(Closed) Vent: Frustrated over FI’s lack of a bachelor party…

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@UpstateCait: Is your Fiance just as upset about the lack of involvement from the Best Man?

Post # 4
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

Is this a big deal to Fi.

 

Sorry, my first reaction is this is an odd thing to be upset about.

Post # 5
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@glorfin: I dont think this is odd at all.

 

My Maid/Matron of Honor really sucked on that department (infact she wasnt even the one to throw the shower).

My Fiance actually planned my bachelorette party. At first I thought it was lame, but at the end, everything worked out and my bms stepped up.

Could you possibly do that for FI? Maybe his best man is just so busy with the baby plans that he hasnt had time to plan. If you plan it and tell him to pay for it, Fiance might just have a great time!

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@UpstateCait: I really advice not planning his bachelor party yourself…awkward. Our wedding is in less than 40 days, nothing’s planned so far but I’m not worried about it. I know that the guys will get something together eventually, it’ll be last minute but it really shouldn’t take much advance planning unless they’re going out of town or something, which I don’t think is necessary.

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Wonderstruck: I know that it sounds awkward and at first I was really really against it, but in the end it was honestly one of the best night of my life. And I really think I would have been really bummed if nothing had happend at all. 

Post # 9
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d be upset too and my solution would be to contact the best man and say “How’s your wife doing?” – just to ask about the baby first and then “Hey, you are planning a bach party for the Mr., right?”

Post # 10
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Epworth UMC & Ward Pavilion

No one was getting the ball rolling on my fiance’s bachelor party, so he sent out an email to his buddies that was basically, “Hey there’s a Tigers game on such and such a date, and it would be sweet to go to it and then party in Detroit for my bachelor party. What do you guys think?”

They all emailed back and said they were excited about it, one guy volunteered to get tickets, another volunteered to get hotel rooms, etc. Sometimes you just have to get the ball rolling because people tend to not take charge if they think someone else is going to do it.

Honestly, if the baby is due at any time, the bachelor party is probably the last thing on his brother’s mind. He probably just needs a little nudge and a reminder. Also, if there are any single guys in the bridal party, they will probably be most excited about planning it. The best man doesn’t necessarily have to be the one to put it together.

Post # 12
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah, there’s no reason you can’t casually bring it up to Future Brother-In-Law. Just say, “I just wanted to find out if you’d decided on a day for DF’s bachelor party….our weekends are filling up so we’d like to get that on the callendar” or something like that.

Post # 13
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@UpstateCait: I was having the same problem! FI’s Bridesmaid or Best Man is his brother as well.  His brother sometimes…well has problems thinking of people other than himself.  I knew that it was going to be difficult.  When July rolled around and nothing had been planned I contacted FI’s best friend and talked to him about it to make sure that he was “helping” Future Brother-In-Law out because I didn’t think anything would get done otherwise.  Luckily he felt the same way and said he was realizing he was going to have to plan things himself.  Well he got Future Brother-In-Law going and now they have a fun weekend planned for Fiance.  Fiance is now even getting a second bachelor party weekend with his friends down in Washington DC that some of his friends who live there set up.

Is there another Groomsmen that you can talk to that isn’t quite as busy as your FBIL?

Post # 15
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@UpstateCait: I think that sounds like a great place to start! I am sure that your friend’s Darling Husband would be happy to assist in the planning.  Future Brother-In-Law probably needs a kick in the pants to get going, and if he is not much for organizing things, he might need suggestions too.  I really hope it works out!

I know it sounds weird to some people that the bride is advocating for her Fiance to have a bachelor party but honestly for me it was that I wanted Fiance to feel cared about by his friends.  I also wanted them all to be able to get away and have some fun together.

Post # 16
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Sunshine1810: I know it sounds weird to some people that the bride is advocating for her Fiance to have a bachelor party but honestly for me it was that I wanted Fiance to feel cared about by his friends.  I also wanted them all to be able to get away and have some fun together.

This! Even my fi had a similar problem! The boys were slacking on their road trip for Fiance too! So I sent out an email saying that if they needed any help with planning it I would be more then wiling to do anything because I knew it would mean a lot to Fiance. And then after that, the boys planned it all. 

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