(Closed) Vent: I’m getting sick of people saying we’re still in the “honeymoon phase”

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

How dare you be happy for longer than 2 months! (or some other arbitrarily determined ‘honeymoon’ period.)

I had a friend in HS that said to me ‘wait until you hit 6 months, that’s when Boyfriend or Best Friend and I started fighting all the time’. Darling Husband and I had been dating for a few weeks.

Fast forward 5 years, guess who’s married and still waiting to hit that ‘fighting all the time period’ and guess who is broken up?

I understand having tiffs and not getting along 100% of the time, but why are you expected to eventually end up miserable in your relationship?

Post # 3
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

yeah, just because other people aren’t happy in their relationships they want to act like they know more than you, etc. and be really patronizing. My and my Fiance seriously didn’t have ANY arguments about ANYTHING for over two years!  my friends couldn’t believe it!  i just thought it was a sign of a good relationship – we just get on well!!  You’ll have the last laugh when you are celebrating your 20 year anniversary though, remember that the other people making those comments just wish they had such a good relationship Smile

Post # 4
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

For whatever reason, people always want others to be miserable in their marriage. You and your husband love each other, enjoy each other. Eff what the hates have to say 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@misssydneyj: I dont think they meant that your relationship would be doomed to fail..I think they all probably thought in their heads that you two were moving too fast. Honestly, I can see where they are coming from. Just because I, or others think that though, does NOT mean that your relationship will fail. But odds are it will have periods of ups and downs as time passes..(as mostly all relationships have regardless of how long people are together for)

Post # 7
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Fiance and i moved fast too. No one says anything like that to our faces but there is stuff talked about behind our backs.  We just ignore it but its really hard.

I send you strength 🙂

Post # 8
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

For us it was 9 months. EVERYONE was going on and on about how we would stop being all “lovey dovey” (their words) around 9 months and one old friend told us she was actually taking bets on how long we’d last and if we’d get ever engaged etc etc. Basically the only thing you can do is ignore them and prove them wrong. =)

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have known my husband since I was 11. We started dating when I was 20, engaged at 23, and married at 25. I wanted to be near graduation before marriage (graduated at 26) and we were living with his dad, and not ina rush to have kids (we’re not having kids) so we had time to wait. But, we knew within the first couple of months of dating that we were going to get married.

People told us a lot, “things are going to change so much when you get married.” Mind you, most of these people were single friends….Anyway, nothing changed and we’ve still been getting on famously, with no real fights in years. I mean, we have disagreements, but we work through them.

Some people just think that relationships have to be that way. Let them believe what they want

Post # 11
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

SO hasn’t proposed yet, but I know it’s coming soon, if he proposes this month it will be about six months.  We just try to ignore people’s comments because WE know what we want and what works for us.  I was afraid to tell my parents because of how fast we are going, but my mom is actually really really excited and happy for us.  My parents were engaged after 6 months and have been happily married for 27 years now.

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

It sucks when people cant be happy for you just because their lives are miserable. Honeymoon phase my butt!!! Im glad your happy in your relationship!!!

Post # 14
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I can see why people say these things… my Fiance and I got engaged 6 months after knowing each other… and you know what? It sort of is true… after 6 months, people start getting comfortable around each other to the point of showing their real selves (eg: my Fiance didn’t start farting in front of me until about 8 months into our relationship… he does this every now and then when nobody else is around, which is just gross), and some of it is fabulous, but some of it is frustrating!

I literally thought my Fiance was PERFECT when we first started dating. A year later, I have realised that he’s not Perfect (though, as near as anybody can), but he’s perfect for me– just grin and bear what people say… after about a year or so, that “honeymoon phase” talk should die down.

It’s sort of annoying to keep having people doubt how happy you are, but why the angst? Life’s too short. Smile and nod, and know that you’re happy in your own life.

Post # 15
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

lol @ people thinking a honeymoon phase is in the “months’.  umm, if you plan on being together forever, that’s nothing.  5 years in is still the honeymoon phase if you ask me.  wait till you’re 15-20 years in with grown kids.  then you’ll look back at when you were married for 3-5 years and THAT should be the honeymoon phase.

but no, people are too effin miserable and dysfunctional to even last 5 years these days.

so screw them and enjoy your happiness:)

The topic ‘Vent: I’m getting sick of people saying we’re still in the “honeymoon phase”’ is closed to new replies.

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