(Closed) VENT: My bridesmaid forgot my birthday

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@CathleenG: Honestly I think you are overreacting.

She called you on your birthday and wished you a happy birthday and she’s wanting to take you out to dinner.

Just because you spent $100 on her b-day dinner doesn’t mean she has to spend that much on you. The money doesn’t represent how much you care about each other/how much your friendship means.

If she just went to a shower and has your wedding as well she may be really strapped for cash right now and this is all she can afford.

Also, she might have been rushing out the door the morning of your birthday and then really not had time to pick up the phone until that night. I really think you are thinking to much into it, just enjoy the fact that your friend wants to take you to dinner.

Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not sure why you’re upset? She didn’t forget about your birthday, she called you that day. And I know I personally could not afford to spend $100 on someone’s birthday, I spent less than $20 on FI’s birthday present. She’s taking you out to eat, which is the same thing you did for her, so the thought is there.

Post # 5
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you are over reacting too. She did wish you a happy brithday on your birthday, who cares if it was later in the day.

Comepletely agree with PP that if she just went to a shower and is spending money on your wedding and Christmas coming, she really might be strapped for cash. Just appreciate that she wants to celebrate with you.

Post # 6
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@CathleenG: Ummmm…. ok, I’m just going to be honest. I know some people think birthdays are a big deal, I don’t get it. I feel like after the age of about 10, it’s just not a big deal anymore. You didn’t die for a year, woohoo! We don’t celebrate birthdays after age 18 in my family so maybe I’m just a weirdo. But anyway, just because you spent [X] amount of money on her birthday and made it a big deal is no way binds her to do the same. She called you, she wants to take you out, she did not forget let’s be honest. Say thanks and enjoy a tasty burger.

Post # 7
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry, I know how it feels to have your birthday overlooked. But KatNYC2011 has a good point–she’s probably really broke right now :(. I think maybe let this year slide and just not spend as much on her next year to fit it into a budget she’s more comfortable reciprocating.

If it makes you feel better, I spend my birthday this year at someone else’s rehearsal dinner. Sometimes birthdays just lose importance as they get surrounded by life events.

Post # 8
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I personally could care less about my birthday and feel guilty when friends get me gifts, want to go out, etc. 

I do always send birthday cards and call to say happy birthday – and if we’re able to get together, I will order dessert or bring wine for their ‘birthday’ but if it doesn’t happen, I’d like to think it’s not a big deal?

Post # 9
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KatNYC2011:  I completely agree.

@CathleenG:  If she called you on your birthday, she didn’t forget it.  I love birthdays too, but getting heated because she didn’t say something first thing in the morning is not fair to her, at all.  Also, you say you don’t want anything, but you are being really derogatory about her restaurant pick. 

It is important to remember to be appreciative of your friends, particularly if they are your bridesmaids and are thus likely spending money on being in your wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She didn’t forget. She just didn’t acknowledge your birthday on your terms. But, we don’t get to set the terms.

Post # 11
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@CathleenG:  To answer your qestions: yes, you are over reacting. No, please don’t say anything. I guess for me birthdays are just like any other days. I don’t make a big deal out of them and my friends don’t either. I’m sorry you feel like you are being stiffed even though ‘it’s not about the money’ She called you. She’s taking you out to eat. Let it go. Happy birthday!

Post # 14
Member
775 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you should be happy she called you honestly and acknowleged it. NONE of my friends or family know my birthday (unless we are facebook friends)…not even my bridesmaids! I guess it’s just not something we care about. 

Post # 15
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My Bridesmaid completely forgot my birthday this year and my other bridesmaid only called after 7pm- I was dissapointed but got over it. I think appreciate she even called you and is happy to take you to dinner, it shouldnt matter how much money is spent.

The topic ‘VENT: My bridesmaid forgot my birthday’ is closed to new replies.

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