(Closed) Vent: My mom is shooting down every idea I have :(

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

You need to stop telling her things. I went through a little bit of this with my mother and I realized that I needed to leave her out of things unless she asked. My mother is a kind person but she had some strange issues when I was getting married. It was better for our relationship and my stress level to leave her out of the little details. <<<hugs>>> and good luck

Post # 4
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with PP… I seriously had this issue with Future Mother-In-Law. I told Fiance I was going to screm if I heard the phrase “Weeelllll, what if you do this, instead.” But like the first poster said, I just stopped telling her ever lil detail unless she asked…. then when she does ask, I say, “well ____ really has his heart set on this” because she tends to question it less when she knows it came from his mouth, as well as mine.

Post # 6
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh wow! Yeah, that would be hard! :O I just saw the part about the flats… my heels are only 2 inches! I couldn’t walk in anything higher! LOL!

Just hang in there are remember, things have changed SO MUCH since when she got married. I have to remind myself that daily…..

Post # 7
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I went through the same thing and I was also living with my mom at the time. I had to bite my tongue a lot because I am not the most polite person. I knew she was trying to help but she has such different opinions than I do. I just had to stop telling her my thoughts and ideas but in the end it stopped hurting both our feelings. It got a lot better after I moved out though.

On the flats note, I wore very thin wedges even though I am a little more than a foot shorter than him. I don’t have a picture of them on me but here they are in a stock picture.

 

Post # 8
Member
8 posts
Newbee

Perhaps she was trying to help.  I know when I get engage and plan my big day that my mother (bless her) is going to step in and say I should be doing  this or I should be doing that.  That is just her.

All I can say sweetie is keep some of your wedding ideas to yourself.  Perhaps the shoe thing, swap your heels for your flats in the last two minutes before heading out lol.

Post # 9
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

hopefully it will pass… heres some inspiration for your shoes!

Post # 10
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

I know how you feel, my mom was this way when I would show her venues online. She would shoot everything down and tell me I couldn’t afford them. I realized I need to just stop showing them to her or stop telling her the prices. I also told her how she was making me feel.

Post # 10
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

I know how you feel, my mom was this way when I would show her venues online. She would shoot everything down and tell me I couldn’t afford them. I realized I need to just stop showing them to her or stop telling her the prices. I also told her how she was making me feel.

Post # 11
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My mom is similar – I should show you the email she sent me telling us to change our color scheme that my fiance and I chose together and love.  I had to call her and tell her in no uncertain terms that while I appreciate her opinion, it is my fiance and I’s wedding, NOT hers. *sigh*  It is rough, but just let me know if you need to talk about it – I definitely know where you are coming from!

Post # 12
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

hopefully things will get better between you and your mum……i;m wearing flats, i like flat comfy shoes, and me and my fiance are the same height and i don’t want to be taller…. i’d put him in heels if i could lol 

Post # 13
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Moms sometimes have a hard time letting go and this is the ultimate cutting of the apron strings. You will no longer be her little girl but will be moving out and becoming a wife. She will forever more be forced to deal with you as an equal. Just try to remember that this is probably a very emotional time for her. Moms go thru it when kids go away to college, join the military etc. Add the stress of a wedding and BAM momzilla.

Come to the bee with your ideas. I would love to hear about each and every detail Smile I love flats and need to find some pretty ones too so share what you find please.

Post # 14
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

There could be so many reasons why she is behaving in this way……..One of my friend faced the same situation…….Try to find out the reason if you can……..As you are saying that you are her only daughter and you have been so close to each other….

Might possible that she is sad that you will leave her….may be she is preparing herself for that time when you will have your own family and won’t be able to give her that much time……..
Try to spend some time with her…only you two……she may feel good……

Or as other said…..stop sharing your ideas with her till she ask herself…….

Post # 15
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Here are my flats that I wore… I decorated them myself since I thought they were a little to plain. It worked great until one of the flowers got stuck in the lacce of my dress. The dress was still too long after being hemmed and I had to kick it out in order to not trip.

Sorry it is a cell pic so not the clearest

The topic ‘Vent: My mom is shooting down every idea I have :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors