(Closed) Vent! MOH/sister is being a total brat about the dress

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

You’re being very reasonable with her- the deadline’s good. She just needs to stop complaning and wear the chiffon, for crying out loud. *Especially* since you’re only talking around $109- considering that the two dresses I’ve worn were over $200, I would wear a $100 trash bag and smile pretty for the bride.

She can not wear whatever she wants as Maid/Matron of Honor, nor does chiffon highlight “flaws.” That dress is gorgeous.

Post # 4
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

It’s your wedding. She needs to just wear the darn dress. This isn’t about her. I’d be more firm about the situation and tell her she doesn’t have a choice; this isn’t open for debate.

Post # 6
Member
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i love the dress that you chose.  and the price is great for such a beauty.  i hope your sister comes to her senses.  good luck.

Post # 7
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re being completely reasonable and sounds like your sister is just being a brat. 

Post # 9
Member
2601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

At some point you have to stop arguing and pull a “I Tarzan, you Jane” moment. 

I’d sit down with her and basically tell her how it is: it’s YOUR wedding and she is your Maid/Matron of Honor. This is the dress. 

To me (medically-UNtrained me!), it sounds like she has body issues, which transcend chiffon and sizing and work their way into general control issues, which may be just what’s going on. You can reassure her that she’ll look gorgeous for the wedding and that it would make you feel so proud to have her next to you on the big day. You can reiterate that you would never do anything to make her look bad; you just have a certain vision for the day and would like her to be a part of it. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2005

Well, I would say that it is this dress or you are out of the wedding.  You don’t need this stress!  I was 17 when my sister got married (she is 6 years older) and I gave her a hard time about the dress she chose.  So, she gave me the same ultimatum — I can wear what she picked and stand with her or I can wear what I want and sit in the audience.  I wore the dress she picked and it really was beautiful. 

Post # 11
Member
8683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What were the first initial reqirements that you gave the girls when you said they could choose their own dresses? Did you ask her a budget for the dress. Even though the dresses you found are on the cheap end of Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses maybe she can not afford it?

I agree she is being a brat but she might also be frustrated because you are chopping and changing what you want. You told her she could choose a dres of her liking to begin with but are now saying you have to wear this one.

Also I think it always helps to remember that your significant life milestones are to going to change someone elses attitude/personality.

Honestly since the dress doesn’t look like it would be too unflattering on anyone if you want her to wear the dress maybe paying for it yourself might be the best option. That way she can’t complain.

Post # 12
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I wouldn’t try to reason with her. This isn’t up for discussion, so convincing her with reason is irrelevent. If she wants to participate in the wedding, she wears the dress. PP is right. You’re Tarzan!

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

It’s a gorgeous dress, she’s just being a brat!

Post # 16
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2005

@MrsWTD:  Well a shower is a good reason (totally selfish but FINE BY ME) to keep her in the wedding.  I suppose that would be pretty extreme.  My sister was pretty upset when she said that and I think it woke me up the severity of my behavior.  Plus, she isn’t a teenager anymore.

The topic ‘Vent! MOH/sister is being a total brat about the dress’ is closed to new replies.

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