(Closed) Vent: inviting some people to the dance only?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oy, I’m so sorry!  I don’t think there is much you can do…  It really sucks though…

On the other hand, if I were invited just to the dancing portion of a reception, I probably wouldn’t go because I think it’s rude (like the tiered guest list thing).  Maybe you’ll have people decline?? 

Post # 5
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2002

huge bummer! but i think itll turn out in your favor! so just dance the night away and enjoy 🙂

Post # 6
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

It’s pretty common in the UK to invite people to the dance only, but fire safety numbers aren’t to be messed with.

Post # 7
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unfortunately, you are already stuck with the people your aunt called. In my opinion it is rude to invite people just to the dance, but maybe at this point you should follow-up with a call yourself to express that you do genuinely want them to be there and hope they come so you appear like a gracious hostess. Is there anyway you can include the ones she called to invite to just the dance in the ceremony part as well?

Post # 9
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Good job dealing with this! I definitely agree that it is rude to invite people only to the dancing at your wedding– I’ve had it done to me twice (one couple who did this were new friends and they probably couldn’t invite me to the wedding, and the other couple were people I worked for, so I didn’t expect to be invited to the ceremony).

Although I went both times– they did ask me to, after all, and I was lonely, single, and bored– I felt somewhat insulted by it and wouldn’t go now if someone invited me to the dancing only.

Post # 10
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ve seen it before in my lifetime … it certainly is a local tradition common in some places (particularly rural areas of Canada… “Do drop by for a Drink with the B&G”)

BUT to go and do it without the Bride’s knowledge (or whoever is the HOST… so they’d know the limitations in regards to numbers, fire regulations, alcohol licensing etc) is pretty off-the-wall IMO

I think it is good that you’ve had “the talk” with your Mom & Aunt to lay the realities on the line.  Hopefully that will curtail things from being a free-for-all.

I hope this all turns out ok, and doesn’t cause you any more grief than it has already.


Post # 11
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

In the Maritimes it’s definitely not uncommon for people to be invited to the dance/party portion of a wedding (and I suspect most of the people who were invited by your relatives wouldn’t bat an eye at this or consider it rude), but I definitely can imagine how stressful it is trying to ensure you’re respecting the rules of the hall. At least everyone agreed to stop asking people, so that’s a start.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed that things stay calm and everything goes well. You’ve definitely handled it gracefully so far!

Post # 14
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry, they are acting crazy on you!

Post # 15
9202 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

That sucks!  I just wanted to back you up about inviting people to the dance only, IF that’s what you want to do.  My longtime (10+) sweetie and I are getting married in our small hometown, and we’re having an awesome live band play, so we’re opening up the dancing/music portion to a ton of casual friends / acquaintances.  I don’t think it’s rude and I think people will understand that they didn’t need to see one of the most intimate moments of our lives, but they’ll enjoy the party nonetheless…

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