(Closed) VENT: FSIL not returning calls or giving much need wedding info

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
11269 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@violet25:  have you considered that she is not returning your emails or voicemails b/c there may be issues between your brother and fsil?  maybe they are quietly dealing with “stuff” and don’t want to discuss anything wedding until they sort things out between them?? 

let it go.  just show up for the ceremony at the correct time.  if they need you elsewhere, they will let you know.

Post # 33
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I do think that it’s rude for her to not return your calls, but I just can’t get over why you need to know where you’re sitting at an event three weeks away.

Can you text or email with very specific and short questions that she can answer with yes/no or short answers? 

Post # 34
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@violet25:  Rude, yes…but also understandable.  She has a wedding in two weeks and probably has a billion things going on.  Trust me, if my Mother-In-Law had continually called me over and over asking about parking and picture times…things that probably could have been put off a bit more too, I would have ingored the calls just for the sake of my sanity.

Post # 35
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@violet25:  Something is obviously wrong, you are so busy, so overwhelmed, that you can’t take a few minutes out of your busy schedule to anwer a few questions from your FI’s mother, who is paying for your wedding.  Come on!Yell

I say talk to your brother.

Post # 36
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@violet25:  She may not even know these answers yet. I think you should probably take a step back and wait another week or so before calling again.

Post # 38
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m wondering if she doesn’t want to discuss the seating plan with your mum….why does your mum need to know about who’s sitting where?

Post # 39
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’re invited and my parents are paying for the wedding. My mom has been involved from the very beginning and Future Sister-In-Law has always responded to her questions, calls. Now, suddenly when we need answers to questions which are not answered in the invite–like parking, seating, pictures, etc–she is impossible to reach

maybe Future Sister-In-Law is tired of your mom being involved? 

I would step back and take Future Sister-In-Law lead – there could be a bigger issue thats currently about to boil over here but i hope not

Post # 40
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

time for a chillax pill breathe in and out relax

Post # 41
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - The Old Field Club

OP I just want to say I think Future Sister-In-Law is being pretty rude.  If your parents paid for the wedding they should be kept in the loop and should receive a phone call if not just to say “sorry, I don’t know that yet but will tell you ASAP”.  I think PPs have been a little harsh.  Being stressed is no excuse to not return a phone call…

Post # 42
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My brother won’t be any help in this matter because he is always on her side no matter what and he’ll get mad about why we’re asking him questions.


Of course he is! they are gonna be married they are a unit. I find it hard to believe he knows no information. Its three weeks before the wedding she is probably feeling overwhelmed give her a break this is your Future Sister-In-Law you are going to be family forever. Everyone is probably very stressed and tension is high you dont want this to turn into an even bigger thing!


Post # 43
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You know, even if they have a great relationship, your fsil might just really a break from your mom. I am helping my bff plan her wedding and we have occasionally needed to take serious breaks, like no talking for a week or two to decompress. The fact that your bro refuses to get involved is telling. I would cut her some slack. Being a bride within 30 days of your wedding is rough. Shes lucky that she finding time to hang out and relax. Trust me, i know. 😉

Post # 44
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@WillyNilly:  This is exactly what I was trying to suggest. My Future Mother-In-Law is lovely, but bossy. I’m not saying your mum is, but Future Sister-In-Law may just have no idea how to ask her to step back. I still don’t understand why your mum is so involved with the table plan.

I also have to say, just because someone offers to contribute/pay for a wedding, that doesn’t automatically give them a right to make the decisions.

Post # 45
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Your brother has no idea about his own wedding, what a load of crap! Call one final time, this time call him and tell him “Ask (fsil name) to inform YOU of YOUR wedding plans TODAY and YOU call us back BEFORE tonight. 

I want to add if there truly is zero communication between your brother and his future wife, what’s it going to be like after they are married? 

Post # 46
Member
9036 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ok I am a little confused. Your parents are paying for the wedding but you also said that your brother is no loner close to you guys?

Have you and your parents had a falling out with you brother? I think that would definately explain why Future Sister-In-Law isn’t communicating with you guys. Maybe your brother has asked her notto communicate with you!

 

The topic ‘VENT: FSIL not returning calls or giving much need wedding info’ is closed to new replies.

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