(Closed) VENT: HELP! FMIL family staying at my house before the wedding? Who does that??!

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: What should I do?

    Stand my ground, Not let them stay at the house

    Let them stay with FI and let him take care of it, While I stay at my mom's

    Other, EXPLAIN!

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1384 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    You know, I would book an amazing, relaxing hotel room nearby the day before and maybe even the night of the wedding (the night of for both you and your husband) and just unwind the night before and take all of your wedding day necessities to the room. I know you are irritated but also want to stay on friendly grounds with his family, but focus on yourself and let your Fiance deal with all of that noise. They aren’t your family til you say ‘I do’! Just don’t let it get to you or ruin your mood for your big day. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Yes, just go to a hotel and ignore everyone.

    I would be pissed too.

    Post # 19
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    That was definitely a jerk move to not ask you before agreeing to let so many people stay.  I can see where he’s coming from though.  In my family, it’s considered extremely rude and an insult to the hosting family if you don’t go stay at their place when visiting.  During my wedding, my mom had 9 extra people staying at her house, all cousins and aunts who came in for the wedding.  At the time I was still living with my parents too so you can see how crowded the house was.  My only request was that I not have to share my bedroom so I could at the very least get good sleep at night. 

    I actually ended up having a lot of fun preparing for the wedding and hanging out with all my family before.  But anyhow, it’s not worth it to start a fight over this.  You don’t want his family to dislike you before you’re even married yet.  Just go to your mom’s or book a hotel and let him deal with all the guests.  Good luck!

    Post # 20
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    No, you’re not crazy. My in-laws came from Australia and stayed with us for three weeks before the wedding… but not for the night before the wedding (they were in a hotel) or our wedding night (we were in a hotel)! You at least need those couple of days alone together!

    Post # 22
    Member
    2417 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Oh goodness. What is done is done, so I would see if you can afford to rent a hotel room for the night before your wedding and your wedding night. I’m surprised he didn’t think about enjoying your wedding night before he said yes to a whole bunch of people being at your house.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    @DaisyCakes:  to be fair, maybe they dont have enough money for a hotel but want to attend the wedding as family is important to them. so they need to stay with family. your Fi shouldve check with you but even if its only 3 hours,  driving across borders can be a bitch. When we leave Mexico to visit the US it can take forever to get across, not to mention its incredibly unsafe to do at night (on our side, not in the US). Depending on the countries it may well not be a good idea for them to try to get back the same day

    i do get that its an effort though and i would HATE it 

    its fair enough to stay elsewhere night before wedding, but if you do it for more days than that its going to look like a major snub 

    Post # 25
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    that is very inconsiderate, coming from the family and your fiance. Doesnt he know it is a stressful time? he should really stand up for you, and your home. Talk to him, if he doens’t budge, just let him do ALL of the work for the guest.. such as getting towels, sheets, etc and go relax at a hotel, and enjoy some time alone. 

    The topic ‘VENT: HELP! FMIL family staying at my house before the wedding? Who does that??!’ is closed to new replies.

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