(Closed) [Vent] He doesn't care and I've had it!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@lina010:  +1 Me too! Lol

OP, I’m pretty sure most guys are this way. Not engaged yet, but I could imagine SO being the same way.

Post # 18
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Alot of guys are like that.  My Fiance was in school for the majority of all the planning so he had very little time to sit down and give an opinion.  I tended to pick my top three in things and ask him his thoughts on those top 3.  I also gave him specific tasks to do that i knew he would enjoy like picking out his groomsmen gift and buying them, picking out our matching ceremony wedding bands.  Little stuff, I did not want to overwhelm him while he was in school but still wanted his input on stuff.

Post # 19
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

thats so sad, I think when it becomes a chore and is no longer fun and exciting its time to head to the court house! 

It should be fun and exciting, not stressful and def not a chore πŸ™

I honestly dont think the guys care as much, at all, and the most important part is that they just want to marry you. I was so excited to plan I would think of things and be like, what do you think? would this be ok? anything you dont want? funny enough he didnt want a pink wedding and that is exactly what we ended up with hahah oh well!  he loved the color too so it was fine πŸ™‚

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 20
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My Fiance is like this when I would  ask for his opinion he would say “whatever you like”  or “its up to you”  And my favorite is “Well you wanted the big wedding I would have been fine with the court house”  I just let it roll off my back I think most guys dont really get into the planning so much.  And honestly  Iwant my Fiance opinion on things but I also know what Id like the wedding to look like. He says as long as I’m happy then he loves it so I say ok and honestly dont really ask anymore unless its in regards to him or the groomsman directly.  It seems to working so much better this way πŸ™‚ 

 

Remeber when us ladies were younger we were busy being princesses and dressing up, the guys most likely were blowing things up and terrorizing their parents lol. 

 

 

Post # 21
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I agree with a lot of the PPs here – some great advice!

Most of the time I just want him to agree with my good idea, so I say, “Does this sound ok to you?”  I told him that unless he disagrees, he needs to say “That sounds great!” and sound excited instead of “Whatever, I don’t care.”  Which sounds ridiculously controlling now, but it was more of me just explaining how I need to feel support from him.  He’s been really good about doing that and I feel like we’re on board together, even though he’s just going along with whatever I decide πŸ™‚

On stuff where I really need help, I specifically say “This is something where I really need you to have an opinion.  Can you please think about it and we’ll decide tomorrow?”  Then follow through.

I also agree with showing him the list and having him pick what to do.

Good luck!

Post # 22
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Fiance doesn’t care either.  Which is fine, because I get everything my way πŸ™‚ The only thing he cared about was the food, and his boutonniere, so he got his way with those.  I got frustrated the other day when I was asking him about his guests and he didn’t seem to really even care if some of his friends showed up or not, but his response was that he just cares about marrying me; he’d be happy to just go down to the courthouse, and it reminded me that he’s right, us getting married is the most important, and the rest is just for fun πŸ™‚  Don’t let it be like a chore!!

Post # 24
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Girl, yeah, talk to him. I had the EXACT same feeling and I just had a major HDR (Heavy Deep and REAL) talk with him – and he shaped up and started helping immediately. He told me that he just figured he would mess stuff up, so it was easier to just “whatever you want” because that way I wouldn’t be upset. I told him that I NEED his opinion, even if sometimes it’s just a “Wow, great idea!” even if it’s completely faked.

 

I told him that while I know his lack of excitment about the wedding does not equal lack of excitment about the marriage, it was feeling like that, so he needed to change that.

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