(Vent) I hate the holidays

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

For most of my life I’ve hated the holidays. This year is my first holiday season being married so I decided to say fuck it, I’m decorating (I never do), getting stupid matching pajamas for myself, my husband and the dogs and trying to create our own silly tradition and forgetting about the shitty holidays I’ve had leading up to this year.

can you try and do something different, switch things up this year so you can have some fun?

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pantsapocalypse :  

Post # 3
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Are you medicated, at all? It’s hard to battle depression alone. I saw my mom struggle for years and she’s a strong woman but she became a shadow of herself. Years ago I went through a period where I was REALLY low and looked for something that would or could possibly help. Someone suggested volunteering so I did. Volunteered at a seniors center raising money for local animal shelters through senior bingo once a week. Just helping out, being forced to talk with strangers and hearing their life stories brought me up. I highly recommend helping the less fortunate to get a different perspective on your life.

Post # 4
Member
5461 posts
Bee Keeper

Volunteer at a soup kitchen or community pantry. Contemplating the lives of those less fortunate than you will take some of your focus off yourself and do good things.

Post # 5
Member
569 posts
Busy bee

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lifeisbeeutiful :  solid advice. I’m way more likely to get up when I don’t want to if I’ve already made a commitment to someone else. 

Post # 6
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

Christmas /end if year I get very depressed due to a traumatic event 6 years ago…. 2 years ago was a good Christmas I was stoked!!

Then last year Ihad the worst bout and escalated with anxiety. 

:/ Holiday season can be the worst time.

I grew up not celebrating holidays and Im not xlose to my family so its always weird regardless…I always work in hospital or community sectors too so I usually work holidays!

this so my first time celebrating so much as we do not have thanksgiving or halloween in Australia…but I am in US visiting my fiance and I’m doing all the holidays!!! 

 

One thing Im still trying to learn through therapy was making new habits or traditions during times of past trauma (hence pn holiday with fiance and not working volunteering this time) – changed environment can aassist with the healing. 

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pantsapocalypse :  

Post # 8
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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pantsapocalypse :  understood. Then how about volunteering at an animal shelter? You want a dog, and there are so many animals that would love to have you spend time with them there. Everyone would benefit. 

Post # 9
Member
9274 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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pantsapocalypse :  I second volunteering. There are plenty of animal shelters that are overwhelmed and understaffed during the holidays. But clear it with your treating therapist first because none of us here are privvy to your medical history. It can be helpful for depression.

Post # 11
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

I spent one Christmas holed up in my room eating mac n cheese and watching those 365 day transformations and movies all night.

It was really gross but I just needed to get through a few days with bo people and it pretty much worked. 

Post # 12
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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pantsapocalypse :  keep an open mind to new things in your future. Good luck.

Post # 14
Member
10986 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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pantsapocalypse :  Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry you’re feeling badly right now. Many people genuinely suffer during the holidays. Hollywood, where everything is make believe, has created piles of absurd expectations for what the holidays are supposed to be, but never are.

I have struggled to come to terms with the reality that no Christmas will come close to the two day, full on, blow out bashes we had every year at our house. 

Of course, no Christmas will include my abusive parents either, so perhaps it’s a trade off.

Over the years, I have spent many holidays alone, just my dogs and me. There was the occasional sympathy invite, but, I was on my own for all major holidays after I dumped my parents.

Now, I have no family locally, other than Dh. We typically eat out, it just makes sense for the two of us.

This year, I have zero holiday spirit.  Normally, I get pretty engaged, but, this year—meh.

I fully support the idea of volunteering.  Just one caveat about animal shelters.  If you end up working at a kill shelter, be absolutely certain that you are clear on exactly what and where you will be. Finding yourself next to the euthanasia room will not make you less depressed.  But, it will convert you into a rabid spay/neuter activist.

Post # 15
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee

I think all the Bees have given solid advice so far. You could consider taking part in the Weddingbee Christmas card exchange, as minute of a thing that might be; even the process of sending a few cards (handmade or otherwise) with a nice note is getting me excited for the holidays. Hell, even if you can’t send anything, join and have some of us send cards to YOU! 

The holidays are tough, and many of mine were spent all alone too, so I get it. But I love Christmas, so I bought my own little fake tree some years ago and brought it out every year while watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. You can make your own traditions too! I’m sure there are people who love you, Bee, even if you’re not with them right now. And there will be NEW people who will love you as your life continues. 

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