Post # 1
I invited my FH to my going away party for my job today. A co-worker asked how we met, so we told the long story of how we were friends in high school for years, lost contact during college, and met again in February. Yes, it seems like a short time to get together and be engaged. She asked how is it working out, and I told her everything is going great now and that we rarely fight because he’s way more laidback than I am (I’m always stressing over something). She said under her breath, “Yeah, it’s that way for now,” and rolled her eyes. Everyone else laughed and said we’re still in the honeymoon phase.
Really?! We’ve been through hell and high water for the past couple of months – dealing with my psycho mom and her bs, dealing with his job injury situation, and trying to save money. I think we passed the honeymoon phase rather quickly, and no we don’t think that marriage is always going to be gumdrops and candy canes. I usually don’t let other people’s opinions bother me too much, but I am so sick of hearing this. I know people who have only been with their partner for 3 months before marriage, but they have been happily married for 20+ years. And I also know people who have been with their partner for years, and have gotten a divorce early into the marriage. Just because we get along well doesn’t mean we’re in the friggin honeymoon phase. My bad for not arguing with FH every chance I get!
Ugh. End of my rant lol.
Post # 3
How dare you be happy for longer than 2 months! (or some other arbitrarily determined ‘honeymoon’ period.)
I had a friend in HS that said to me ‘wait until you hit 6 months, that’s when Boyfriend or Best Friend and I started fighting all the time’. Darling Husband and I had been dating for a few weeks.
Fast forward 5 years, guess who’s married and still waiting to hit that ‘fighting all the time period’ and guess who is broken up?
I understand having tiffs and not getting along 100% of the time, but why are you expected to eventually end up miserable in your relationship?
Post # 3
yeah, just because other people aren’t happy in their relationships they want to act like they know more than you, etc. and be really patronizing. My and my Fiance seriously didn’t have ANY arguments about ANYTHING for over two years! my friends couldn’t believe it! i just thought it was a sign of a good relationship – we just get on well!! You’ll have the last laugh when you are celebrating your 20 year anniversary though, remember that the other people making those comments just wish they had such a good relationship
Post # 4
For whatever reason, people always want others to be miserable in their marriage. You and your husband love each other, enjoy each other. Eff what the hates have to say 🙂
Post # 5
@misssydneyj: I dont think they meant that your relationship would be doomed to fail..I think they all probably thought in their heads that you two were moving too fast. Honestly, I can see where they are coming from. Just because I, or others think that though, does NOT mean that your relationship will fail. But odds are it will have periods of ups and downs as time passes..(as mostly all relationships have regardless of how long people are together for)
Post # 6
Exactly!! Who came up with a time period for the honeymoon phase? My mom even said that she doesn’t think we’re really going to get married because (at the time) we weren’t at the 6 month mark. Um..I was with a guy for a year and a half, and we didn’t get married, so obviously that theory doesn’t work. FH and I haven’t had any serious arguments. We have our brief debates – we both say our opinions, come up with a solution, then let it go. We both don’t see the point in arguing, and he is way more laidback. Geesh, people act like marriage is all about fighting, bickering, and nagging all the time. If marriage was like that, then why get married? lol
Post # 7
Fiance and i moved fast too. No one says anything like that to our faces but there is stuff talked about behind our backs. We just ignore it but its really hard.
I send you strength 🙂
Post # 8
For us it was 9 months. EVERYONE was going on and on about how we would stop being all “lovey dovey” (their words) around 9 months and one old friend told us she was actually taking bets on how long we’d last and if we’d get ever engaged etc etc. Basically the only thing you can do is ignore them and prove them wrong. =)
Post # 9
@MsNarwhal: I understand that people can say we’re moving too fast. I thought about that when we first got engaged. But my feeling is that we’ve been friends for a long time, so there isn’t much that I don’t know about him. Also, I’ve dated guys for years and obviously those didn’t work out lol. We’ve been through a lot together in this short time, so we know what we’re getting ourselves into. Like I said before, there have been couples who have been together for 10 years, and break up because they truly don’t know each other. I think it depends on the situations and the two people. I can definitely say we have been through a lot of ups and downs since we’ve been together. I think people say that to me because I’m “young” – I’ll be 23 next week. So they act like I’m some naiive person that thinks marriage is going to be full of Skittle rainbows. It gets irritating when no one takes you seriously.
Post # 10
I have known my husband since I was 11. We started dating when I was 20, engaged at 23, and married at 25. I wanted to be near graduation before marriage (graduated at 26) and we were living with his dad, and not ina rush to have kids (we’re not having kids) so we had time to wait. But, we knew within the first couple of months of dating that we were going to get married.
People told us a lot, “things are going to change so much when you get married.” Mind you, most of these people were single friends….Anyway, nothing changed and we’ve still been getting on famously, with no real fights in years. I mean, we have disagreements, but we work through them.
Some people just think that relationships have to be that way. Let them believe what they want
Post # 11
SO hasn’t proposed yet, but I know it’s coming soon, if he proposes this month it will be about six months. We just try to ignore people’s comments because WE know what we want and what works for us. I was afraid to tell my parents because of how fast we are going, but my mom is actually really really excited and happy for us. My parents were engaged after 6 months and have been happily married for 27 years now.
Post # 12
@MrsSl82be: We’ve known each other since we were 15 and 16, but he was the star basketball player at our high school, so that would have never worked lol. Plus, he was going through a lot with his dad so we were just really good friends. During college, we lived in different cities, so we lost communication for a while. Then, we met again and things just progressed. So I can kinda relate to you. We have our debates, but we don’t yell, curse, or insult each other. We just say what’s on our minds, and then come up with a solution. I don’t know why people think that it’s bad to not contantly fight with your partner lol.
Post # 13
It sucks when people cant be happy for you just because their lives are miserable. Honeymoon phase my butt!!! Im glad your happy in your relationship!!!
Post # 14
I can see why people say these things… my Fiance and I got engaged 6 months after knowing each other… and you know what? It sort of is true… after 6 months, people start getting comfortable around each other to the point of showing their real selves (eg: my Fiance didn’t start farting in front of me until about 8 months into our relationship… he does this every now and then when nobody else is around, which is just gross), and some of it is fabulous, but some of it is frustrating!
I literally thought my Fiance was PERFECT when we first started dating. A year later, I have realised that he’s not Perfect (though, as near as anybody can), but he’s perfect for me– just grin and bear what people say… after about a year or so, that “honeymoon phase” talk should die down.
It’s sort of annoying to keep having people doubt how happy you are, but why the angst? Life’s too short. Smile and nod, and know that you’re happy in your own life.
Post # 15
lol @ people thinking a honeymoon phase is in the “months’. umm, if you plan on being together forever, that’s nothing. 5 years in is still the honeymoon phase if you ask me. wait till you’re 15-20 years in with grown kids. then you’ll look back at when you were married for 3-5 years and THAT should be the honeymoon phase.
but no, people are too effin miserable and dysfunctional to even last 5 years these days.
so screw them and enjoy your happiness:)