(Closed) VENT-incredibly angry and hurt

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46470 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hope you feel better.

Post # 5
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Bellanouva: I really believe that people like this will be found out in the end for the tools that they are…and it’s frustrating because you can never say or do anything because somehow YOU end up looking like the a-hole. I hope she gets “found out” soon. And that you’re doing ok emotionally. *hugs* I have to get off weddingbee soon (damn job…lol), but I’ll be sending good thoughts your way today ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Bellanouva: I’ve read your other threads about your sister and all I can say is that I’m very sorry. It is heartbreaking when the people who are supposed to be the closest to you and care the most about you don’t do any of those things.

I’ve had a similar situation with my dad, for years I tried so hard and I got so upset when we kept falling back into the same old patterns, it was like every time we talked I felt sure things were going to change and they never did. So I took a hard decision, I decided to stop wasting my energy on him and focus on the other fantastic people in my life. I didn’t completely cut ties with him but I cut down contact to a few phone calls a year and I never once brought up emotions, the past or our relationship, just stayed on ‘safe’ topics. Now it’s about 15 years later and things have actually finally started to improve, I don’t know if it was the fact that once I was out of his life he started realizing something was wrong or just that over the years he’s had time to sort himself out.

My advice would be to stay strong, don’t completely cut your sister out but keep her at a distance. Don’t bring up your relationship again but just treat her like you would a distant cousing you only see once a year.  As for her being Maid/Matron of Honor, you need to do what feels right for you, there’s no right or wrong answer to that question…

Post # 8
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Bellanouva: I’m so sorry about all this B.S. drama you’re dealing with! You just have to ask yourself…what would JWOWW do??? :o)

I hope things get better for you and this terrible situation you’ve been through (with your sister no less!). And it’s not fair for anyone, family or otherwise to choose sides. KARMA always makes herself known. Even if it really sucks waiting for her to show her ugly mug, she’ll come through in the end.. If all else fails start slapping and grab yo-self a handful of hair extensions! Yell

(And I’m not trying to be uncompassionate, just trying to lift your spirits, if possible.)

Post # 9
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry Lady, I wish I could say something that would take the zing out of things for you.  I will just send you good thoughts and internet *HUGS*

Post # 13
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Glad you find some comfort in my story. That sounds like the best thing you can do, we cannot change other people but we can control how we live our own lives, and I’m glad to hear you are choosing to live yours focused on happy and loving people. It’s not easy but you’ll get through it.

Even though I still mourn the relationship with my dad it has made me realise I am incredibly lucky, I have other family members, friends and a fantastic Fiance who are always there for me and now I truly value them.

I have to say I admire your ability to stay civil to your sister and treat her with respect, not many people would be able to do that. Good luck to you.

Post # 14
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Bellanouva: I was hoping to get a laugh! We’ll all be thinking of ya! Hang in there.

Post # 15
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, I’m sorry for the family drama.  I just read the other two threads leading up to this.  (Well your original posts anyway.)  It sounds like whatever anger/abuse issues your dad has, so does the one sister (you and S argued over).  And I’m inclined to say if S is sticking up for them, I think she also might have those issues.  (IE.  She’s not too hard on them, because she might understand where they’re coming from.)  When you factor in that in uncomfortable situations, S flies off the handle and only thinks to “defend herself” with profanities and insults, tells a lot.  Sounds like a cycle of violence your dad has passed on.

I hope it works out for you all.

Post # 16
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Bellanouva: If it makes you feel better, I had a similar situation with a very spoiled, self-indulgent, manipulative brat of a sister. It makes me cringe to know I may receive backlash from sharing…but she is no longer a part of my life. It has been over 2 years since we spoke and I don’t feel an ounce of regret.

I just want you to know that I do understand and it can be frustrating. I hope you don’t have to go to the extremes that I felt I needed to go to. Good luck with your sister and ((HUGS))

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