(Closed) VENT Mom ruined my wedding dress!

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 32
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I completely understand your frustration. I loved your dress, too! I like PP idea of shortening and maybe even dying it & you could rock it again at another event? I’m so sorry & it’s okay to feel the way you do.

Post # 33
3103 posts
Sugar bee

I seem to be an outlier, I’d be living with my mother i this happened to me.

She took it upon herself to soak the bottom half of your dress in heavy stain remover, which bleached it and ruined it.  She should have respected your request to hold off while you looked into options for trying to wash it.

Post # 34
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

Not surprised your getting some of these comments bee. What you comment can sometimes come across as insensitive and unhelpful.  But re: your dress-

I just saw your dress in one of your old posts and given the style, it definitely looks like you have some options.

1. Sell the top and throw the ruined skirt. I can see it’s a set but I’m sure that to some other bride they could make it work with a different skirt 

2. Box it anyway – you won’t see the very bottom 2/3 of the ruined skirt most likely 

3. Donate it and some kids will love playing dress up with it! 

Post # 35
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

I mean this is not really like losing your wedding band. You don’t wear your wedding dress every day 

Post # 36
6217 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
zzar45 :  lol, I disagree with the majority here. I mean yes, it’s the chance you take when leaving property with someone else but… you’d have to be completely oblivious. Willfully so, to think you can do at home what a professional couldn’t. Your mom was out of line, IMO. And she knows it and now feels bad after the fact. Fat lot of good that does. I wouldn’t do anything about it, in the end it’s just a dress and she knows she screwed up without being told.

That said, I’d try to find something interesting to do with the scraps, like mat a wedding photo, make a tree ornament, make a christening dress if that’s your thing, convert it to a sexy minidress for your anniversary, etc. that way you don’t lose it entirely. 

Post # 37
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

Can you post the ruined pic?

Post # 38
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I wonder if there’s  a way that you can now modify the dress and turn it into something you can wear or use again? Another dress or completely repurposed? So it’s not just an old wedding dress taking up space in your closet? Quilt pieces? Something else?

Post # 39
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

Hmm yes she accidentally ruined your dress. But the wedding is over. It’s not like you’ll get married in it again. You say at that point you weren’t really thinking of selling it. Plus, these things can really be fixed in the hands of a good tailor. I’ve checked out your dress, you can always have the skirt cut out and wear it somewhere else.

As a child I’m sure you’ve accidentally ruined your mom’s stuff, shit happens.

Post # 41
804 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry your dress got ruined. I haven’t had mine cleaned yet, it’s not stained or anything and I’m afraid of something happening it even though I’m just going to keep it and it’ll probably end up in the attic. If your dress is a top and skirt could you maybe have the skirt part remade and at least that way have most of your original dress?

Post # 42
40 posts
  • Wedding: August 2019

I’m sorry this happened to you. I also have a mother who would also go ahead and take initiative. I love her so much but I would be irritated too. Just recognize that she had the best intentions and wanted to help, and she already feels likely more awful than you, and probably already knows that you are upset. My wedding isn’t for two weeks still, but I don’t feel like I have the sentimental attachment to my dress and I don’t want it to sit in my closet for years to come. I’m not sure what your thought was possibly by keeping it, buy my mother’s dress sat in a box for over 30 years and we just pulled it out and it was super yellowed and dated. I think if you kept it it would likely sit in a box for years before you eventually tossed it. If you’d wanted to keep it for your future daughter, maybe save your veil or jewellery that she could potentially use? That offers a bit more flexibility. I would donate it to a bride who can’t afford a dress who might be able to fix it/hem it, or donate it to an organization that makes christening gowns! It sucks that you don’t have the option to keep it or sell it like you wanted, but you can still choose what to do with it after the fact. Good luck, and try not to let it eat away at you. It will seem like a small issue a year or two from now 🙂

Post # 43
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Aw, I’m sorry. Leaving your dress with someone doesn’t mean they can stick in in bleach after you specifically said not to. I guess she was trying to help, but still. She could have at least started with warm soapy water, which wouldn’t have done any harm. 

Post # 44
718 posts
Busy bee

I’d be incredibly annoyed as well! I know your mom was simply trying to help but when a professional drycleaner cleans it multiple times and has a discussion at length about how delicate it is, how nervous he is to take it any farther……we’ll my first instinct would not be ‘F him, I’ll just go home and soak it in something stronger’. 

Its been 4 days since you posted, I’m hoping you’re coming to terms with it. If you are at all religious or planning to have children and baptizing them, I think the christening gown idea is lovely. As is the stillborn baby gown.

Post # 45
427 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
cmsgirl :  

I love your idea about donating to an organization which helps heartbroken parents of stillborn babies! 

OP, I’m sorry that this happened to you. I only hope that you didn’t go off on your mother. 

The topic ‘VENT Mom ruined my wedding dress!’ is closed to new replies.

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