- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
I apologize in advance. I know all of us “waiting bees” are probably at the edge of our seats, and just wish the SO would propose already… I’m just being emotional and frustrated about this little waiting game we have going here.
We’ve been together almost 8 years (in August). We bought a house last year in May 2012 and have always kind of known that we’d be together forever. We started dating in high school, and he used to ask me all the time to marry him when I was 18-20, but I felt I was too young and had too much to accomplish first.
Fast forward to last year. We had broken up a few months, and upon getting back together (realizing that being apart wasn’t an option — we resolved all differences and are a million times stronger now because of it), I guess the light-bulb went off that he had screwed up and was so lucky to have me back, he had to marry me. Thus, the conversation began again about the time we started looking to buy a home. We didn’t really discuss it actively again until about October of last year, and for a few months, talked openly of rings and what I’d want. After deciding he wanted to buy my ring, I picked three styles I liked and he chose one and purchased it. Since then, it’s been in the box — and in the bag — that he got it in. Now it’s almost the middle of May! Arghdfksjgn.
We openly talk about the wedding and are planning it, but he hasn’t proposed yet. He said that he wants to have “his plan” and do it the right way, since he knows I want it to be special, of course. He is fine with telling everyone that he bought my ring and one night a few weeks ago had me take a picture of it (and repeatedly had me “re-take” the picture so it was the “best” possible view of it) to send to his mom and his sister. At a wedding we attended recently for a couple we are close to, he told the groom that we are planning a wedding right in front of me, but I wanted to say, “Hello! Where’s the ring on my finger?!” His mother, his father, his siblings, my family, and our friends all have bugged him about it — “What the hell? When are you going to give her the ring?” His mother quipped, in front of both of us, that “she better have a sparkly finger next time I see you guys!”
Now I know that if I was in his place, I’d feel a lot of undue pressure. Yes, it’s been eight years — so from my perspective, it’s like — COME ON, DO IT! I can, however, understand that he wants it to be perfect, he needs time, he feels pressured by everyone and continued jibes about it will probably make him wait longer now, it seems, but it drives me crazy that we’re doing this so back-ass-wards. Why can you discuss colors with me, venues (and tell me we should go see them), catering, decor, my dress, YOUR TUX and how your groomsmen should look — and you stillllllll won’t pop the question?!
Le sigh. At this point, we’re going away next weekend to West Virginia, which we both love and going there is like our sanctuary. It’s our special place. We have had this trip booked since February, so I’m wondering if he’s intending to propose there.. But I have no idea. He leaves the ring out in the open, un-concealed and un-hidden from me. I can’t decide whether he’s procrastinating because he just isn’t making this a priority, or if he has some grand scheme that I can’t sniff out. I know I shouldn’t keep disappointing myself with expecting it and then letting myself down, and I know it’s my fault for getting hyped up and then sad about it, but I can’t help it.
Sorry for the long vent. You get an e-cookie if you got this far. I’m just wondering about how you all feel, or felt, at this stage of the game. Am I being ridiculous? I’m hoping for this vacation to be “IT!” so that I can post my “YAY, I’m finally no longer waiting” thread when we get back, but now I’m worried that I’ll just let myself down after the weekend is over and we go back home, minus a sparkly on my hand. What do you do when you get yourself all worked up over this proposal-to-come-at-a-very-ambiguous-time situation?
Or rather, does anyone have some heart-warming stories about their proposal finally coming after a long wait that might make me feel better about my own waiting? Haha. Jeesh, guess I’m just needy today..