- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Fiance has made the planning process hell. Here has been the progression
-I suggest eloping due to the fact that we are saving for a home and have two kids and lots of expenses that go along with them. He cans it. He wants our kids and family involved. Fair enough.
-I look into a ceremony/reception venue that is very local and classy and only 35/pp. Since we personally know a photog, florist and cake decorator in our families, it would only rack us about 6k. Score, right? Nope. He doesn’t want to spend that much on a wedding. Back to the drawing board.
-I suggest a destination wedding to Atlantic City (our fave place) with 25 of our closest family and friends. We would host a dinner after the ceremony on the beach. However, after computing some costs, it would end up costing us about $2100 for the ceremony, dinner and weekend rooms in AC. This isn’t including the honeymoon where we would be staying in AC for another 3-4 nights. Plus the logistics of getting his daughter back and forth (his ex wife is not so nice and that would be a fight and a half) and the fact that his brother and wife are flaky and we are 99% sure they would not end up coming. So this plan, although still possible, is kinda getting a bit stressful and expensive.
-So today, I suggest the ultimate marriage of what we both want (no pun intended). His parents have a very nice, large backyard and throw an awesome family party for 4th of July each summer. Him and his brothers will drive up to New Husband and buy about $300 in fireworks each year. Even though they live in the ‘burbs, the neighbors and police don’t care we light them and it is our favorite time of year. So I get an awesome idea: How about we have the ceremony that night! Then, we can go to AC for our honeymoon a couple days later (mid-week, so we will save $). He shoots it down because he recently got laid off of work and doesn’t want to get married when he doesn’t have a job. When I mention to him that this will not cost much money at all and I will cover all costs, he said it doesn’t matter because it’s a pride thing, he simply doesn’t want to get married when he doesn’t have a job.
I am ready to hit my head against a wall because the more I think about this recent idea, the more I absolutely love it. He said he likes the idea too and once he gets a job he will consider it. I was like “babe, 4th of july weekend is a little over a month away. If we are going to do this, I need to know very soon.”
I understand the male ego and pride but I really feel like this idea is the right move for us. It’s our favorite weekend and we will be with our favorite people and it’s so cost efficient. I’m really frustrated. I just want to be his wife and can’t justify stressing out over our wedding or waiting a long time to have it when what we want is so simple. I just want to scream.
Thank you to anyone who has read this.