Post # 1
So, the boards are a bit heated today (which is fine, IMO), but it seems like a lot of us are tired, stressed, and generally annoyed. The holidays will do that to you. As we near the end of this *joyful* season, I know I am cranky, short of patience, and feeling icky.
So, let’s have some fun with it. Have something you wish you could say to someone? Something you wish you could hide under the covers from? Something that is really annoying you? Let it out.
1… 2… 3… Vent!
Post # 3
Dear office mates: Our office party sucks. Instead of being cheap and ordering pizza, can we spring for something exciting? Say, Chinese food? And while we are all here, could you attempt to make non-work-related conversation?
Dear husband: It’s awesome that you have been working so hard lately. But Christmas is every December 25th, and I always give you a list of things I would like to receive as gifts. Don’t start whining on December 20th that you have no idea what to give me, and that the malls are so crowded.
Dear customers in line at the Post Office: Just because I am huge procrastinator, why do you have to be, too? Can’t we just have time slots, like the rides at Disney Land?
Post # 4
Dear drivers: Must you drive like complete lunatics in the parking lot? Really people? You’re acting like it’s Black Friday and you need to get in line for a free plasma TV, not 1PM on a Monday afternoon. I’m sure those gift cards you need to get at Target will still be there when you get there.
Dear husband: I love you dearly but please don’t wait till the last minute to get stocking gifts and then whine and complain about how crowded the malls are.
Dear postal service: It’s Christmastime…please don’t have just ONE employee working the entire place. I don’t have 2 1/2 hours to spend in line.
Post # 5
dear school: why must you always give me finals on my birthday ( dec 21) i really would like to relax. but no i have to study.
Fi: please stop procrastinating until the last minute. I know that my birthday and christmas are 4 days apart. so shopping will never be easy for you. sorry.
cousin and aunt: please stop posting stuff on facebook about the baby. Yes I am happy that it will be a boy. But I really shouldn’t find out ove facebook. A call on the phone would have been great. 🙂
cat: please stop meowing from 3-5 in the morning. I love you but I can’;t take it.
ok. I think I’m good now. 🙂
Post # 6
dear 1st boss – please stop blaming me for random things that I have absolutely nothing to do with or for projects I don’t even work on. no one believes you and everyone tells me when you do it.
dear 2nd boss – please stop putting me in the middle of your battle with 1st boss.
dear 3rd boss – please put a stop to the battle between boss 1 & boss 2.
Post # 7
dear drivers, please if there is a 1/4 of an inch of snow on the ground must we drive like it’s 4feet? if so, could you just call out and stay home, it’s toooo deep for you!
SO …. STOP PURCHASING things for YOURSELF dammit … i’m not taking anything back YOU CAN.
dear department … yes the “deli tray” will never get eaten if you let the guy that picks his nose put it together.
finally dearest family could you all stop banning each other from each others house… and not ban anyone from mine? so that I am required to have CHRISTMAS at my house when SO’s plane gets in that morning …. seriously his plane lands at 11 and you all want to be there at noon? NO! SUCK IT .. dinner will be at my convenience you can sit outside til 3pm.
Post # 8
@artwyopie: My bday is 4 days after Christmas! Is yours 4 days before or after?
Post # 9
I so need one of these…
Dear ILs: We have a life and responsibilities. It is not feasible to be driving hours one way in one day to see everyone and the dog can not walk and feed herself while we are doing so. FIL–it’s not our fault that you want to run off with your girlfriend every holiday so we aren’t going to rearrange our life to suit you. Get over it.
Dear Drivers: It’s SNOW. You have seen it before, and it’s just a dusting. Please resume doing 60. Thank you.
Dear Cousin: We know you love your on again off again you can’t make up your mind boyfriend. Stop ending every status update with it. Also, not a good idea to talk about the hotel room you got for the weekend when you’ve decided to friend your dad, two aunts and an uncle.
Post # 10
Dear boss: Just as an FYI, you should come actually talk to your associates occasionally instead of hiding behind your computer and sending snarky messages to everyone. Also, fire emails $%^&*^% suck @$$. No one likes them and it’s a huge de-motivator. When you include the fire icon, I totally get up and walk away from my desk and go get water or soda or whatever. Just. to. piss. you. off. And btw, everyone got everyone gifts except you. You didn’t even thank most of us for your gifts. I hope you don’t move floors with the rest of the team, I couldn’t deal with having you on the same floor as me.
Dear honey: I understand that you’re hurting but I want to be there for you. Don’t push me away, even if you’re not ready to talk, don’t be grumpy with me. I can’t bring back your dad or take your pain away but I can hold your hand and I want to.
Dear bank account: Fix the hole! lol, I don’t like that money is avoiding you like the plague!
Dear Aunt: You’re a bee-otch and everyone thinks so. Your kids are deadbeats and no one likes your bee-otch-y attitude. You may think you’re funny putting everyone down to make yourself feel better but you aren’t funny, you’re just pathetic. And stop trying to tell everyone what to do on Christmas. I get that you are frustrated with your kids and mad at your husband, but you are not telling ME what to do or not do for Christmas. I will go visit whoever I want, whenver I want because I am an adult, not a damn 7 year old. #$%@ The sooner you get that through your head, the happier we’ll all be. And the sooner you figure out that you’re not my mother and will never be my mother, the better off we’ll ALL be.
Post # 11
Dear FH: I have asked you to make one phone call re wedding plans. I have asked you calmly many times and you say you will do it and you NEVER DO. Do you realize that this makes me feel like crap, and makes me think maybe you don’t want to marry me, or maybe you are just lazy? Either way, not a good feeling.
Dear Coworkers: I don’t have time to hold your hand through every task. I am the youngest one there, and been there the shortest amount of time. I’m sorry you don’t know how to hook up the projector / scan a picture / plan a session / work the actual hours you are schedule to, but I can’t be expected to do my job AND your job. So figure it out.
Idk if this helped, I think I feel grumpier now.
Post # 12
Dear Future Mother-In-Law: I’m not sure why nothing can make you happy, why you feel the need to yell at us over the fact that we rinse our dishes and put them in the sink and not in the dishwasher, when the dishwasher is full. I’m SO SO tired of cleaning your bathroom because I can’t handle how filthy it is. I’m tired of you being so pissy and cranky,l having to worry if you’re going to blow up at me. I’m just sick of living with you, no matter how much I love you, living with you is so much harder then I wish it was.
Dear customers: please stop being mean to me when I ask you if you want cream in your coffee. I’m not trying to be a bitch, just help you get the drink you ordered. I can’t read your damn mind
Dear boss: please stop correcting me in front of all of the customers in line, over something I could give two craps about. I’m obviously busy, so just get done what you need to and move on. Please and thank you.
Post # 13
LOL this is totally what I need right now!
Dear Dear Husband: You are wonderful and I love you but why did you wait until the last second to decide what you want after saying “I dunno” for the past month when you know that I do not enter any stores at Christmastime and do all my shopping online with coupon codes? You are getting what I already got you and it is your own damn fault.
Darling Mother: Your taste is far too expensive for my budget and you are killing my bank account.
Dear everyone at work: You are all horrible people, especially you, boss, who cheated on your wife at the holiday party and expect everyone to look the other way because you have power. You disgust me and you should probably just kill yourself.
Dear people in the supermarket: Please leave your bitchyness at home. Please do not take out your problems on me. I just need stuff for christmas cookies, I do not need your attitude.
Post # 15
Dear husband’s car: Did you really have to go costing us $547 so close to Christmas? You couldn’t have waited?
Dear mother: Must you call me hysterically crying every.single.day. this week? I understand you’re upset but you asked your husband to move out a year ago and it’s time to move on.
Post # 16
Dear boss – really, it’s time to go home now. I am sending you subliminal messages – early release, early release, early release…