(Closed) VENT – FI's siblings are causing so much drama!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
893 posts
Busy bee

Lakeside003:  Don’t wear white to someone else’s wedding. Period. 

I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. I’m not at the stage where I have to deal with sibling issues yet, but honestly, if they were behaving so horribly, I would go as far as cancelling their invitation. Sounds like Future Sister-In-Law has no intention of being supportive or considerate of you, her brother, or your special day, so why should she have any right to be there? I’m a strong supporter of not alienating family by excluding them from special events, but at this point, it sounds like she’s trying really hard to get herself uninvited. 

For reference, something similar happened when my Future Sister-In-Law was planning her wedding. She only extended +1s to her brothers, both of whom were/are in long-term relationships, and her aunt and two cousins freaked out that they couldn’t bring any of their SOs (with whom they had crazy, turbulent, and completely unstable and unhealthy relationships) and they did not attend for that reason.

Post # 3
1272 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe one of your BMs can conveniently trip and spill some red wine on her dress prior to the ceremony…

Problem solved! 😉

Post # 4
553 posts
Busy bee

Too bad Future Sister-In-Law isn’t the one refusing to come. 

Post # 5
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ugh. How frustrating. Sounds like you are staying cool and classy though so props to you!


my FStSil (future step sister in law) decided to boycott our wedding because my fiancé and I didn’t invite her (on again off again, illegal immigrant, still married to someone else!) boyfriend’a FOUR kids (that I’ve never met, and whose mother has primary custody anyway) to a decidedly no-kids wedding. We allowed our siblings (including step siblings) to bring their biological children as well as members of the wedding party and a few cousins with babies traveling from out of state. Now FStSIL is whipping FSMIL (future step mother in law) and Future Father-In-Law into a holy frenzy about how she is being persecuted. Rules are rules though, we made them and we’re sticking by them! We reached out to FStSIL to smooth things over but she has not taken our calls. 

Ah well, more cake for the people who are actually there to celebrate a wedding, and not make someone else’s day all about themselves! 

Post # 6
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you’re SO better off without ANY of them.

You had perfectly good reasons for NO +1s, and if the sibs are going to act like – well, like what they are, it doesn’t become your job to “please” them.

Sometimes part of your job as bride/new family member is learning to ignore and rise above.this is one of those times. 

Post # 7
32 posts

nowyouareaghost:  lol you little devil you – I love it!!!!

OP, if you can’t guarantee one of your BM’s will follow through with his minor ‘clothing alteration’ on the night I would ask Fiance to try again with Future Sister-In-Law and explain how disrespectful it is to you and him. If she still wont budge I’d have him prepped to tell her that if she can’t be respectful and wear something different (purchased with funds from you both) well then you’d prefer it if she stayed home. 

Post # 8
8952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

sleepydoc29:  I am absolutely on your side, but it is not a “decidedly no-kids wedding”  if siblings’ children,  wedding party’s   children   and travelling guests’ children  are coming  . Just saying. because that what she he will say too.

I wouldn’t  use the’ no-kids’ argument  to her, but rather the reasonble ‘ no one I don’t  know at my wedding’ one instead.  


As for the dress issue , my god what a pain that is . I’m  with the  Red Wine Solution  myself.

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