(Closed) vent friend mad at me for saying no to being a bridesmaid grrrr

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

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BizzyBeeBuzz15:  Sorry that one of your friends turned out to be like that.  You were being the responsible one.  You obviously were the true friend.  

Post # 32
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

What your “friend” did is considered “cyber bullying” to me. Yes, I can understand her  being disappointed. But she went waaaay beyond that. Honestly it seems like the main reason she set her date so close to yours in the first place was she had a bit of envy going on. “Your wedding isn’t the only important one?” Well, yeah it was, until she set her date a week ago lol. Sorry honey, but a real friend wouldn’t have done that, much less the FB thing. Good Luck, I hope it all works out for both of you.

Post # 33
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Unless is was all organised WAYYYY in advance (like a year +) I wouldn’t commit to being in a wedding two days after returning from my honeymoon. She is obviously invited to your wedding & knows what date it will be & KNEW THIS when choosing her date. So she knew it would be a tight squeeze for you. 

I can understand her being disappointed, but instead of doing everything possible to ensure you can be part of her day (paying for your dress, shoes etc) she has gone about it all wrong!

Post # 34
1465 posts
Bumble bee

So Princess wants to get married during prime wedding season with 4 months lead time?  Does she even have venues and vendors?  I’ve had 4 girls get married and we had to book some of their vendors more than a YEAR out!  

Post # 37
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

This sounds exactly like my Future Sister-In-Law 30 but acts like a 12 year old & thinks Facebook is the perfect place to air out family issues.

no way would I ever commit to a wedding so close to mine and only 4 months to purchase everything while still paying off my wedding! She’s insane.

Post # 39
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m sorry but this is hilarious simply because you did nothing wrong! I would tell her she is no longer invited to your wedding and that you don’t have room in your life for such negative people!

Post # 40
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
BizzyBeeBuzz15:  Da fuck?

I was thinking you should talk it out… Until I read the part where she said she should have it the same weekend as yours in hopes that she could make people bail on your wedding.

Even if she was joking. Even if that was said in a moment of frustration. THAT is a very cruel and wrong thing to say. She basically stated that she would like to cause you hurt if she can, even if it doesn’t benefit her.

I dunno. If that seemed out of character, I’d give her a chance to tell me her side of the story. But… With the Facebook post and the other things you’ve written about her, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Post # 41
13768 posts
Honey Beekeeper

There’s plenty to be offended by here, but please don’t judge her for getting engaged and married more quickly than you did or for having a wedding within the same month.  It is not at all rude to ask people to be a member of a wedding party, even if it is only four months out. Plenty of people still do, but she has to understand that any request that comes attached to a a financial obligation may result in not everyone being able to participate.

You will already be on your honeymoon and back, so it’s not as if her wedding is in any kind of competition with yours. My guess is she made the remark about changing the date sarcastically and out of frustration. 

She’s entitled to be sad that you are unable to take on the role, but the rest is just totally out of line. You don’t have to tolerate her sense of entitlement, the lack of consideration for you or your budget, or the cyberbullying. Barring a complete 180 on her end, I would no longer be attending her wedding.  


Post # 42
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You did nothing wrong. You were honest about not being able to afford it. What would she rather, have you figure out in 6 months that you can’t afford it and back out?

Post # 43
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Hmm has anyone else thought that the short engagement might be because something else is going on? She can’t get marred in the winter because that’s too far away? Maybe she doesn’t want to have a huge baby bump so she needs to get married now. I know this isn’t always the case but that’s the only time people I personally know have had short engagements. 

But I agree she’s totally out of line. If she wants to plan and pay for everything and just ask for your measurements, then I would think it would have been possible but not after her childish behavior. I would’ve called her out but thats just bc I’m pretty bitchy.. 

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