- 6 years ago
A few weeks ago my little sister’s boyfriend took her to dinner, gave her a blue topaz ring and told her he’s totally fallen in love with her. She’s 27, he’s 28 and they’ve been dating for about six months. I think this is a lovely romantic thing for a guy to do.
So I’m doing my grocery shopping after work today and I bump into him. I tell him it was so romantic what he did for Sarah, and what a pretty ring. He jokingly says “Ha, now I’ll have to do something even more impressive when I propose to her!”
I laugh along with him, but inside I’m hurt because my boyfriend wouldn’t even consider proposing to me, never mind mention it to my family. This guy has obviously considered the possibility of proposing to my sister after dating her for only six months, and I’m willing to bet she’ll have a real ring on her finger within the next year.
I’m not jealous of my sister – I’m not attracted to her boyfriend, and I’m glad she has someone who loves her because her previous boyfriend really strung her along and messed her about. But I sort of feel like, why does this kind of thing never happen to me? I’m seven years older than her, and no guy has ever loved me enough to give me any kind of ring, and no guy has even joked about wanting to marry me.
This summer I’m attending three weddings, and in every case the bride is between three and ten years younger than me, and was proposed to in less time than I’ve been dating my boyfriend. I just feel really hurt and unloved, and excluded from a normal life which progresses naturally from dating to marriage and family. I’m just as kind and decent and pretty as anyone else, so why have I never been loved and wanted like everyone else is? I want all of those things like commitment and love and children, but nobody wants me 🙁
I suppose I’m just feeling sorry for myself, not only because my boyfriend doesn’t want to marry me, but also because none of my previous boyfriends wanted to marry me either. I’ve had four previous relationships which lasted 2-3 years and those guys didn’t want me either. #1 dumped me for someone else, #2 and 3 didn’t propose so I ended it and they didn’t pursue me (I dated #3 for 2.5 years and was never even invited to his parents’ home). #4 said he didn’t want to get married and left me after 2.5 years because I kept raising the issue. Then I see all of these younger women who’ve been proposed to after 1-2 year relationships, and I feel jealous because I’m older and I’ve tried so many times but nobody ever wants me.
I don’t exactly know what my point is here… I suppose I’m just venting. Nobody ever said that life was fair 🙁