(Closed) *vent* How much does you S.O. clean? Cook? *sigh*

posted 10 years ago in Home
Post # 32
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

It goes up and down. Lately he cooks more, but he really enjoys it and when I cook he comes into the kitchen and messes with what I’m doing or just watches and makes annoying comments so it’s just easier for him to do it. lol…

With cleaning, we both do an equal amount but there are things that we just individually do. Like, he does all the floors, and I clean the kid and guest bathrooms.  We both clean the communal spaces (living room, dining room, etc.).

I know a lot of people who do like a chore calendar to help even things out because you both can see how much the other is doing. Also, maybe just writing down for a week or so everything you do and everything he does will help him gain some perspective; sometimes seeing it all in front of you written down makes it easier to see.


Post # 33
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m definitely one of the spoiled girls, I am in school right now and Fi works from home, so when we are together (we are LDR) he does everything for me if I am too busy, if I have time off we enjoy doing most of the chores and cooking together (we will watch tv while we fold clothes or clean up the living room).

That being said when we were living together full time and he was working 60+ hours a week, I picked up all the slack–cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of the dogs.  

I really think, for us, it will always depend on who’s life is busier, and who has the time to keep the house up…

Post # 34
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Fiance does not cook or clean.  But since he knows that he does not do anything I have a cleaning lady come once a week who does all of our laundry.  So all I really have to do is cook and shop for groceries and keep the house clean.

Post # 35
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@veganglam and trailmix – Fiance was like that, his Mom did E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. We live next door to them, and I don’t mind at all. But instead of fending for himself when I’m not home, he’ll go next door to his mom’s house to get something to eat!! He’s terrible LOL. But I will say that if I ask him to do something, he’s very good about it!!!!

Post # 36
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

ok i started typing but then my boss came over and i had to close the screen… ARGH now i have to try remember what i typed LOL


Ok he does EVERYTHING… he cleans and cooks, he isn’t working so i think it’s fair that he does all the house duties during the week, i work and i don’t feel like doing any of the stuff when i get home. I clean up on the weekend, i take our dirty dinner plates and put then in the dishwasher after dinner every night.

When he was working we would do all the house work on saturday morning, and split the jobs between us… he did most of the outside yard work.

I think it’s fair… am i wrong?

Post # 37
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband vaccums sometimes but that is the extent of his cleaning.  He can barely cook though so I do all of that.

Post # 38
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I am really lucky, he does all the chores around the house. I work full time and go to school, so he cleans, cooks, and rubs my feet. I cannot express the love I have for him.

Post # 39
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Casa Real at Ruby Hill Winery

My Fiance and I both cook, pretty equally. I’m a clutter-monger, and he is much neater. I do the majority of the “cleaning” in terms of vacuuming, dusting, etc but he straightens up more. We each do our own laundry. I’d say it’s pretty equal, though sometimes I feel more like I do more!

Post # 40
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I do almost all the cooking, including making lunches for both of us on work days.  I also pretty much do the grocery shopping since I make the list, and actually take the things off the shelf into the cart, but he usually comes just to hang out and talk to me while I do it, and help me carry them into the house.

Beyond that, we each do our own laundry, and clean up our own messes.  However, he always cleans up after dinner, and does all the major cleaning (vacuuming, bathrooms, sweeping/mopping).  We have a small apartment so he says it only takes him a couple hours once a week, and he’s much more particular than I am, and works four on/four off. 

I would say it’s fairly even since I do most cooking and “errands”.  I’m always the one who goes out and picks up cards/gifts/wine if we have a party to go to, or drops off/picks up dry cleaning and that kind of thing.

But I totally acknowledge that I’m extremely lucky! 

Post # 41
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

fiance does the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping (sometimes we go together), and the laundry…but we are staying at his place (his parents own it but do not live there..we are moving to our own place once married). When we move in together I am sure we will divvy up the chores a little better. But he has got me pretty spoiled now:)

Post # 42
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I work from home part-time and so I do most of the household chores. I do most of the cooking, although Fi regularly asks if I want him to cook (his recipes are limited to some form of pasta dish, so I usually pass him up). I’ve been letting the dishes pile up on the sink so he can unload and load them into the dishwasher, unless I’m feeling really inspired and need the sink for an ingredient intensive meal.

Fi has always done all of the laundry, but he lets it pile up until he literally runs out of underwear before he does it! I always put away the laundry since he’ll just let it sit and get crinkly afterwards. Fi takes out all the trash all on his own (without me noticing) haha! He also does the regular grocery shopping (like when I need an ingredient or if we run out of milk and yogurt). We do the bulk grocery shopping together, but that’s way less frequent.

We’re not clean freaks so we usually do all the dusting and vacuuming the day before someone comes over and visits. We both “clean” when that happens. We have hardwood floors so it’s not that bad. On a normal week, without visitors, I’ll likely vacuum when I see hairballs piled up in the corner (I have long hair … I know it’s gross!) I tell myself I should dust more often. I do clean the kitchen on a regular basis. The bathroom tub has needed scrubbing for awhile now and I’m waiting until Fi notices. But I think his breaking point is way beyond mine so I’ll likely scrub that sucker sometime this week.



Post # 43
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I cannot ask for more. My fiance since he is a little kid he has always been a clean freak (ok some time to the point where it is extreemly anoying) he cannot stand seeing a dirty dish in the sink. One of the first things he does every morning when he wakes up is dust the living room furniture (all black what a bad decision we had) he washes any dishes that might be in the sink, makes the bed (sometimes when im still in it 😉 ) give the cats clean water and food and does the cat litter. I mean can I ask for more… oh yeah on top of that because he finishes work before me when I get home a hot meal is waiting for me, he has made my lunch for the next day, and does all of our laundry every week. Now I know that a lot of people are going to ask what is left to do… well not much but he tells me that he doesn’t want me to get hurt while cleaning the house ( i was hurt in a car accident two years ago and have a bad back and left shoulder, but i still function really well )

    I can’t ask for better, he even tucks me into bed every night.

Post # 44
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Fiance only cooks twice a year and thats for my bday and Valentine’s Day, and its always the same exact meal, steak and rice pilaf, lol.  He does all the laundry in the house, folds and puts away as well, im horrible with laundry.  I cook every night and clean every day and unfortunately we dont have a dishwasher so I do dishes every morning. I trained him well with putting the toilet seat down for me though

Post # 45
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i can relate, Fiance doesn’t clean up around the apartment very much, vacuum, dust or wash dishes…. he’ll make us cheeseburgers like 2x a year but thats all the cooking. I don’t do too much cooking either so we usually just make our own dinners. ( i make salad, he makes himself a sandwich.) When i make pasta or something bigger then we’ll share it.

he does however take out the garbage and we always go grocery shopping together, i’ve never gone alone! which i prefer 😀 we also do laundry together and hes always more motivated to do it (which is good) because if i had my way i’d do it very month. i hate it!

i’m not good at keeping the apartment spick n’ span during the week so i admit it looks like hell most of the time. (i’m a messy person too, yikes!) Fiance calls me “Susie Home-Maker” when there is crap all over the place. we can’t wait to get a house cleaner 2x a week!

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