Thanks for the kind words, guys! A very nice profile I read on match of a guy who has the exact same interests and many of the same life experiences as me, but who indicated he was not seeking black women, made me want to blow up and get off some steam haha.
I like fashion and dress up all the time for myself, so I do have pictures of myself dressed to the nines. I also have pictures without makeup hiking or biking. Because I’m human—and I don’t always wear make-up. Whoever ends up with me will see me in 4″ stilletos and sweating in the gym or outdoors, eventually. Generally, I believe I have a balance of photos of myself in various places because that’s the real me.
I don’t flex my accomplishments unnecessarily on people, but when they find out in conversation, it’s been mentioned that I’m intimidating. Well… if you ask me where I’ve traveled or lived, and I tell you, and it makes you feel bad, then I feel the person is very insecure. I imagine this can lead to relationship jealousies. I’m not the most confident person, but I refuse to feel bad for going to school. Once a man tried to slap me down and say that even though I enjoy traveling, I’m not a “true traveler” because I’ve never been to Amsterdam, like him. What does that even mean? lol
I think who I am is a filter to insecure and racist men. Unfortunately, it makes the population who would date me very, very small.
I’ve tried this, including joining hobby groups. I’ve met great friends, but a relationship hasn’t come from it, unfortunately.
I’ve tried eHarmony, and maybe I should give it another shot, but I found a lot of the men to be very religious. Also, it seems many men have filtered out black women.
Aside from living on they’re own, I have all of that listed on my profile.
Well, you have a thread saying you think dating coaches are full of BS, so I find it interesting that you read all this in a blog from someone…who sounds like a conservative dating coach lol. Look, I don’t go on a dinner date and tell the man all my accomplishments, they usually ask and are either 1) Interested to know more. 2) Feel uncomfortable and try to take me down a notch.
I think it’s important to understand the vicious cycle a lot of black women find themselves in. If we don’t overachieve in life, we’re a lot less likely to get hired. It’s a survival tactic; if I didn’t go to school, or learn another language, I wouldn’t be as marketable as my white counterparts with even less qualifications. Ironically, the fact that we have achieved a lot by ourselves, compounded with negative sterotypes about black women, make us “intimidating”.
Also… Do some of ya’ll actually think I said I’ve paid my car on my profile?? lol