- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Ah, Fiance and I are coming up on that two-months-left phase before the wedding and I couldn’t be much happier with how planning is going. The invites will be going out this week, the dress is fully altered and in my mother’s possession on the west coast, deposits are paid and the honeymoon is booked and paid for … we are right on schedule.
So as I think back over the planning process and prepare for the stressful ‘now these things actually have to get DONE instead of just being talked about’ phase, I can’t help but think about who has been most helpful and who has been most stress-inducing throughout.
My parents have been a delight. I’m getting married out near Seattle where they live, at a winery they’re members of, so they’re the point of contact with all the vendors at the winery. So they’re organizing the catering, drinks, setup, all that stuff — all I’ve had to do is look at pictures and menus and say “I like this” and “I don’t like that” and it happens. And they’re paying for a huge chunk of the cost. Awesome!
My sister has been a delight. She’s in charge of the flowers, because she genuinely enjoys that stuff so I gave her a budget and some vague idea what I wanted and set her to work. She’s crushing it! And the bridesmaids all have their dresses and there’s no drama (except sister becoming pregnant and probably not fitting into her dress come June, haha. Oh well). All is well.
Even FI’s family have been really great. No drama; offering to help pay for things when they can; emailing back and forth and showing real excitement to travel up to Seattle to see us get married.
You know who’s been making me tear my hair out through this whole process? Fiance HIMSELF!!!! He just can’t seem to stay out of things he either has no business with or claimed not to care about!
You see, he’s not paying for a thing for the wedding itself. He bought my ring, and it is gorgeous (and expensive…), and that’s all the money he’s shelling out. My parents and I are paying for most everything else. Acknowledging this and the fact that I have better taste, he has repeatedly said he’s happy to leave planning to me, my parents and my sister. So why, please tell me, does he sometimes have such strong opinions about things that have nothing to do with him?
Example: I was joking with my one local bridesmaid that my sister and the other bridesmaid in Seattle had bought a different dress from hers. Same color, same fabric, but different dress. I had never really told them they could do that, though I also never told them they couldn’t. So of course I didn’t care in the slightest, and local Bridesmaid or Best Man just says “well then I guess I’m Maid/Matron of Honor if I’m the only one in a different dress!” We laugh, and then along comes Fiance all irritated that the BMs won’t all be matching. What? Since when does the groom have an opinion on Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses??! Dear Fiance, stay in your lane.
Then it’s a conversation about photographers with the Maid/Matron of Honor and Fiance walks up and says “I don’t even know why we need a photographer anyway. Just give everyone cameras and there you go.” Umm, dear Fiance, we’re not throwing a $10k+ wedding without a proper photographer. And when I had previously asked for his help choosing a photographer, he said he didn’t care and trusted my judgment.
Table decorations were next. How much of an opinion will a man who can build cars and guns from piles of metal have about table decorations? Apparently a lot! “I want rounded bowls with blue AND clear marbles in the bottom, with a silk flower submerged in water and a floating candle on top.” When I tried to make something similar to his idea, he got mad that I had only blue marbles instead of blue and clear. When I asked for his help in making exactly what he wanted, he said no because I’m “better at that stuff.”
Honestly he is driving me nuts!!! It’s hard enough to plan a wedding and coordinate with everyone without someone coming in at the last minute and saying they don’t like what you’re doing … especially when that someone is the groom! Of course whenever I ASK him his opinion or if he wants to talk about wedding plans, he rolls his eyes and says he’s happy to leave it to me. And then I get last-minute “I SAID BLUE AND CLEAR AND THESE ARE JUST BLUE! THIS IS MY WEDDING TOO DAMMIT!” blowups.
Anyone else’s Fiance driving them nuts by demanding things be a certain way but then not really wanting to help make it happen? I still love the guy and can’t wait to marry him, but good grief I never knew he could be such a, well, bridezilla!