- 2 years ago
- Wedding: June 2019
I feel like this is going to be more of a rant or a vent than anything else, but oh my God I am so upset by my family. I guess it kinda all started when my mother (who has 7 siblings) was diagnosed with a food addiction and went on the strictest diet of all time. No flour of ANY kind. No sugar of ANY kind. She weighs her food at all meals and can only have certain amounts of dairy, starch, fruits, veggies…you get the idea. She brings her own foods to restaurants, never eats birthday cake (though she makes us cake and bread all the time even though she can’t eat them) or anything else like that. She lost 200 pounds and has looked downright amazing for the last 23 years that she’s managed to live this way. It’s incredible and she deserves so much respect for this horrific diet.
(She laughs when people pity her and she says “I’m counting on God having a mountain of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ready for me when I die.” She has a really good sense of humor about it all, miraculously.)
And, for the most part, her enormous family has supported her.
But despite the massive weight loss, her sister-in-law, who I’ll call Pam, has never believed her. On anything. She thinks it’s a farce, something to get attention. Pam herself is morbidly obese, and at first, my mother shrugged it off as just an insecurity thing. No big deal. Moving on in life. Everyone has problems, and Pam’s is insecurity. Okay.
Well, for the past several years, things have gotten severely worse. Pam’s husband, my mother’s brother, we’ll call him Steve, has joined Pam in this mockery of my mother (yes, this has gone on for 23 years, but my mother has ignored it like a champ until her brother got involved). My mother is very family-centered, and she’s not stupid. She probably worried that Steve was gonna bend to Pam’s influences. And that’s exactly what happened. Their daughter, my cousin who I’ll call Sara, is very close with my sister. Or, rather, WAS very close with my sister. Pam has influenced Sara to believe that my mother is very sick in the head, and playing with my sister was “dangerous” or some other nonsense like that.
Well, my sister, upon hearing about this, broke down in tears. And that was the first stage in this horror. My sister has not seen Sara in about 5 years now. They have skipped all family reunions for about 5 years.
The second stage was when my grandparents, my mom and Steve’s parents, got very sick. Grandpa has COPD and severe arthritis, and my grandma has a host of issues, almost everything from minor dementia to fibromyalgia to an oxycodone addiction. Obviously, they couldn’t live in their mansion anymore, so they had to sell it. Now, when you own a mansion, you own a ton of stuff. So my grandparents decided to have a yard sale and make some profit from the stuff that their 8 kids didn’t want.
Pam and Steve allegedly stole some stuff from the yard sale. I don’t know details, but I do know that they own several things my grandfather claims was at the yard sale and he didn’t receive moeny for them. Pam and Steve claim to have given money, but the money was never found. Pam and Steve are unsympathetic and say “Well that’s too bad we paid for these things and we’re not giving you more.”
Well, after the yard sale, Pam and Steve came by to help them move into their smaller house. They took a huge truck of everything from the grandfather clock to some procelain angels that my grandmother treasured…and disappeared. A whole truck of my grandparents’ stuff, just gone. They kept everything in their house and insist to this day that my poor sick grandparents verbally told them they could keep the stuff.
Which is nonsense. My grandfather would rather die than give away that grandfather clock, and my grandmother would NEVER get rid of her angels.
All of the other 7 kids believe my grandparents and harrassed Steve and Pam relentlessly, demanding to give Grandma and Grandpa their stuff back. And Steve and Pam continue to refuse. Eventually, my grandparents gave up and said it was just a lost cause.
All of this came to a head a few days ago, when Steve and Pam, completely out of the blue, offer to host Thanksgiving at their house this year. Totally out of the blue. Before that, none of the other 7 kids were even talking to them, and my mother had mentally started to just disown Steve entirely, especially with all the diet mockery. When we got the invitation, we were just stunned, and my dear sweet mother made the mistake to call Steve and confirm that this is what he wanted to do.
Maybe Steve was nice now.
Maybe things were okay.
Well, lo and behold, guess who answers the phone. Yup. Pam. And I don’t know what was said on the phone, but when my mom walked out of the living room after the conversation ended, she was just in tears.
I hate seeing my mother sad. I hate that my grandpa misses the damn grandfather clock. I hate that my grandmother misses her angels. But most of all, I hate that my poor mother has to suffer from the lack of support from a brother that she was so close with before the last few years.
I also hate that my sister misses Sara all the time.
I hate that my grandparents are so sick.
And I am just so sick of being angry. So thanks for letting me rant.