(Closed) VENT: His ex has a motive…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
46371 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I suggest you give up wasting energy worrying about her. She is obviously a wacko!

I would wonder why your Fiance went out with her for 3 years, allowed her to treat him like this  and doesn’t block her from communicating with him via email.

Post # 4
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ya, just focus on you and your Fiance. as long as you both trust and love each other, she can’t do anything to change that

Post # 5
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

yup—shift your energy from the tramp.  If you make her upset you then she is winning, Don’t make her win.

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why do you know she blocked you on Facebook? Why would you even be looking her up?

It doesn’t matter if his ex has weird issues if he doesn’t. Just focus on your relationship with him, and the rest doesn’t matter!

Post # 7
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I say have an honest sit down again with your Fiance and tell him that he had 1)a totally dysfunctional relationship with her and 2)you are not ok with him contacting her or having any contact with her period and 3) tell him how she called his sister and was talking about your engagement. 4)also tell him about facebook and how she’s just so really strange-acting.

She IS a nut and is imho, trying to cause a wedge.  I’d leave her alone, but imho, she is doing deliberate acts to cause problems.

Post # 8
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hate wacko ex’s… I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My ex was (maybe still is) stalking me…. almost ruined me and FI’s relationship. Just try to move past it and ignore it (as hard as it might be) it could just go away and you’ll be left with nothing but a memory =)

Post # 9
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It sounds like he needs to cut off contact with her. It sounds harsh, as I’m sure he still cares about her feelings, but it will honestly be better in the long run. My boyfriend has an ex (who was also a close friend of mine at one point) and she would always try to sneakily ask mutual friends about us, call him in the middle of the night and make up reasons for calling, and say nasty things to us when we ran into each other (we all went to college together). We hoped to remain on decent terms with her but it just didn’t work out, so we both stopped contacting her.

Post # 10
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m with Bellenga, you need to sit down and have a talk with your Fiance about this.  My husband’s ex is weird, and despite not talking to her for years, she still sends him random messages on facebook.  She even sent me a message ‘congratulating’ me on the engagement (with weird other stuff) even though we have never met.  We just laugh about her now, but we did have a serious discussion about her earlier on.  I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!

Post # 11
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would suggest that you have your Fiance cut off contact with her.  Actually, you shouldn’t have to suggest it, he should just do it.  Block her on Facebook and if he remembers her cell number, have that blocked from calling his phone. 

She is probably recently single and she is trying to contact all prior boyfriends to see who will give her attention.    I hate to be hard on our own sex but some women are nuts and like to play mind games. 

Once she realizes that your Fiance cut off contact and doesn’t give a sh*t, she’ll leave you guys alone. 

Post # 12
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I really agree with everything that Bellenga said, you need to have a conversation with your Fiance and make sure that he knows your true feelings about the situation and her. Crazy lady is always going to be crazy, you can’t fix her but you can make sure the she doesn’t affect your lives. Hope things get better!

Post # 13
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Whatever this girl is doing to you or your Fiance, provided it’s not violent or threatening DOES. NOT. MATTER. If she really is batshit crazy, then you need to cease contact. Stop worrying about her blocking YOU from FB; block HER. Change your phone number. Change your email or put her email on your block list. 

The bigger issue here is whatever your Fiance is doing to make you feel insecure (like, why is he talking to her AT ALL? Why does HE block HER from FB?) and whatever YOU are doing to perpetuate the drama. Frankly, if she is trying to talk to Fiance (and not you), then it’s FI’s responsibility to fix that and make sure that she doesn’t and/or can’t talk to him. So yes, let him know that it bothers you so that he CAN act, but this should not become a power-struggle between you and her. That’s you dropping to her level–you HAVE the guy, don’t bother. It’s beneath you.

 

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