(Closed) Vent – Don’t Need to Read – Please just deal with me

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@TheFutureMcBride: Oh I’m so sorry, I just teared up reading your post! 🙁 I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you to hear about all of your friends pregnancies. Is there some kind of support group you can join? It seems like somehting you should talk about with others who understand.

Post # 4
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine how tough it would be to suffer that loss.

And I’m sure nobody expects you to feign excitement for them and totally understand why you can’t.

My ex’s wife lost her baby when she she was about 8.5 months pregnant. I guess the umbilical cord wrapped itself around her neck and she didn’t make it.

She was devastated. She was friends with another girl who was pregnant at the same time. They went through everything together. And their friendship suffered greatly after the baby’s death. How could it not? One girl had a perfectly healthy baby. The other had an unexpected death.

Don’t beat yourself up. Explain to your husband that you don’t want to hear "we’ll have another one", that you need him to allow you to mourn the loss of your baby.

Are you seeing a therapist or going to any support groups? If not, you should. I think it would help.


Post # 5
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am so sorry about your loss. I think sometimes it can be hard for partners to understand how you are feeling or to express it properly. I think you should sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel and let him  that sometimes you just want to whine and be cared for. It can be really hard to act strong all the time, we all need that time to not have our guard up.

I hope things get better for you and that you can find the support you need!



Post # 7
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Hugs!  I have never experienced a loss like yours.  But, I do know what it is like to live with a husband who wants to fix things (i.e. say things he thinks will make me feel better) instead of knowing when to just listen, sympathize with my pain and affirm his love for me.  Hang in there!

Post # 8
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Being an angel mom myself, I completely understand. No one will ever completly understand the relationship you had with Moose. You were the only one who knew him. I wish I could reach out and hug you as there are no words of comfort that will help. For now I will send you hugs and good thoughts and prayers. If you ever need to talk you are more than welcome to PM me.

Post # 9
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Poor FutureMcBride. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry you are sad and heartbroken. I am so sorry you don’t have anyone you feel like you can talk to about it. It’s OK to be sad. It’s ok to not be able to be happy for someone right now. I know the hive isn’t there to give  you a hug when you need it, but we are here for you. I’m sure your husband doesn’t mean to diminish your feelings, and that he is dealing with his loss differently and trying to put it behind him.

Post # 10
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@TheFutureMcBride: The only difference is I have to go into our next pregnancy knowing the exact same thing can happen again because there was no reason for Moose’s death.

If it’s at all of any comfort to you…the person I posted about above (the wife of an ex) just recently gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

From what I understand, she kind of hibernated during the last few months of the pregnancy and they didn’t tell anyone other than their immediate families that she was pregnant until the baby was born.

I hope that your pain gets a little duller each day. Hang in there…

Post # 11
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - University of Toronto Faculty Club

I am so sorry you went through that.  How completely and totally devastating.  I can’t imagine how painful that must have been.  I don’t have any great advice, but wanted to let you know that you’re in my thoughts.

Post # 13
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hugs and prayers to you FutureMrsMcBride.

Post # 14
2455 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@TheFutureMcBride: I’m am so sorry for you and you have all of my sympathy.  What you went through has been something that has weighed so much on my mind lately.  I wish I could send you all the warm happy hugs in the world.  I am not a mom, so I can’t say that I understand what you are feeling and offer you any kind of solice….but I just want you to know that I am truly sorry. 

Post # 15
1221 posts
Bumble bee

So sorry for your loss words cannot explain 🙁

I’m sorry you went thru that and i think if you talk to your husband about not liking the saying ” we will have another one” he will understand.. 🙁


Post # 16
15689 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Of course Moose was real to you! I’m so sorry that the others in your life have trouble understanding that. And I’m sure your husband doesn’t mean to be insensitive about it—I’m sure he really just wants to lift your spirits. Bless you!

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