Member- Dareebs
- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Several reasons my MIL is driving me CRAZY:
1. A few months ago, she added 15 people (relatives that neither of us know) to our already overflowing guest list after we had both parents review the guest list & AFTER we sent out save the dates. I initially said ‘no’ (as I have had to say to my parents as well, to keep our guest list small), so the problems began here.
2. While we were resolving the guest list issues, she claimed that the disagreement had ‘nothing to do with stress or the wedding. I don’t care for how, you ‘Dareebs’ treated me and spoke to me. It was quite unbelieveable and extremely hurtful.’ Note: The only thing we could think of that I said to her was ‘no’ on sending out additional invites to relatives we had never met. She went on to say ‘This is nothing new’, although we have NEVER even so much as frowned at one another in the 8 years that I’ve known their family. And I’ve never talked about them to FI behind their back before this issue.
2. After I had my first wedding-related sob fest and this first MIL issue was resolved (after I apologized and granted her request), she told me I needed to ‘take a step back [from wedding planning] to get a clear head’. After her requests, she has the audacity to say, ‘If you forget to do or plan something…..don’t worry as long as you have a Pastor and booze’. She then goes on to say ‘Just enjoy every step of the way. Because you will only be doing this once in your life time…..once right???!!! hahahahaha’. Making jokes about divorce is never funny, and it’s especially not amusing when you include it in an email teeming with hatred for me.
3. She’s currently mad that my mom included MIL and BMs as hosts for the bridal shower because she doesn’t want to be involved. My mom did this out of the kindness of her heart just in case anyone else steps in to help her; she has reached out to everyone asking for help and wanted to make sure everyone would be acknowledged.
4. Today, she sent another passive-aggressive email to my FI, about me, (yet she always CCs these to me) in which she said I break promises, called me a liar, conniving, and that she feels like I am going to try my best to alienate her son from his family. The purpose of this email was to convince me to invite 3 more guests to the bridal shower, which I have no problem doing. However, I do HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM with the other content of that email.
BACK STORY:
FI and I have been together for nearly 7 years, are about as drama-free as relationships can possibly be. We have our lives together, graduated from college, and have no financial or occupational problems. We both have parents who have been happily married for 30 and 31 years, are very close with our immediate families, and LOVE spending time together. Prior to planning our wedding, I have never had ANY problems with his family and he has never had any problems with mine. Really, we couldn’t be more blessed.
Now I am FAR from perfect and quite frankly, I suck at this whole wedding-planning-thing. It is really hard, unbelievably expensive, time-consuming, and EXHAUSTING. I have lost so much sleep worrying about my wedding to-do list. I have become so forgetful and often forget to return vendors’ phone calls or send them the email that I said I would send. To keep track of the madness, I created the greatest excel document of all time and I have been working on a wedding binder for the day of. If I didn’t have these, my life would be a hot mess and I don’t think I would be able to fall asleep at night AT ALL (some nights, it has taken me a couple of hours to fall asleep because I am stressing about the wedding). So although I’m trying my best, I’m definitely not perfect and I don’t want to be attacked every single time I say the wrong thing or make a small mistake.
In person, my MIL is (or at least acts?) super sweet and will do anything for you; total pleasure to be around. My MIL is also an extremely anxious woman, so I’ll give her that. I also suppose I ‘broke promises’ to her in regards to sending her emails in a timely manner; however, my mom and I have been planning this wedding by ourselves and my mom recently stepped away from wedding planning with me to focus on the bridal shower that is a few weeks away. FI has little to no interest in making decisions for the wedding. So I’m doing this BY MYSELF! So give me a break lol! I do know that my MIL absolutely adores my FI and I understand that she’s grieving ‘the loss’ of him to marriage… even though our lives will be exactly the same except we will be legally married, but I digress. I just can’t figure out why she has to be so unbelievably mean to me!
Sorry about that disorganized rant & congratulations if you actually read the entire post! I think my mother and sister are tired of hearing the drama, so thanks for letting me vent 🙂
