Post # 1
I consider myself to be a pretty chill bride. I am pretty relaxed about the whole thing and have taken a few bumps in the road in stride (my brother having difficulty getting off to come to the wedding, changing my original date so my Maid/Matron of Honor could be there, not getting the original menu I wanted, etc) but apparently I finally found my breaking point: the rehearsal dinner.
I realized in talking to my pastor that we hadn’t set an official time for the rehearsal and the dinner afterward. I asked my Fiance to call his groomsmen to find out if a 5pm rehearsal followed by dinner at 6pm would work for them, thinking that if we absolutely had to, we could do 6 instead. Well, lo and behold, one of the groomsmen can’t be there until 6:30 at the earliest. Which would mean dinner at 7:30, home around 9:00. For someone who has to eat lunch at 10:45 (I’m a teacher, I don’t get a choice), I will be ready to eat an oxen at 7:30. I also had activities planned with my BMs (we’re having a sleepover) before a relatively early bed time since we go to the salon at 9:00am.
I threw myself a pity party at my ruined plans, took a ride on the Whambulance to crazy town, and my Fiance offered some cheese to go with the whine. I contemplated a number of rather rude options (having dinner first and the rehearsal when Groomsmen can get there, have the rehearsal at 6 and plan on him being late, telling Groomsmen to ask off early, etc) and ultimately decided that it was not fair of me to ask everyone to alter their schedules to fit my imagined time line so we will plan on a 6:30 rehearsal and 7:30 dinner.
So I will build a bridge and get over it and have a snack in the afternoon. I need to be considerate of the schedules of friends and family and it certainly wouldn’t be fair to ask them to take off work or rearrange their schedules just to suit my picture perfect schedule.
Post # 2
As someone who has been in multiple weddings and has a really hard time getting off work on Fridays, I thank you on this GM’s behalf. It sounds like the bridezilla moment was mostly in your head and you actually handled it very well 🙂
Post # 3
This was incredibly enjoyable to read (I love your writing style and use of hilarious words). I’m glad things have settled, or you at least figured out a plan. I’m sure your Groomsmen will appreciate it.
Post # 4
Does he really need to be at the rehersal? Has he been in a wedding before? You could just have the rehearsal without him at 6 and have someone fill him in when he arrives for dinner. Rehearsals are nice to ease nerves and all but its really just walk in, walk out, if his partner bridesmaid will be at rehearsal she can just take the lead. Just another option.
Post # 5
OP you also have the choice of having the rehearasal without that particular groomsman if he would be the only one who has a difficult time getting there. It’s not a major broadway musical and I am sure he would have no problem finding his way up and down the aisle if he misses the rehearsal.
Post # 6
loudsilence99: I wouldnt reschedule everything around the one groomsman.
We had a groomsman miss the rehearsal bc he had to work and it was perfectly fine. Its not rocket science
Post # 7
This is why you just set a time and ask everyone to be there. If they can’t, they can’t, and it’s not hard to figure out how to walk down the aisle. The other attendants can fill him in day of.
Or, you know, have a big snack and just do it at 6:30 if you’ve already decided to accomodate his schedule. I hear ya on not being able to wait to eat until 7:30.
This is not something that is going to make or break your wedding. Take a deep breath.
Post # 8
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
Thank you for sharing. I forgot all about the whambulance. I’m going to remember that for my children.
Seriously now, if that is your only bridezilla moment and your wedding is in November kudos to you.
Post # 9
Our ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner were one of the only snafus we had as well (minus the power going out during the reception and my photo booth not showing up, ha!). We had a semi-destination wedding at 2 hours away and it was impossible for all of us to get there at the same time. So we ended up having dinner first and a quick 15-20 minute rehearsal afterwards, in the dark! We got married in the desert but had the property for the whole weekend, so it worked out fine.
You’ve got a great attitude and in the grand scheme of it all, this won’t even phase you. You’re almost there!!
Post # 10
You handled it well. You could also have the rehearsal without him. It’s not rocket science. Someone can just point him in the right direction at the church.
Post # 11
loudsilence99: Its good you realized this, so many people don’t. Good on you! If this is the only snaffoo in your whole process, I’m glad for you 🙂
Post # 12
loudsilence99: Keep in mind that the rehearsal is really not that important – we only had about 50% of our bridal party attend ours because we had it on a Thursday (venue was closed the Friday before our wedding). It was NOT a big deal at all! As long as your Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man attend, you should be fine 🙂
I am a teacher as well, I eat at 11:30 so I feel your pain! Make sure you have a few snacks beforehand -that’s easily resolved 🙂
Post # 13
loudsilence99: Funny, I just went through this yesterday. Our wedding is on Sunday and the rehearsal is this Friday. 5 out of my 10 BMs can’t make the rehearsal.
I wanted to freak out at first……..but it is Friday….people work, Los Angeles traffic adds an hour to anyone’s commute no matter what….. this is absolutely innevitable.
So if the boys make it, they can show the girls what to do.
Good for you and props on how you handled it!!!!!!!
Post # 14
I was in a wedding this summer and one of the groomsmens missed the enitre rehearsal. He just coudn’t make it and they didn’t stop all plans for one guy. Yeah it kind of sucks but what can you do.
Post # 15
I have been in approximately 200,000 weddings, including as a Maid/Matron of Honor. I have NEVER, ever been consulted as to the time of the rehearsal. The time is always set by the bride and groom, and it’s understood that I will do whatever I damn well have to to be there. It’s part of the deal. I think you’d be TOTALLY within your rights and not bridezilla-y at all to say, “Sorry dude, the rehearsal is at 5:00. Deal with it.”
Also, if he *really* can’t make it at 5, it’s ok to do the rehearsal without him and just fill him in when he shows up. Just my opinion– I’ll stop now. 🙂