(Closed) Vent: Is this appalling RSVP rate normal?

posted 6 years ago in Guests
Post # 46
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

OP, I can’t offer a perspective on the RSVPs, because all of my guests RSVP’d, but I just want to offer a perspective on the ”family reunion”.

Someone in my family didn’t invite a bunch of her family to her wedding, because her Fiance had never met them and the numbers would be uneven, and she regrets it to this day. It would likely be the same for your Fiance if he didn’t invite these people.

At my wedding, 60 out of our 75 guests were mine. 15 were my husband’s. He wanted a small wedding. I knew I had to have these people there or I would regret it for the rest of my life and it would ruin my day. He accepted that and let me invite them. He had never met more than half of them. In the end, he had a wonderful time and was really happy to meet all of these people. I had the time of my life and my wedding was probably the best money I ever spent.

If your Fiance is an extravert with a large family, please don’t resent him for wanting them there on the biggest day of his life. And yes, it’s also a family reunion – that’s what weddings most often are. Families often only get together at weddings and funerals.. especially nowadays when people live far apart separated by seas, oceans, states, countries…

Regarding the RSVPs you’re right to be pissed, but don’t be pissed about the guests 🙂 If your Fiance is anything like me then it means the world to him to have these people there and he will remember and appreciate that you ”gave in” on this one and do the same for you in the future.

Post # 47
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think you need to nicely ask your Fiance to follow up with his friends/family. He wanted them, so he deals with them. I think that’s fair!

Post # 48
1703 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We had about a 50% decline rate (Invited 160, had 85 show up). Once we got past the rsvp date, we called up peole who didn’t respond and asked them if they were coming. I think you should definitely have your Fiance follow up with his guests who are non-responders because sometimes people just forget these things, don’t just automatically move them to “no” unless you get a “no”.

Post # 51
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If these are most of your FI’s guests, he needs to follow up with them.  2 days max after voice-calling.  No response=”No”.

Sometimes, some people do forget and other times, they’ve never received the cards.  That actually happened to me once.  I’ve never received the invite (we had the right address and all) and it never got returned to the couple so they gave me a call and asked if I was coming and i said, yes, absolutely after tryng to figure out where the invite went.  No harm, no foul.  

This is why I am adding an extra week after the “unofficial” RSVP deadline to chase down the stragglers and after that, “Sorry, deadline has passed.  We hope to see you after the wedding!”

Post # 52
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

It is annoying when people don’t reply by the RSVP date as it’s frustrating for you as you want to know offical numbers etc for the caterer, seating arrangements etc, but sometimes people do just forget (“I’ll send that RSVP at the end of the week” sort of thing and then just forget) and some people just can’t be bothered which is annoying. I’d get in contact with them and just say ‘we haven’t heard from you regarding the wedding, please can you let us know by this date as our final numbers have to be given to the caterer on that date. Thank you.’….something like that?  

Post # 53
11 posts
  • Wedding: April 2016

I just stopped dealing with that a few days ago.  I had about 30 people (out of 100) that did not RSVP by the requested date.  I texted a few people and facebook messaged the others, there were no apologizes given by anyone just “i’ll be there” or “can’t make it”.

I finally have my count today, but I had to hunt people down for the answer !

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