- 6 years ago
New to weddingbee but not new to the whole waiting game.
I have been with my SO nearly 7 years ( July ). I have know for nearly the past two years he has an engagement ring.
Story: July 2010 we went to Europe , had a great time till we arrived in Rome. He was feeling quite down and after a heated arguement in the streets of Rome he told me he was going to propose on this holiday but it didn’t feel right.
I can’t explain what I felt only that my heart felt like it literally was breaking in two.
Then we arrived in Paris ( where I have always wanted to go and believed he would propose). We went on a river cruise on the Seine? and he was constantly checking his pocket to make sure there was something still in there. Me being he paranoid person , thinking he was going to propose – turned out it was only his new cell phone that he was worried about!!
Another arguement arose and he let it slip that he has actually bought a ring in the suitcase with him also. In Paris of all the places!!
Fast track to getting back to Australia – my family called me the day I arrived home asking if I had anything exciting to tell them. I bawled like a baby and said I had to call them back.
I called them back after I had calmed down , my dad was livid that my SO had done that on a trip I had waited so long for and my mum was upset that I was upset!!
To this day he still has not told his family what has happened and I have to play happy families if they ask questions about marriage / kids etc.
We have gone to couples counseling where the counsilor? told me it was my fault as I do seem willing to wait for him when he is ready?
I feel quite angry and bitter about this as I was the one who got told by my SO that “he didn’t feel right” to propose. It makes me feel like I’m worthless and that he is trying to string me along till he figures out what he wants to do with me/us.
NO I haven’t looked for the ring but here is an interesting thing. A week ago I found a diamond valuation certificate in our room on the floor – I just handed it back to him saying I found something of his on the floor and he said nothing and put it back in his bedside drawer.
I am going nuts about this! I feel better that I can get your opinions on this as both my family and friends are divided as to what should I do. Wait or leave.
I have to admit I am getting quite stressed about this and feel if I can’t get any better I should leave , but I love him. We don’t argue about anything else but this.
He keeps telling me to be patient as he is not ready. But didn’t he have to be ready to buy a ring two years ago?
I am really sorry for the long vent – my birthday is coming up soon and he keeps asking me what I want. To be honest the only thing I want is an engagement ring but obviously I cant ask for that!! So I just say a nice day out for lunch and a cooked dinner will be fine – but he keeps saying he would like to treat me like a princess?
Just confused. Sad. Upset. Down.
Hope some of you ‘bees’ out there can give me advice?