(Closed) Vent: Dear FI, if you don’t want to help, STOP ‘HELPING’!

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but laugh at this. Men are so ridiculous! I never thought mine to be the type to care about these things. Then when talking about ‘Oh I’d love to have pictures with bridesmaids in navy’ he chimes in with ‘ NO, I don’t like navy’ bull [email protected] you own lots of navy clothes therefore you like it.

Post # 5
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

This is really funny! Sorry to laugh at your pain but I can so relate and it just blows my mind that men are how they area.

My Fiance said from the beginning he couldn’t care less about certain details and yesterday he starts freaking out at the idea of a unity ceremony and then starts complaining about
songs he thinks are “lame” for a bride to walk down the aisle to. Really?!!? Now you have opinions? πŸ˜›

Post # 6
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@PinkFlemingo:  Hahahaha yes! My SO was all “Go ahead and look at engagement rings so I know what you like” I like rose gold. There isn’t much out there so I looked for quite some time. Then he’s like “WTH why haven’t you looked at mens rings? o_0 So I show him some cool mens rings and he’s all pissy that they aren’t in rose gold and fails to understand rose gold is kinda a pink color…Ugh

Next time he starts to butt in w/ wedding stuff ask hiim how one of his parts is coming (I do this to SO when he’s pestering me) lol he’ll probably forget about the wedding.

Post # 8
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m having a similar issue to Fiance.

Fiance wants to be involved and I want him to be involved, but that means that he actually has to do something! He wants to be in charge of the food, which is great, but he hasn’t looked up any caterers or even tought about the kind of menu he wants. So i started emailing some caterers that the venue has worked with before and Fiance got mad.

Fiance: I’m in charge of the food, why are you emailing caterers?

Me: Because you haven’t looked at anyone

Fiance: We have plenty of time!

Me: I asked you to start looking at caterers

Fiance: I will, we have plenty of time!

Which yes we have over a year, but I don’t want to find someone we both love and discover he’s been booked already.


Also there is a comic book artist we love and who we’ve met on a few ocassions. Fiance has her personal e-mail address that she gave him because she wanted him to email a sketch she had done for him.

We want to comission her to draw us for the wedding. We will blow up the print and have everyone sign it and then have it framed instead of using a guest book.

He has yet to email her! She’s a very popular/famous comic book artist. She’s very busy. We can’t wait till a month before the wedding to ask her! If she says no we will have to start lookng for someone else.


Uggh, sometimes I just want to tell Fiance to go away and let me handle everything, lol.



Post # 9
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ha, this is so typical!  Sorry you have to deal with it, but it’s funny at the same time!  I had a slightly different case which resolved itself after he realized what was going on.  From where I see it, the very nature of a wedding makes the girl more involved in the planning and decision making.  I’m the one buying the bridal magazines, I’m the one looking at blogs in all my spare time, I’m the one searching websites for ideas, and as a result, I have a better idea of all the little things that need to get done.  Guys don’t usually do those sorts of things, which I never expected him to do.  So Fiance wants to help, so I give him things here and there to do.  Well he don’t like it seeming like I was tasking him. He thinks it should be 50/50.  Ok, then he can figure out what’s next and needs to be done.  Well he doesn’t know since he’s not the girl who just instinctively knows basic things about wedding planning (I think it’s in our blood!), so doesn’t know where to start.  Ok, so I give him a few things.  He doesn’t want me to tell him what to do because it seems like I’m his boss.  I give up!  How can it be 50/50 if you don’t have a vision for this wedding and don’t know half of the stuff that needs to get done!  Finally, I wrote all the possible things down that needed to be done and he chose which he wanted to do.  He realized after the fact that maybe I was a bit more invested in this than he was so we came to a good comprimise.  I have to say that I am so happy he wants to help and be involved, and there are things that he’s helped with that I couldn’t have done without him, it was just frustrating for a month or two there coming up with the balance that worked for us both!

Post # 10
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my then Fiance suggestion for flowers was i get a bunch of $20 flowers from the corner grocery store and wrap a ribbon around it  *roll eyes*

Post # 12
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

haha I can totally relate!


I delegated the job of finding a band to Fi (now DH) …. a few months went by, nothing happened, so I went ahead and organised it, when I had it whittle down to a final 2 he didnt like either of them! Haha, tough, I booked them anyway….they were excellent by the way!


same with a photographer, he didnt pull the finger out there either (no rush we have plenty of time), by the time I started looking all the good ones were taken! HAHA (ensue argument)


So thinking about it, he did nothing apart from organise his kilt and his groomsmen’s kilt and his half of the guestlist…(i wasnt going to be chasing up addresses or rsvps from people that I didnt know and couldnt accound for) …. one of his college mates (and  wife) turned up on the day and there was no room for them at any table for the sit down meal and wine as Darling Husband forgot they sent an RSVP! hahaha


But he was SO opinionated about everything, I was really surprised!


He’s the most wonderful husband though- πŸ˜€

Post # 13
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@PinkFlemingo:  “Why do we need a fancy guest book pen? This Holiday Inn pen here was free and it works great.”

Oh, that’s FANTASTIC! We’re doing guest cards at every table, vs. a guest book. Future Mother-In-Law wrote me- “I have some odds and ends of pens in orange and green.  They have advertising on them, but, would you want them on the tables?”

I know we’re looking at ways to save money, but seriously, I think we can afford $15 worth of pens from Staples. :)-

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