(Closed) VENT – DH and Credit Card – Semi Long

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee

That is actually ridiculous, you Darling Husband is a grown man and should know to take his credit seriously. With that said, I think it would be best if you just took control of that card since he can’t seem to remember he has it in the first place. 

Post # 5
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That sounds like my brother except that he’s been irresponsible his whole life. Well maybe not irresponsible but he lives in his own world. 

That’s just annoying, hopefully he learned his lesson. 

Post # 6
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow didnt he ever have a credit card in Canada? I really dont see how this is your fault. Getting a credit card is a good way to build up credit, so it was a good suggestion on your part, he has no one to blame for forgetting to pay the bill.  I think he should sign up for online bill pay and that way you log in to check on it too.

Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Its time to take full frontal assault on his credit card score!

He doesnt have a long history so start building that and since its a small chunk of change to pay off, oay it off. You may be surprised with how quick he can begin to fix it.

As ohers have said set him up on automatic payment. Yes he is an adult and should have done this, but it does effect you. Have some bill automatically be paid and then the CC paid everymonth. Then tell him to use it for gas and set him up with email alerts to log on and pay it.

After a few months, if you own a car free and clear, have him get a small title loan on the car. (even if you just sock the money away for 6 months then pay the balance off then) (most banks provide them) 

And then a year from now tell the bank you want to build his credit and that you want a secured loan, but are willing to pay the cost of a personal loan. Make it small, and again sock the money away and use that to pay it off. You will have to pay % on interest, but it will be worth the good credit score.

Post # 8
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

While the bad credit sucks, I would be more concerned about the lack of a US driver’s license.

If he is a resident in the US, but does not have a US license, then technically, he is driving around without a valid license. The Canadian license does not count if his primary residence is in the US. If he gets into an accident, that might cause a lot of problems.

Post # 9
Member
14440 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Holy crap.  I’m shocked at how careless he could be.. sorry I have no advice, just sorry you have to deal with it.  Hopefully his credit can be fixed quickly. 

Post # 11
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@AprilJo2011: this! I’m not sure about the States, but in Canada you have 30 days OR permanent residency (whichever comes first) to change your licence over before it’s rendered invalid, along with your insurance.

I can see how it is really difficult for him to start over in the States, especially when he is already so established in Canada and still has major ties there.

His carelessness and unwillingness to commit to his life in the States though suggests to me he doesn’t see the US as his perm home. I could be totally off here, but I was the exact same way when I moved countries. I kept everything Canadian in case I changed my mind and moved home. It wasn’t until I really realised where I was making ‘my home’ that I started changing my documents and closing down bank accounts, etc. Do you have any plans to move to Canada? If you have decided that the US is going to be your home, I would suggest having a serious talk to him (if you haven’t already) about what he sees for your future.

Post # 12
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@peacheslea:  I thought the same thing… maybe he’s not committed to living in the US? 

I hear him on the frustration of starting over with the banks, but how serious is he about building a life in the states?  I’m so sorry about the credit card!  God, that has to be infuriating!

Post # 14
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@CanAmBride:  He sounds like a solid guy in every other way, so being passive-aggresive about the credit card is just temporary insanity…lol  Especially with his “old life” only 15 minutes away!  A 140 dollar sandwich bites the big one (ha) but I’m betting he won’t continue the behavior.  PP advice about paying it off and setting up automatic payments (which you handle until he adjusts to life with us Americans) sounds practical.  Hang in there!! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

All he can do now is pay it off and start over. This time make sure he pays his bills!

Post # 16
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I suppose coming from someone who relocated, it does get better. The English way of doing things is absolutely CRAP compared to Canada. Apparently customer service does not exist in this country at all … (one of many many MANY things that I think is ‘wrong’ with England).

But you get used to it. My poor Darling Husband put up with months and months of me ranting and venting about how ‘stupid’ this country was, and how everything is so much simpler/easier/nicer in Canada. Although I do bring it out every now and again, I have gotten a lot better! I can’t tell you exactly what it was that clicked or when it was, but in order to live a functional life without constantly getting angry and up in arms about everything I just had to learn to NOT compare the two, and get on with my new life 

Hopefully your Darling Husband will have that revelation soon … although it might be a bit trickier since the cut isn’t as clear and defined as if he moved completely to a new country.

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