(Closed) Vent – I'm on the Edge of my Seat…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@missmonsterjeep:  It could be that he’s still a little bit nervous. Yeah, you guys are actively planning a wedding and everything, but it might not feel “real” for him until he actually proposes. That’s a big decision and a big step for a couple to take. Or maybe he’s just feeling really pressured because so many people are pushing him to propose. If he wants to make the proposal special then he might be holding off until he feels like he can surprise you.

I don’t think you’re being ridiculous, but I do think you should gently talk to him about how his constantly showing off the ring/talking about wedding plans/not proposing is making you anxious. You don’t need to say “Propose now or begone!” but maybe you could ask that he keep the ring in a private place so you don’t have to look at it and wonder why it’s in the box instead of on your finger?

As for the vacation, as difficult as it is, just focus on being in the moment. If you’re thinking about the ring the entire time then you are going to be disappointed if it doesn’t happen (and if he wants it to be a surprise then it might not happen). Just keep yourself busy and focus on relaxing and enjoying your time alone together.

Good luck! Hope everything works out!

Post # 5
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I so understand you! We have the ring too, it is in the box and in the bag he bought it in as well, just like you, but of course, he is not ready to propose yet. He says he wants to marry me, asked me questions about the wedding (and I said there won’t be any discussion about it until we’re engaged), and he agrees with all the reasons I give him to get married. My parents are coming next weekend, and since I see them only 3 or 4 times a year, that would have been awesome to tell them in person. But no, this weekend just ended (the last one befor they come), the ring is in the box, in the bag, doing nothing (except driving me crazy). My best friend knows about it, and she said it was crazy, because once you are willing to buy a ring, you are engaged, according to her. 

Well I just think I’ll show it to my mom when she comes, I’ll put it on my finger, we’ll go ahhh and ohhhh and I’ll put it back. Seriously! I’m not waiting until he asks, because then I will have to tell her on Skype or over the phone, and I’m more than fed up about waiting (also, I’m 37 years old, never been engaged or married even though I’ve been in a few long term relationships, so you can imagine how I just can’t wait to share that moment with my mom or my friends!!!!)

So you see, I’m not reasonable at all. In comparison, you sound a lot more reasonable and patient than me! (I told him about me wanting us to get engaged six months ago, and we only had the ring for 2 weeks, but it feels like an eternity). 

 

Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@missmonsterjeep:  Keep the faith 🙂 Fiance and I went ring shopping about six months ago and found the best one–and it sat in our linen closet in the bag (seriously I had to stare at the bag every time I put away the towels… ugh). But he was just waiting for the perfect time to propose–apparently he had an idea in his mind long before we even went ring shopping, and wanted to wait for that. If you’re getting anxious, I would talk to him. Some guys just don’t understand why “the ring” is so important. But clearly you’re in love and that is so, so amazing! I think if you explain to him why the proposal and ring is important to you, he’ll come through! Good luck!

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