- 10 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
Ok ladies. So I really don’t expect any infinite words of wisdom (I really know what I should do deep down, I’m just holding off b/c of the explosion that will come after my honesty…) I just need to get this off my chest and see if I’ve really lost my mind or what…
So I have a very close core group of girlfriends, we’re like sisters. Truly. One of them just moved a block away from me, one lives across town, one lives in a big city a few states away and one lives about an hour and a half away. They all grew up together and they stayed in touch but not all that close. I moved in with one of the girls about 6 years ago (wow–6 years!) and slowly they all got close again so I guess I’m not really “new” to the group, the group has just gotten closer in the last 6 years. We do holidays together, everything, all of our moms get together with us once a summer and we do a mother/daughter day–I mean we are tight.
SO about a year and a half ago one of the girls invited her sister in-law to come have dinner with us, we all clicked and she was totally goofy and seemed to fit in really well. The two of us especially hit it off b/c we had a break on campus at the same time so we had lunch together 3 times a week so we were CONSTANTLY together, it was great b/c I had someone I could hang out with during the day when everyone else was at work. She went through a really tough time after her fiance and her broke up (they were 20/21 when they got engaged and NOT ready, she’s 24 now and honestly I don’t think she’d be ready to get married) and she actually moved in with my SO and I for a while so she could get back on her feet. We really took care of her and her dog, she lived her rent free. I know she appreciated it but she never really went grocery shopping, but I didn’t think much of it (until now). Last year around this time my SO and I went through our only really rough patch, it was basically the time where we were deciding whether this was “it” forever and are really great now but last year I was in a rough spot so she supported me emotionally through that and I appreciated it SOOOO much–I do NOT take that lightly.
She has tried dating a couple of times and it hasn’t worked out, one guy had just gotten a divorce and I had advised her to steer clear of that, we actually talked about it for about 4 hours one night and she still hooked up with him. I personally don’t think it’s ok to “hook up” anyway but with someone going through a divorce?! I mean this was within weeks. So she didn’t listen to my advice then and brushed it off like it didn’t even happen. I don’t expect her to TAKE my advice, but at least consider it! Then she helped me get through my stats class last semester (I’m not a math genius!) and was offered an undergrad. teaching assistant position (HUGE deal on my campus-would get me into grad school) and she said: “Is there a phone-a-friend option in class?” Um. Thanks. SOOO again–these are things over time that have added up (trust me there are TONS more but I think most everyone has probably already stopped reading because they have better things to do so I’ll stop haha).
Initially I thought the “group” would be my bridesmaids but we don’t want a 6/7 person each bridal party, the church honestly doesn’t have the space anyway! So she and one of the other girls (there are 4 of them that I’m MUCH closer to on many levels) I decided would read and do guestbook, stuff like that (our sisters will be candle lighters). Well I hear from one of the other girls that she is upset she’s not a bridesmaid but when I talked to her and tried to explain myself she lied to me and said “Whatever, it’s not like I really care” (I would believe the other girl any day over her honestly, even if that sounds catty) and she couldln’t be honest with me. So now I’m frustrated with her all the time because she can’t be honest with me.
OH! And side note? She didn’t go to one of the girls bridal shower yesterday because she was “sick” but she came over to watch a movie after the shower and was fine…really?! She didn’t ask how the shower was or apologize or anything.
Clearly I have a chip on my shoulder, but I’m SO frustrated I might burst! I am to the point I don’t even want her that involved because she might cause a scene. 🙁