Post # 1
I just need to get this off my chest. My FI’s last relationship was pretty weird. She never introduced him to any of her friends or family, kept him a secret, went out on dates with other men that liked her but told him that there was nothing wrong b/c she wasnt doing anything with them, constantly talked about her last bf, etc.. for almost 3 years. She’s manipulative and before you say there are two sides to every story, he showed me the emails they exchanged back and forth and it was just ugly. She really treated him like crap.
Fast forward. In the beginning, Fiance didnt want to be seen at the mall or other places with me because he was afraid to hurt her feelings if she ran into him. I was pretty hurt by this b/c he put her feelings before mine and didnt think how this would hurt me. Later, I finally told him and he apologized. I asked him if he had any left over feelings for her and he said no. Okay, fine. Well, she sent him an email to get closure I guess and wishing him a good life and hoping he finds the special girl he deserves. She then sends him and email during christmas saying,”well it sure didnt take long for you to take my advice. I must have not been that special after all.”
WTF? Is she trying to make him feel guilty for moving on? Then she sends him a message on facebook trying to talk to him again. He allowed me to respond to her but said not to hurt her feelings.. umm, again he disregards me. He doesnt want drama so i politely told her that he is now engaged and that we would like to keep the past as just that.. the past. We are trying to move forward and would appreciate if she didnt contact him. She responds and says no harm intended. okay great..
Well, I just found out she called his sister out of the blue to talk to her and tell her congratulations on getting married. His sister got married over a year ago and they arent even friends. Yet she called her and talked to her. I dont know if she tried getting info on my Fiance or ask for his number.. but they broke up like two years ago. How in the world did she get his sisters number? His sister wont tell Fiance anything else like did she ask about him or say anything..etc etc. but she did kept asking Fiance if he was curious about his ex. This doesnt help me b/c his sister hates me.. that’s on another post.
The really weird thing..his ex doesnt know my name, but somehow found out and blocked me on facebook. We also have a wedding website but no one has the address. I went on it today to make some changes and apparently i’ve already had 70 visitors! I wonder if she is stalking us..
I just needed to vent this out. I just dont get why she keeps trying to contact him and why she would even go as far as calling his sister whom she doesnt even talk to! I dont even know how she found out my name on facebook. I feel like she might try to find a way to talk to Fiance again. Im just annoyed.
If you read this far, thanks for reading.
Post # 3
I suggest you give up wasting energy worrying about her. She is obviously a wacko!
I would wonder why your Fiance went out with her for 3 years, allowed her to treat him like this and doesn’t block her from communicating with him via email.
Post # 4
ya, just focus on you and your Fiance. as long as you both trust and love each other, she can’t do anything to change that
Post # 5
yup—shift your energy from the tramp. If you make her upset you then she is winning, Don’t make her win.
Post # 6
Why do you know she blocked you on Facebook? Why would you even be looking her up?
It doesn’t matter if his ex has weird issues if he doesn’t. Just focus on your relationship with him, and the rest doesn’t matter!
Post # 7
I say have an honest sit down again with your Fiance and tell him that he had 1)a totally dysfunctional relationship with her and 2)you are not ok with him contacting her or having any contact with her period and 3) tell him how she called his sister and was talking about your engagement. 4)also tell him about facebook and how she’s just so really strange-acting.
She IS a nut and is imho, trying to cause a wedge. I’d leave her alone, but imho, she is doing deliberate acts to cause problems.
Post # 8
I hate wacko ex’s… I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My ex was (maybe still is) stalking me…. almost ruined me and FI’s relationship. Just try to move past it and ignore it (as hard as it might be) it could just go away and you’ll be left with nothing but a memory =)
Post # 9
It sounds like he needs to cut off contact with her. It sounds harsh, as I’m sure he still cares about her feelings, but it will honestly be better in the long run. My boyfriend has an ex (who was also a close friend of mine at one point) and she would always try to sneakily ask mutual friends about us, call him in the middle of the night and make up reasons for calling, and say nasty things to us when we ran into each other (we all went to college together). We hoped to remain on decent terms with her but it just didn’t work out, so we both stopped contacting her.
Post # 10
I’m with Bellenga, you need to sit down and have a talk with your Fiance about this. My husband’s ex is weird, and despite not talking to her for years, she still sends him random messages on facebook. She even sent me a message ‘congratulating’ me on the engagement (with weird other stuff) even though we have never met. We just laugh about her now, but we did have a serious discussion about her earlier on. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!
Post # 11
I would suggest that you have your Fiance cut off contact with her. Actually, you shouldn’t have to suggest it, he should just do it. Block her on Facebook and if he remembers her cell number, have that blocked from calling his phone.
She is probably recently single and she is trying to contact all prior boyfriends to see who will give her attention. I hate to be hard on our own sex but some women are nuts and like to play mind games.
Once she realizes that your Fiance cut off contact and doesn’t give a sh*t, she’ll leave you guys alone.
Post # 12
I really agree with everything that Bellenga said, you need to have a conversation with your Fiance and make sure that he knows your true feelings about the situation and her. Crazy lady is always going to be crazy, you can’t fix her but you can make sure the she doesn’t affect your lives. Hope things get better!
Post # 13
Whatever this girl is doing to you or your Fiance, provided it’s not violent or threatening DOES. NOT. MATTER. If she really is batshit crazy, then you need to cease contact. Stop worrying about her blocking YOU from FB; block HER. Change your phone number. Change your email or put her email on your block list.
The bigger issue here is whatever your Fiance is doing to make you feel insecure (like, why is he talking to her AT ALL? Why does HE block HER from FB?) and whatever YOU are doing to perpetuate the drama. Frankly, if she is trying to talk to Fiance (and not you), then it’s FI’s responsibility to fix that and make sure that she doesn’t and/or can’t talk to him. So yes, let him know that it bothers you so that he CAN act, but this should not become a power-struggle between you and her. That’s you dropping to her level–you HAVE the guy, don’t bother. It’s beneath you.