to me.

Post # 5
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

We sound alike.  The fact that your Fiance gave an ulitmatum to you and is now pushing and being selfish because ‘he’ just wants to be married makes me nervous for you.  It’s no different than the girls that seem to just want to be married more than they want the person they are with.  If anyone can tell you that they will leave you if you don’t do X for them, I don’t think they love you in an unconditional way and I think they are selfish.  Sorry for being so harsh, but someone that loves you would wait until you are ready.  Whether it’s you being ready to have sex or being ready to get married – either way, if the person respects you and can’t live without you they will wait until you are on board, not threaten and nag you into it.

I think you need to postpone the wedding (stand UP to him) and redefine your relationship.  Good luck to you!

Post # 6
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@luckyprincess: totally agree.  

If you “give” on this, what else will you have to give on?  If he isn’t respecting you, then something needs to happen.  Either marriage counceling or postponing the wedding.  No man who loves you should give you an ultimatum of ANY sort (unless it’s the “hurry up or we’ll be late” type, lol).  

He isn’t taking into consideration YOUR wants or desires.  If this were a bride, we’d all be down on her, I’m sure, for being a total bridezilla and wanting the groom to stand up to her.  Same thing, hun.  

It’ll hurt to have to argue with him.  (been there, done that on other things and yes, there is pain involved, unfortunately.)  But you need to stand up to him, tell him he’s turned a special day that’s supposed be yours AND his into nothing but a childish competition with his sister.  

Good luck and I hope you two can work things out for the best.

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Sounds like you’re not ready to get married.  You commented on his sister’s excitment at getting engaged like it was a bad thing.  Her reaction wasn’t a bad thing, it was a very normal reaction from someone who’s excited to be getting married.  That’s how you should be feeling and reacting when getting engaged, not asking your Fiance to wait a year.

Listen to your gut and do what feels right for you.

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